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Old 01-25-2010, 06:59 AM
 
Location: The Hall of Justice
20,676 posts, read 17,494,314 times
Reputation: 28896
I don't see much wrong with either person's actions. They seem to simply have different approaches to dating. I can understand a man's hesitation to drop $100 to date a woman he barely knows, and I can understand how some women would be unimpressed by a cup of coffee and a couple games of pool. Different priorities, different approaches.

However, the lack of ANYTHING nice said about the guy (as of page 13--I quit reading after that), and the OP's rather stuck-up attitude drains most of the sympathy I have for her out of it. Store-bought cookies? Are you kidding me? The "gift of your presence" ... barf.
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Old 01-25-2010, 07:00 AM
 
Location: Kuwait City, Kuwait.
1,125 posts, read 1,165,913 times
Reputation: 1010
Quote:
Originally Posted by VegasGrace View Post
(this isn't about money...it's lack of imagination and fun. A trip to the closest museum and a picnic in the park would be more fun than this nonsense. Even going together to volunteer at the local shelter would show more substance than this stuff)
Take initiative then, and suggest something. This is my gripe. You [collectively] don't like where he takes you, and yet you don't wanna suggest something. Either shut up and stop moaning, or take initiative and suggest to go somewhere. Oh no, it's the "mans job" to take initiative and it's your job to sit on your backside and look like pretty princess. Yeah, I forgot you love gender roles when it suits you. And when it doesn't its sexism.

Gosh, I'm just grateful for the women I know are on the same wavelength as me, and don't have a sense of entitlement. Perhaps it's a nationality thing, but I don't wanna get into that and open a can of worms. I treat my women with respect and courtesy, and they don't whine if I take them out for a 2 coffee at Starbucks or somewhere expensive. It's all about connecting and having a great time together - who gives a crap if it's over a glass of water or over an expensive four course meal at an Italian restaurant.

Quote:
Originally Posted by JustJulia View Post
I don't see much wrong with either person's actions. They seem to simply have different approaches to dating. I can understand a man's hesitation to drop $100 to date a woman he barely knows, and I can understand how some women would be unimpressed by a cup of coffee and a couple games of pool. Different priorities, different approaches.

However, the lack of ANYTHING nice said about the guy (as of page 13--I quit reading after that), and the OP's rather stuck-up attitude drains most of the sympathy I have for her out of it. Store-bought cookies? Are you kidding me? The "gift of your presence" ... barf.
Exactly. Thank you. Many seem to think a guy who barely knows a girl should spend a ludicrous amount on her. Again, I'm glad the women I know don't have that ridiculous sense of entitlement. If a woman asked me out and invited me to her home and made us cupcakes and we enjoyed each other's company, talked and had a great time, then I would so appreciate the effort she made and the fact that she likes me and shows interest in me counts for much more than everything else. That is all that matters. Connecting is all that matters.
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Old 01-25-2010, 07:59 AM
 
29,113 posts, read 17,151,307 times
Reputation: 14137
Quote:
Originally Posted by JustJulia View Post
I don't see much wrong with either person's actions. They seem to simply have different approaches to dating. I can understand a man's hesitation to drop $100 to date a woman he barely knows, and I can understand how some women would be unimpressed by a cup of coffee and a couple games of pool. Different priorities, different approaches.

However, the lack of ANYTHING nice said about the guy (as of page 13--I quit reading after that), and the OP's rather stuck-up attitude drains most of the sympathy I have for her out of it. Store-bought cookies? Are you kidding me? The "gift of your presence" ... barf.
Yeah, this is a funny thread...and by funny I mean pathetic.

What's particularily frightening is the attitude of entitlement and that she also seems to have no sexuality of her own. (Eeeek! He might try to touch and kiss her after a couple dates. )

The only guys I know that would put up with that are complete doormats or jerks just putting in the time etc. only to get sex.

Sounds like someone is very materialistic.
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Old 01-25-2010, 08:11 AM
 
1,224 posts, read 1,497,687 times
Reputation: 1028
Quote:
Originally Posted by sofiama View Post
yes, I take zero initiative.b/c that's how the dating is supposed to be..guys chase...girls choose..


I never paid on the first three dates... it is HIS great pleasure to have me on a date...what I pay is my time..
What is this guys phone number? I'd like to call and warn him about you.

This isn't the 50's honey. Since when is a nice dinner mandatory? Perhaps he opted for pool and dinner at his place instead of a nice dinner because it was more personable and fun than sitting at a stuffy restaurant talking.

Personally this guy sounds way too good for you.
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Old 01-25-2010, 08:48 AM
 
Location: The cupboard under the sink
3,574 posts, read 3,732,055 times
Reputation: 6090
Default Thanks to Wikipedia

Materialistic describes a person who is markedly more concerned with material things (such as money and possessions) rather than spiritual, intellectual, or cultural values.

