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Old 01-23-2010, 01:57 PM
 
Location: Western Washington
7,990 posts, read 5,451,705 times
Reputation: 19165

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Quote:
Originally Posted by Randomstudent View Post
That is equally true for both sexes, not just guys.
Oh believe me, I agree 100%. There are FAR too many grandparents out there raising their daughters' kids because of this very reason. Women need to think before they have sex! They need to think of a whole LOT of things! Is the act mutual?...or is the guy making empty promises to simply get what he wants? These gals who are out there putting out need to be fully aware of a very important thing...More than likely, the guy is gonna bail on her and she's going to end up raising that kid on her own.

As we can see on this thread, most guys aren't going to want to be raising someone else's kid. She's on her own, especially if she doesn't have family to help. There's a real big problem with a "what if" deficit in this world...."What IF I get pregnant?" , "What IF he leaves"..."What IF he turns out to be a miserable, mean, vindictive SOB and we have a kid together and I'm STUCK with him in my life until I DIE"?

Yeah, there are a whole lot of those what ifs to consider....."What IF she gets pregnant, won't kill the kid and my life is screwed....with child support adding up every single day of my life?" "What IF she gets pregnant and I don't want to be with her...want to be with someone else, or my buddies, but I'm getting hounded about child support."? People do not THINK of those things now, do they? No, they think...I'm horny, let's screw! PERIOD!

 
Old 01-23-2010, 02:00 PM
 
Location: SoCal - Sherman Oaks & Woodland Hills
12,980 posts, read 18,938,612 times
Reputation: 10491
Quote:
Originally Posted by beachmel
Women need to think before they have sex! They need to think of a whole LOT of things!
Women are not going to think before they have sex. The sex drive in humans are too strong. Nothing going to stop that. What they DO need to think about is precautions against getting pregnant and MOST IMPORTANTLY they need to NOT BE STUPID TO HAVE A BABY BY SOME GUY THEY JUST HAVE SEX WITH!!

THEY NEED TO NOT BE STUPID TO HAVE A BABY OUT OF WEDLOCK. THAT is what they really need to do.
 
Old 01-23-2010, 02:06 PM
 
Location: Western Washington
7,990 posts, read 5,451,705 times
Reputation: 19165
If birth control were 100% effective ALWAYS that wouldn't be a problem now, would it!? Even condoms.....yeah, roughly 97% effective. Do you GET statistics? That means, 100 folks can use condoms.....and 3 of them will get pregnant! 1000 people can use them....30 of them will get pregnant! Keep it in you frickin pants until you've weighed the alternatives. For the record, believe it or not (maybe not in YOUR world), there ARE women out there who have enough brains, due to others mistakes.....who DO think first.......guys too!
 
Old 01-23-2010, 02:11 PM
 
Location: North Carolina
6,766 posts, read 7,846,540 times
Reputation: 6306
I wonder if the OP would have a problem being friends w/ a guy who had a child but had nothing to do w/ said child?

If we are talking about morals here and not just not wanting to be around kids.
 
Old 01-23-2010, 02:19 PM
 
4,838 posts, read 5,189,340 times
Reputation: 2907
When I was young and naive, I actually thought that these women might have learned something from their experience and treat the decent men, who stepped up to the plate, like the extremely rare gem they really are.

From what I've seen, this is not the case at all. She's seldom is satisfied with him (just read the regular scathing comments from women on this site about nice guys, to see what I mean) and she would rather have a cleaned up, lottery winning version of the guy who she had her kids with.

As all women know, once he's signed up for marriage, she has the upper hand and at that time, such women can change radically. (She usually has a kid with him first) The one thing they've "learned" from their experience is that all men are basically like the one who abandoned them. However, the nice guy is now in a far worse position than the biological father, who could just leave, since the nice guy has a lot to lose - assets, a good job, an education.

Sometimes, men say, "the children are older so I only have 10 years or so, and they'll be gone. I don't plan to spring for college for his kids."

This is illogical. First of all, for any girls you adopt, you have just given them the idea that there will always be someone to make things right. They'll never amount to much as a result and live with you and their kids long after they reach age 20. Given the trends, they'll likely be with you until your wife's grandchildren are at least 20! That's another 25 to 40 years.

The boys will take after their father and be banging skanks from age 15. This will put you in the middle of nasty, violent incidents between the junior Lotharios and the girl's parents. Later on, as he fails to get an education and drifts into a life of crime, you'll become bail bondsman and associate parole officer.

A lawyer friend of mine encountered all of this and more. He got married 30 years ago and only now, has an empty house. I haven't seen them together as a couple in many years.
 
Old 01-23-2010, 02:22 PM
 
Location: Tennessee
15,410 posts, read 14,724,274 times
Reputation: 21852
Quote:
Originally Posted by Repubocrat View Post

Why in the HELL would anybody sign up for something like this? I guess, unless you are desperate or have no self respect, I don't see a logical reason to do this.

Your 32, right?
Your biological clock is tickin` dude. My advice to you is to hurry and find a woman who does not have any kids, but good luck with that!
I honestly don`t understand the "having no self respect" comment.
 
