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He is coming with me. And I picked a male counselor because I figured it'd be easier for him to talk to a guy instead of a female.
I dunno... I dunno what to do anymore.
Well, at least he agreed to go with you. I just hope that he gets something out of the first visit, so he will go back again.
I have to wonder...with no job, etc..how does he think he`s gonna live, if your taking care of him now?
You may not believe this, but many of us have gone through very similar situations, aqnd have felt what you are feeling. It is devastating, but ultimately you will be better off without him. I've learned that when someone says you are too good for them and they don't deserve you, they are telling the truth. Keep yourself very busy, move on with your life, do things you enjoy, make yourself the best you can be, and someone who will treat you with love and respect will pop into your life. It's hard for you to see because you are in the midst of it and emotions are clouding your thoughts, but this will give you a chance to have a better life. Holding onto someone who doesn't want you, can't support themselves financially, and is distant is not productive. You deserve better.
I want his family to mind their own business. His mom thinks it's okay for him to just walk away like that. What the hell does she know about marriage? She cheated on my husband's dad which led him to win custody of my husband and his sister when they were younger...and they were brought up in an abusive environment.
She has no room to say anything. We're going to counseling next week and I don't know if it's going to help any...I just want to know I did everything I could have done to make it work. I want input from someone who knows neither one of us. Someone who's not going to take sides.
He's become so distant. Things were fine a couple months after he moved back to CO - after getting out of the Marine Corps ( no, he has never deployed so this has nothing to do with PTSD ). He doesn't have a job. He hasn't worked since June.
He sees a shrink - which I pay for through my health insurance at work. However, I doubt he tells his doctor everything. I doubt he opens up about the fact that he shuts himself off all the time. That he's so afraid of rejection. He tries to act all macho all the damn time but it's just to hide his insecurities and fear of getting hurt.
He wasn't this ******* before. He was good to me. I don't know what happened. I know he's unhappy for being out of the Military - he has back problems and couldn't re-enlist. Well, I couldn't go back in the Army either due to an injury ( I didn't deploy ) but that doesn't mean I am going to be ****ty to my spouse when they try to be there for me and cheer me up.
I have never treated him badly or neglected him. I HAVE NEVER DONE ANYTHING TO HURT HIM!
I know he has issues and he's told me he never deserved me because he did so many bad things in the past but he was happy to have found me.
I was married before. For a short period of time. I was immature and didn't take my relationship seriously. The guy pissed me off once - he neglected me and I asked for a divorce because he didn't seem like he wanted to change. I wish we had talked it through. Not because I regret it or anything but because now I know that is what should have been done. You can't just leave someone like that. I have learned from my mistakes. Marriage is not a joke. Marriage is the ultimate commitment...but so many people fail to realize that!
I wish my husband would open his eyes because he's about to lose a lot. I asked if he knew how lucky he was to have me and he said he didn't.
I work so much to support us. To be able to afford what we have. We always have food at home and we're so lucky to have health insurance and a nice apartment.
Things could have been a lot worse...but he doesn't see it.
I'm not sure you are getting what's going on here...believe it or not this is not about you!
YOU haven't done anything wrong, YOU aren't suddenly undesirable. HE IS BIPOLAR. Have you done some research on people with this disease? Do some more. They self-sabatoge, they self-distruct. They put the people who love them thru hell.
I know you want his actions to make sense to you, but that is where you are making your biggest mistake and wasting your energy! What he is doing by rejecting you and pulling away from you makes no sense to anyone but HIM.
Go to the counseling, do everything you think you have to do to save your marriage, and him. But in the end, if he doesn't want to be saved there is nothing you can do for him, I'm so sorry. But you have to stop thinking that HE can, or should, be able to think like a rational person, because right now he can't.
It sounds like you're doing everything you can to keep you two together. But ultimately, BOTH people have to be willing, or it won't work. Maybe with the counseling, he will see what he will be losing.
But you need to be prepared for the very real possibility that he won't, ESP. given his bi-polar disorder. So be ready to move on, pick up the pieces, and be PROUD of yourself, for giving it all you've got. In the end, you have to be happy with your own life, and being with someone who is not wanting to be there 100% - how will that make you happy, in the long run? Hang in there.
It sounds like you're doing everything you can to keep you two together. But ultimately, BOTH people have to be willing, or it won't work. Maybe with the counseling, he will see what he will be losing.
But you need to be prepared for the very real possibility that he won't, ESP. given his bi-polar disorder. So be ready to move on, pick up the pieces, and be PROUD of yourself, for giving it all you've got. In the end, you have to be happy with your own life, and being with someone who is not wanting to be there 100% - how will that make you happy, in the long run? Hang in there.
I know... Wow.. I just can't believe I am still around.
I am going to college full-time, working full-time and supporting both of us. I don't know how I make it through the day.
He has a counseling session with his psychologyst on monday. I wonder if I should go.
It's ****ty. Thank God I have ambition because he doesn't. I have always been independent and self sufficient and never expected anyone to get things done for me.
I just don't think I can handle the stress. Everything is going down. My boss sent me home today because I nearly passed out and I've been sick. Stress is killing me. I've lost 8 pounds this week
Your husband is a loser...sorry to say. My marriage ended and it's an endless cycle of work and crying. I lose 20 pounds. Then, you wake up one day and look at your sorry azz in the mirror. You realize you are sick and tired of being sick and tired. Hey, life goes on without a man. Especially a worthless man. Do men stay with women with these problems?
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