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Old 01-19-2010, 09:02 AM
 
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One thing I have noticed with lots of the men I have dated in the past is that they communicated with me just fine, via email, but not so great face to face. I wonder how common this is in the technology centered world we face today.

My ex would send me the greatest emails and instant messages. We communicated so well via a computer but put him in front of me and he was a dud. Can you relate?
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Old 01-19-2010, 09:21 AM
 
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well, I can tell you that both forms of communication require practice. It sounds like you're dating men who are antisocial.
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Old 01-19-2010, 09:30 AM
 
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I can relate. I dated a girl who had a hard time discussing her feelings in person. She was better at it over email. In general, she seemed to prefer the latest technology to communicate (text, IM, etc.) rather than chatting on the phone or talking in person. I think a lot of people use these tools as a way to not have real conversations. They prefer to keep things very short.
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Old 01-19-2010, 09:37 AM
 
Location: Atlanta, GA
600 posts, read 1,608,858 times
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I can definitely relate to that. I am terrible with words when it comes to face to face conversations, but pretty good in emails and texts. When it comes to touchy subjects, I need some time to find the right words. I think my ex kinda made me that way. He misunderstood me all the time, and got angry for no reason, so I preferred to email him in order to avoid misunderstandings. As ironic as it is (written conversation is usually considered more prone to misunderstandings), it worked. God, he was terrible at communication...
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Old 01-19-2010, 09:44 AM
 
Location: 2nd state in the union...
2,382 posts, read 4,590,155 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Internet Discussion View Post
One thing I have noticed with lots of the men I have dated in the past is that they communicated with me just fine, via email, but not so great face to face. I wonder how common this is in the technology centered world we face today.

My ex would send me the greatest emails and instant messages. We communicated so well via a computer but put him in front of me and he was a dud. Can you relate?
I have a really good friend who can write like there's no tomorrow, but you get him on the phone and *epic fail.* Some people are just better at communicating when it's written.

In a relationship...that's a different story. I don't know that I'd care to be dating someone who I couldn't converse with comfortably face-to-face.
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Old 01-19-2010, 09:52 AM
 
Location: Philly
1,776 posts, read 4,003,096 times
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I hate excessive texting but I find it better to text with my gf if we aren’t talking about anything serious. Like if we are just asking the normal checking in/ ‘how is your day’ type talk. If we do a phone call, it’s short, and kind of weird, since we’re both introverted and don’t say much.

She and I have had a talk about improving the quality of our conversations. Like Denny, she’s not good with discussing her feelings, and there are a lot of breaks and generalizations in her speech if she has to freestyle them. I find it hard to go back and forth in that manner.
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Old 01-19-2010, 09:54 AM
 
Location: Philly
1,776 posts, read 4,003,096 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by sweetheart1311 View Post
I can definitely relate to that. I am terrible with words when it comes to face to face conversations, but pretty good in emails and texts. When it comes to touchy subjects, I need some time to find the right words. I think my ex kinda made me that way. He misunderstood me all the time, and got angry for no reason, so I preferred to email him in order to avoid misunderstandings. As ironic as it is (written conversation is usually considered more prone to misunderstandings), it worked. God, he was terrible at communication...
What made him terrible at communciation?
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Old 01-19-2010, 10:07 AM
 
Location: Atlanta, GA
600 posts, read 1,608,858 times
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Originally Posted by IZthe411 View Post
What made him terrible at communciation?
If there was any issue at all (even serious issues, like him lying to me and me finding out), and I would bring it up - he would just get extremely angry (whether he was wrong or right), yell at me (not letting me say anything in my defense or explain myself), go to the guest bedroom, lock the door and not speak to me for a day or few days, depending on how serious the issue was. Hence the emails. The only way I could explain myself and say what I wanted to say was through email. How sad...

That's the worst communicator I have EVER met, let alone dated.
I still can't believe I was with him for so long.
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Old 01-19-2010, 10:29 AM
 
Location: Philly
1,776 posts, read 4,003,096 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by sweetheart1311 View Post
If there was any issue at all (even serious issues, like him lying to me and me finding out), and I would bring it up - he would just get extremely angry (whether he was wrong or right), yell at me (not letting me say anything in my defense or explain myself), go to the guest bedroom, lock the door and not speak to me for a day or few days, depending on how serious the issue was. Hence the emails. The only way I could explain myself and say what I wanted to say was through email. How sad...

That's the worst communicator I have EVER met, let alone dated.
I still can't believe I was with him for so long.
Okay, if he lied to you and didn't even communicate serious things, then yes I agree that's a communication issue.
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Old 01-19-2010, 10:35 AM
 
Location: Incognito
7,005 posts, read 21,328,631 times
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I communicate better by email, since I don't have an accent while I'm typing.
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