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I would be concerned that the person without passion wouldn't have any for me.
I don't mean the wearing one's passion on the sleeve or passion for the topic of the day; I mean deep, life-sustaining passion.
My husband and I have a couple of topics that we are diametrically opposed on and which we both feel passionate about. We even discuss these topics but without trying to sway the other to our side. We are intelligent enough that we can respect the other's pov without having to agree with it. It's nice - makes for some interesting and passionate discussions - and which fuel other passions. Seeing his passion, regardless of the subject matter, is a major turn-on to me and it's one of the many things that drew me to him.
OP, i'm not really familiar with your posting history, but from the posts in this thread, I'm noticing that you aren't much interested in things which make you happy, and that maybe your "fire has gone out".
Forgive me if I'm wrong, or misreading things, but those can be signs of depression.
Could it be that you are depressed, and it's causing you to question your situation, rather than the other way around ?
Then those two things are "feeding off each others' energies" if you like, the more you get nowhere, the more depressed you get, the more depressed you get, the more you feel you're getting nowhere...........................
If both of you are depressed, well, that doesn't bear thinking about.
Remember, you don't have to feel unhappy to be depressed.
No, this is just a hypothetical. I'm not in a relationship now.
I noted on another thread that one person was giving the other the "silent treatment" by not discussing the "issues". Looking into that thread more, there were other times such treatment was used, but I figured that perhaps it was something that couldn't be resolved, and the silent partner saw no point in beating a dead horse.
Agreeing to disagree---yet, say no more about the topic. It would be like sensing an upcoming argument and heading it off at the pass by saying, "I don't want to talk about it!"
OK, that's fair enough, I must have missed the hypothetical part, or misinterpereted.
as you were.............................................. ......
Quote:
Originally Posted by TKramar
No, this is just a hypothetical. I'm not in a relationship now.
I noted on another thread that one person was giving the other the "silent treatment" by not discussing the "issues". Looking into that thread more, there were other times such treatment was used, but I figured that perhaps it was something that couldn't be resolved, and the silent partner saw no point in beating a dead horse.
Agreeing to disagree---yet, say no more about the topic. It would be like sensing an upcoming argument and heading it off at the pass by saying, "I don't want to talk about it!"
One of the reasons I was wondering was because on another thread, the poster felt that the "issues" weren't being "resolved". It is perfectly possible for two people to have different opinions on a subject, and further discussion will not change anyone's mind. So why continue to beat a dead horse? But the poster felt it was important to keep discussing those issues, to "resolve" those issues, even though neither party was going to compromise.
It really depends on the subject of the difference of opinion and how it impacts the relationship from day to day.
It's pure pride and ego in certain instances. If it's compromising your integrity and values, it's a whole other ball game.
Those who refuse to see anything from someones else's vantage and insist other's adopt their opinions, will beat a dead horse.
It really depends on the subject of the difference of opinion and how it impacts the relationship from day to day.
It's pure pride and ego in certain instances. If it's compromising your integrity and values, it's a whole other ball game.
Those who refuse to see anything from someones else's vantage and insist other's adopt their opinions, will beat a dead horse.
This is my take on it.
You can agree to disagree with things that don't affect your relationship all day long. Those topics that affect you and your relationship on a daily basis, as well as those things that change your opinion or level of respect for your partner (and vice versa), have to be addressed.
My gf moved to Orlando 5 years ago to take care of her parents.
She moved back to be with me and quit her job, only to move back to Orlando becuase we were fighting.
We got back together and I took a job in Texas, she quit her job in Orlando and moved to Tx with me. She was unemployed after a year in Tx and couldn't find a job and moved back to Orlando for another job offer leaving me in Tx by myself. I moved back to South Fl. after getting my old job back and she told me that I have to move to Orlando and she will never live in South Fl and hates it.
So she has quit two jobs for me, ruined her life with unemployment, and now it's my turn to make the move and I can't do it. I make very good money and my job is a tough position to find. So we've been living with each other off and on for 10 years. I spend most of my life by myself and live like a single guy only I am trust worthy
In several ways my wife and I are polar opposites -- politically, religiously, etc. However, we also maintain the abilities to have conversations rather than confrontations and to agree to disagree when we're at an impasse.
You can agree to disagree with things that don't affect your relationship all day long. Those topics that affect you and your relationship on a daily basis, as well as those things that change your opinion or level of respect for your partner (and vice versa), have to be addressed.
I agree, The standstill / impasse come into play when one refuses to address them, the defenses at work in the standstill can be as complicated as the issue itself.
Seventy percent of the time, the choice is made for them.
Of course, this also explains clearly why men in their 40s, do not appear too eager to put their organ in the meat grinder once again. Its not just that they are shy.
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