Ignorance is the state in which one lacks knowledge, is unaware of something or chooses to subjectively ignore information.

Hotchkiss's seven deadly sins of narcissism

Hotchkiss identified what she called the seven deadly sins of narcissism:
  1. Shamelessness - Shame is the feeling that lurks beneath all unhealthy narcissism, and the inability to process shame in healthy ways.
  2. Magical thinking - Narcissists see themselves as perfect using distortion and illusion known as magical thinking. They also use projection to dump shame onto others.
  3. Arrogance - If a narcissist is feeling deflated, s/he can reinflate him/herself by diminishing, debasing or degrading somebody else.
  4. Envy- If the narcissist's need to secure a sense of superiority meets an obstacle because of somebody else, s/he neutralises it using contempt to minimise the other person's ability
  5. Entitlement - Narcissists hold unreasonable expectations of particularly favorable treatment and automatic compliance because they consider themselves uniquely special. Any failure to comply will be considered an attack on their superiority and the perpetrator is considered to be an "awkward" or "difficult" person. Defiance of their will is a narcissistic injury that can trigger narcissistic rage.
  6. Exploitation- can take many forms but always involves the using of others without regards for their feelings or interests. Often the other is in a subservient position where resistance would be difficult or even impossible. Sometimes the subservience is not so much real as assumed.
  7. Bad boundaries- narcissists do not recognize that they have boundaries and that others are separate and are not extensions of themselves. Others either exist to meet their needs or may as well not exist at all. Those who provide narcissistic supply to the narcissist will be treated as if they are part of the narcissist and be expected to live up to those expectations. In the mind of a narcissist, there is no boundary between self and other.

After reading this thread, I seriously cannot believe that some people on here have the gall to take a pop at TVSG, BLJ, and many of the other "dating disaster" type posters on this board.

Hypocrite- a person who feigns some desirable or publicly approved attitude, esp. one whose private life, opinions, or statements belie his or her public statements.

It's not a wonder how so many of you are single, it's a wonder how many aren't !!

Good luck with the dating, OP, you are going to need it !!
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Old 01-25-2010, 09:31 AM
 
Location: Tucson
42,846 posts, read 51,858,319 times
Reputation: 22729
Quote:
Originally Posted by TKramar View Post
Lol...probably not good enough. She'd probably want to go out to one of those overpriced tourist dives on the island.

Like the Beach Bistro.
Granted, Denny's isn't most people's idea of romance, but it's a start!

They have good food, though. I used to like eating there way back when they still used to have smoking sections.
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Old 01-25-2010, 09:31 AM
Status: "I ignore foolish trolls" (set 28 days ago)
 
Location: Back in the gym...Yo Adrian!
8,849 posts, read 10,444,027 times
Reputation: 16340
So what I've gathered from your first few posts in this thread is that it isn't the "taking advantage" of you that is the issue, it's the "not spending enough on you for dinner" that is the true obstacle. In essence, you've put a price tag on your kitty...seems a nice surf-n-turf entree at Outback Steakhouse ought to cover it. Does he get any "extras" if he springs for appetizers and dessert?
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Old 01-25-2010, 10:32 AM
NSX
 
865 posts, read 1,066,853 times
Reputation: 655
So any ladies want to come over to my place to watch a movie?? It'll be a fun date
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Old 01-25-2010, 10:35 AM
 
Location: Northeastern WI
19,362 posts, read 15,991,429 times
Reputation: 35959
Quote:
Originally Posted by sofiama View Post
he hasn't taken me to a nice restaurant for dinner yet!!!
Whats wrong with that? Heck, who says dating has to cost? There are lots of free things to do, and a home movie is one of them. Just because a guy asks a girl over to see a movie doesnt always mean 'things happen'. But Id set things straight before going over, so he doesnt get any ideas, and either he'll respect it or he'll walk, its simple.
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Old 01-25-2010, 10:47 AM
 
Location: North Carolina
6,766 posts, read 7,312,454 times
Reputation: 6292
Quote:
Originally Posted by max's mama View Post
This is such bull****, I want to throw up. What is going on in the dating world nowdays? Women are EXPECTED to pay for the fourth date? And if she doesn't, then she is a gold-digger. Wow, some men are real piece of work here on this forum.
This dude is cheap. Coffee, pool and all that is not putting out lots of dough. Taking a woman to a nice restaurant is not out of ordinary. It's part of a nice dating process. Nothing like a nice meal and a beautiful conversation. What kind of cheapskates do I see here? Damn, I wouldn't date any of ya if I was single.

Damn, what I see here on this forum lately, is bunch of dudes who are afraid to approach a woman, immediately jump to conclusions that if a woman wants a nice date, she is a gold digger and all that nonsense. Grow up and become MEN for crying out loud.
ITA!

On my first date with my now husband he took me to a very nice, very expensive restaurant
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