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Old 01-25-2010, 11:53 AM
 
Location: South FL
9,444 posts, read 10,138,338 times
Reputation: 7891

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Quote:
Originally Posted by sophialee View Post
ITA!

On my first date with my now husband he took me to a very nice, very expensive restaurant
Well, my husband didn't have a car when we started dating, he had to borrow someone else's truck and the restaurant he took me in wasn't all that fancy, it was decent. My man didn't have that much money, but he had goals and ambitions.

I think my issue here on this thread is not with how much money is being spent. I wasn't even gonna respond to the original post. I chimed in when I saw men accusing women for feeling the sense of "entitlement" and comments like: what are you a princess that you need to be taken out? How about YOU pay for the date? How about YOU take the initiative?

Well, I'm sorry, but men need to step up and be men. There is no reason for the OP to pay for their 4th date. None.
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Old 01-25-2010, 11:58 AM
 
7,705 posts, read 8,142,941 times
Reputation: 11601
Quote:
Originally Posted by sofiama View Post
yes, I take zero initiative.b/c that's how the dating is supposed to be..guys chase...girls choose..


I never paid on the first three dates... it is HIS great pleasure to have me on a date...what I pay is my time..
Assuming you're for real and not a troll....ick. You give women a bad name.
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Old 01-25-2010, 12:03 PM
 
Location: The cupboard under the sink
3,574 posts, read 4,128,364 times
Reputation: 6112
Exactly.

In my view, one of the most romantic first dates I've ever been on was when I was about 18.

I met her in the city, and we began walking, while we talked over where to go.
And, we just kept walking. We were so busy talking, we never went anywhere !!
We wound up in the local park, where we bought some bread, and fed the ducks together.
After that, walking back to town, a big band concert was on, and we lay on the grass, talking for hours, and eating ice cream, and listening to Glenn miller, and Duke Ellington drifting over from the open air bandstand.
As we lay listening, and talking, the sun began to set, and we watched together as the sky turned fiery red, the sun setting over the spectacle of the castle.
We watched as the flocks of sparrows began their daily roosting routine, heading home to bed for the night, swirling, squawking, and dancing in huge clouds.
After the sparrows had retired, bats began to dance around the trees over our heads.
After the concert, I walked her home.
It began to rain, gently. That warm, light, summer rain, barely enough to wet anything, but warm enough not to care. We laughed our heads off, and played in the puddles like children.
As we neared her house, we passed a derelict property, where the most beautiful roses grew in the garden.
I picked one, and gave it to her.

Total cost of the date ?
about $3.

Sadly, as a couple, we didn't work. However, we were best friends for years after that.

It's certainly a night I'll never forget.
The last time I'd talked to her, the rose had been dried, and pressed, and lived in a silk box in a drawer.

But, hey, you guys can have your world of "I want at least 4 dates, and at least $100 dinners on each".

I'll carry on being a hopeless romantic, and a dreamer. Not rich in finance, but wealthy in feeling.

On judgement day, we'll see who it works out best for.



Quote:
Originally Posted by 115db View Post
Whats wrong with that? Heck, who says dating has to cost? There are lots of free things to do, and a home movie is one of them. Just because a guy asks a girl over to see a movie doesnt always mean 'things happen'. But Id set things straight before going over, so he doesnt get any ideas, and either he'll respect it or he'll walk, its simple.
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Old 01-25-2010, 12:04 PM
 
Location: North Carolina
6,766 posts, read 7,846,540 times
Reputation: 6306
Quote:
Originally Posted by max's mama View Post
Well, my husband didn't have a car when we started dating, he had to borrow someone else's truck and the restaurant he took me in wasn't all that fancy, it was decent. My man didn't have that much money, but he had goals and ambitions.

I think my issue here on this thread is not with how much money is being spent. I wasn't even gonna respond to the original post. I chimed in when I saw men accusing women for feeling the sense of "entitlement" and comments like: what are you a princess that you need to be taken out? How about YOU pay for the date? How about YOU take the initiative?

Well, I'm sorry, but men need to step up and be men. There is no reason for the OP to pay for their 4th date. None.
Well my husband did have money when we started dating so I would've thought it strange if he would've taken me anywhere BUT a nice restaurant.

On our like 6th or 7th date I cooked dinner for him at his house and bought all the ingredients and two nice bottles of wine (total cost over $150 iirc.).

I don't see how she's being a golddigger by expecting a decent date. What happened to courting and wooing a woman?