Old 01-23-2010, 02:22 PM
 
Location: North Carolina
6,766 posts, read 7,846,540 times
Reputation: 6306
Quote:
Originally Posted by yankeegirl313 View Post
Your 32, right?
Your biological clock is tickin` dude. My advice to you is to hurry and find a woman who does not have any kids, but good luck with that!
I honestly don`t understand the "having no self respect" comment.
And he said he likes women older than himself. Good luck indeed!
 
Old 01-23-2010, 02:24 PM
 
Location: NJ
1,244 posts, read 2,172,386 times
Reputation: 989
Quote:
Originally Posted by Repubocrat View Post
Sorry about being insensitive but I lately I have come across a few broads who expect a man like me, 32, single, no children to basically put a hold on his personal life and be a Dad to their children while Dad is nowhere to be found.
Why in the HELL would anybody sign up for something like this? I guess, unless you are desperate or have no self respect, I don't see a logical reason to do this.
I met a girl a few weeks ago and after I came to her house for the first time, she was all like "Well, we have to make a decision now, can you handle me and my son?" I was like, honey, I barely know you, and how the **** do you expect me to make a decision?
Some crazy women out there!
Broads ?

Like a deer in headlights, I got stuck on that word for almost a minute. I went to check what year it was on the calendar. Mine says 2010.

Quote:
Originally Posted by zz4guy View Post
A single man with no kids and 32 years old can do better than some broad who decided to open her legs before marriage. Dont sweat it; look elsewhere and be confident in who you are.
Hmmm, lemme re-check that calendar, yup - still 2010. Unless you are a virgin yourself, don't expect others to be.

Quote:
Originally Posted by 007.5 View Post
If children are a deal-breaker for you, why dont you find out if the gal youve just met has young children or not before dating her ? Wouldnt that make a little more sense for you , instead of reacting indignantly that you would be getting involved in a packaged-deal ? Or...were you just looking to have a copulation with her then move onto the next thrill ?
Perfect logic! Although I think he would have rather found out after copulation.

Quote:
Originally Posted by robee70 View Post
I think you have every right to not want to be with a women with kids and she has every right to not want to date a guy who will be accepting of the fact that she has kids.

Since this is such a major dealbreaker - why didn't you iron this out before you went over?
True. ALL Men or Women have every right to choose who they DO NOT WANT TO DATE. Sometimes it's "people with kids", or someone too fat/skinny, or too... (insert any reason here). The OP wasted part of one evening of his life because he failed to perform the proper "background check" on a potential date and thus, this thread.

To the OP: A lot of eighteen-year-old women may not be virgins anymore and most of them don't have kids. Would they be alright for what you want them for? You know where the High School is - go find your next date.
 
Old 01-23-2010, 02:34 PM
 
3,424 posts, read 3,475,607 times
Reputation: 1774
Quote:
Originally Posted by NotARedneck View Post
When I was young and naive, I actually thought that these women might have learned something from their experience and treat the decent men, who stepped up to the plate, like the extremely rare gem they really are.

From what I've seen, this is not the case at all. She's seldom is satisfied with him (just read the regular scathing comments from women on this site about nice guys, to see what I mean) and she would rather have a cleaned up, lottery winning version of the guy who she had her kids with.

As all women know, once he's signed up for marriage, she has the upper hand and at that time, such women can change radically. (She usually has a kid with him first) The one thing they've "learned" from their experience is that all men are basically like the one who abandoned them. However, the nice guy is now in a far worse position than the biological father, who could just leave, since the nice guy has a lot to lose - assets, a good job, an education.

Sometimes, men say, "the children are older so I only have 10 years or so, and they'll be gone. I don't plan to spring for college for his kids."

This is illogical. First of all, for any girls you adopt, you have just given them the idea that there will always be someone to make things right. They'll never amount to much as a result and live with you and their kids long after they reach age 20. Given the trends, they'll likely be with you until your wife's grandchildren are at least 20! That's another 25 to 40 years.

The boys will take after their father and be banging skanks from age 15. This will put you in the middle of nasty, violent incidents between the junior Lotharios and the girl's parents. Later on, as he fails to get an education and drifts into a life of crime, you'll become bail bondsman and associate parole officer.

A lawyer friend of mine encountered all of this and more. He got married 30 years ago and only now, has an empty house. I haven't seen them together as a couple in many years.

this is very well said, and to sum this up, I believe the moral of the story is: Dont be a sucker.

Any person who looks to a man or woman to help raise their kids are almost always looking for some sucker to aide them in dealing with their original poor mate selection. Dont be that sucker.
 
Old 01-23-2010, 02:43 PM
 
Location: Eternal State of Confusion
7,310 posts, read 8,665,401 times
Reputation: 9485
Quote:
Originally Posted by LaoTzuMindFu View Post
Women are not going to think before they have sex. The sex drive in humans are too strong. Nothing going to stop that. What they DO need to think about is precautions against getting pregnant and MOST IMPORTANTLY they need to NOT BE STUPID TO HAVE A BABY BY SOME GUY THEY JUST HAVE SEX WITH!!

THEY NEED TO NOT BE STUPID TO HAVE A BABY OUT OF WEDLOCK. THAT is what they really need to do.

What if she's single with children and divorced? Does that change things for you? Or was she just as stupid because she married and had sex with the "wrong" guy.
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