This is why I like older men. Feminism hasn't ruined them.
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Old 01-25-2010, 12:08 PM
 
Location: South FL
9,444 posts, read 10,138,338 times
Reputation: 7891
Quote:
Originally Posted by sophialee View Post
Well my husband did have money when we started dating so I would've thought it strange if he would've taken me anywhere BUT a nice restaurant.

On our like 6th or 7th date I cooked dinner for him at his house and bought all the ingredients and two nice bottles of wine (total cost over $150 iirc.).

I don't see how she's being a golddigger by expecting a decent date. What happened to courting and wooing a woman?

This is why I like older men. Feminism hasn't ruined them.
I don't see how expecting a decent date from a man qualifies you as a gold-digger either, and that's also the reason why I have always been attracted to older men.
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Old 01-25-2010, 12:14 PM
 
Location: The Hall of Justice
21,295 posts, read 19,370,835 times
Reputation: 29950
Equating "decent date" with "$100" is what makes people think "gold-digger." The OP sneered at $60. Maybe the guy doesn't like her enough yet to spend $100 ... who knows. I don't think calling the guy "cheap," as some of you have done, is particularly kind.
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Old 01-25-2010, 12:15 PM
 
Location: Pittsburgh
13,229 posts, read 10,887,386 times
Reputation: 20501
It's one thing to expect a decent date, it's another to expect the guy to be an event planner/talking wallet. Early in the relationship both people should be putting their best feet forward, and there's absolutely no good reason why a woman shouldn't express her interest by planning and paying for a date herself.
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Old 01-25-2010, 12:17 PM
 
Location: Kuwait City, Kuwait.
1,125 posts, read 1,245,847 times
Reputation: 1014
I wonder those who like "old fashioned men" also like when those exact old fashioned men tell them they belong in the kitchen and their opinion is worthless, and dinner should be ready at 6pm on the dot and blah de blah. I guess not. If a man says he likes old fashioned women who obeys him, cleans and cooks, makes sure the dinner is ready when he comes from work etc. etc. he will be accused of sexism and will be destroyed by the women in here. Lol.

It's all good though. Thankfully, not every woman wants to be put on a pedestal. The ones I know want to be treated as equal partners and they LOVE treating their men the same way they have been treated.

Quote:
Originally Posted by fleetiebelle View Post
It's one thing to expect a decent date, it's another to expect the guy to be an event planner/talking wallet. Early in the relationship both people should be putting their best feet forward, and there's absolutely no good reason why a woman shouldn't express her interest by planning and paying for a date herself.
Exactly. That is my gripe. They want to do nothing at all and do no planning and no initiating. Just sit there on their backside and let the man do all the planning, all the paying and everything. And if they don't like what he does, they will moan and whine about it. Damned if you do, damned if you don't. I'm glad not all women are like that. And some actually do reciprocate the same effort.
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Old 01-25-2010, 12:18 PM
 
23 posts, read 18,364 times
Reputation: 54
Quote:
Originally Posted by max's mama View Post
Well, I'm sorry, but men need to step up and be men. There is no reason for the OP to pay for their 4th date. None.
So that's it then? This whole thing comes down to enforcing archaic gender roles?

I mean, it was obvious to us guys in this topic that that was the case from the very beginning of the topic, but wow.

I'd love to hear your rationalization as to why us men still have to abide by these roles, but you women don't have to.

How is saying "men need to step up up and be men" to rationalize men rigidly conforming to a social construct any less sexist than "women need to step up and be women" from a guy who believes that a woman's place is in a kitchen?
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Old 01-25-2010, 12:21 PM
 
Location: South FL
9,444 posts, read 10,138,338 times
Reputation: 7891
Quote:
Originally Posted by JustJulia View Post
Equating "decent date" with "$100" is what makes people think "gold-digger." The OP sneered at $60. Maybe the guy doesn't like her enough yet to spend $100 ... who knows. I don't think calling the guy "cheap," as some of you have done, is particularly kind.
Who cares 60 or 100? If he doesn't like her "enough", he shouldn't be hanging out with her, introducing her to his friends and asking her to come over for movies. He likes her enough to ask her to come to his house, doesn't he? Yeah, maybe I shouldn't have called him "cheap", but the fact remains the same, he didn't spend "lots of dough" as some of you suggested for her to come out and be the first one to pay for dinner.

I split the bill with my SO maybe on the 6th date or something, when I knew that he is crazy about me, by then we spent so much time together without even going on dates, I didn't even think twice to do so.
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