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Old 02-12-2010, 10:25 AM
 
55 posts, read 72,814 times
Reputation: 25

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I get this thought of swapping when ever i end up with a fight with her and i get very excited about it as well i know it is a sin and i wanna come out of it
But i get very excited when i read some stories of swapping i heat my self for this coz i know she will be hurt if she comes to knwo abt these weired thought in my mind ... Not sure how i can come out of this

Last edited by KillMePlzzzzz; 02-12-2010 at 10:27 AM.. Reason: addition

 
Old 02-17-2010, 01:51 PM
 
55 posts, read 72,814 times
Reputation: 25
Well no one is interested to help me outta this situation of mine it seems
 
Old 02-17-2010, 01:58 PM
 
7,483 posts, read 8,496,641 times
Reputation: 6282
Interesting thread. Whenever I hear about people who have open relationships, I can't help but wonder if there are issues that the couple is masking. And it doesn't surprise me that the people who have these relationships eventually split. But I don't think it's necessarily because they developed feelings for someone else. I think one or both people probably didn't want an exclusive relationship to begin with and the open relationship or swinging was a convenient way of having it both ways, so to speak.
 
Old 02-17-2010, 03:25 PM
 
Location: The Hall of Justice
21,267 posts, read 19,330,844 times
Reputation: 29908
Quote:
Originally Posted by DennyCrane View Post
Interesting thread. Whenever I hear about people who have open relationships, I can't help but wonder if there are issues that the couple is masking. And it doesn't surprise me that the people who have these relationships eventually split.
I don't think that's true, at least not any more true than anyone in a relationship will eventually split. National divorce stats vary from the low 30s to the high 40s, depending on where you look. We know many couples who have been in the lifestyle for years and who seem to have a stable, loving relationships. My husband and I went to a party last weekend, and what a fun, happy group of people. Obviously the lifestyle isn't for everyone, but it really does depend on the individuals. There's no way to generalize all of them as being a particular way.

Last edited by JustJulia; 02-17-2010 at 04:37 PM.. Reason: Clarity: I meant divorce stats for all couples
 
Old 02-17-2010, 04:25 PM
 
Location: DFW - Coppell / Las Colinas
18,713 posts, read 17,480,457 times
Reputation: 17859
I'm with JJ above. We have known many couples who have been in the lifestyle a long time and there are very few divorces. Most of the time it is something they do together and is not really an "Open" relationship where they go out individually. As a matter of fact an open relationship is not the norm for most swingers.

There is a saying in the Lifestyle that I agree with and have seen proven many times. It is .....

"The Lifestyle intensifies the relationship you already have. It makes a great relationship better and a bad relationship worse"

The divorce rate among swingers over 30 is from what I have read and seen extremely low.
 
Old 02-17-2010, 04:31 PM
 
Location: DFW - Coppell / Las Colinas
18,713 posts, read 17,480,457 times
Reputation: 17859
Quote:
Originally Posted by KillMePlzzzzz View Post
I get this thought of swapping when ever i end up with a fight with her and i get very excited about it as well i know it is a sin and i wanna come out of it
But i get very excited when i read some stories of swapping i heat my self for this coz i know she will be hurt if she comes to knwo abt these weired thought in my mind ... Not sure how i can come out of this
Not sure what kind of help you are looking for. You need to realize all of us have feelings and thoughts at times. It does not mean we have to act upon them.

Just realize your thoughts are just that, they are not a sin, they are not lust or cheating on your spouse.

You are human like the rest of us. Don't beat yourself up or carry a heavy guilt over these thoughts.
 
Old 02-18-2010, 11:57 AM
 
55 posts, read 72,814 times
Reputation: 25
Quote:
Originally Posted by Rakin View Post
Not sure what kind of help you are looking for. You need to realize all of us have feelings and thoughts at times. It does not mean we have to act upon them.

Just realize your thoughts are just that, they are not a sin, they are not lust or cheating on your spouse.

You are human like the rest of us. Don't beat yourself up or carry a heavy guilt over these thoughts.
Well much appreciated for the sugestion - i am glad to read what u said and this will really help me a lot .. these thought used to come in my mind a lot only when i was mad @ her but then _ i thought its not good to think all these tings and well i think its a SIN to even think like that --- i know ill never ever act like that NOT @ ALL i love her a lot and i cant even see some one else looking / staring @ her that how much i am possesive abt her .. very well said - i used to feel guilty abt this and ashamed @ times and also i used to hate myself for these thoughts .. what u said mekes a lot of sence to me and thanks a lot for ur words

Cheers
 
Old 02-18-2010, 12:18 PM
 
Location: Austin, Texas
2,756 posts, read 3,301,823 times
Reputation: 4455
Swinging and partner swapping is incredibly sexxy and stimulating and can be very, very helpful to rejuvenating a couple's sex life. I don't regret a minute of it. The dirty secret is that everyone who hasn't ever tried it secretly wants to.
 
Old 02-18-2010, 12:31 PM
 
Location: NYC
7,373 posts, read 7,401,926 times
Reputation: 10075
Quote:
Originally Posted by DrummerBoy View Post
Swinging and partner swapping is incredibly sexxy and stimulating and can be very, very helpful to rejuvenating a couple's sex life. I don't regret a minute of it. The dirty secret is that everyone who hasn't ever tried it secretly wants to.
That's just absolutely false. How judgmental & full of yourself you must be to assume everyone secretly wants to live your lifestyle. Some people might, but everyone? Nope.

I don't knock swingers for doing what they want with their lives, too bad swingers can't do the same for those who choose to live their lives differently.

I suspect you do this, make false claims that everyone wants to do what you are doing, because you are insecure about your lifestyle. I can't think of any other reason for it. And it is a common trait among the swinger crowd.
 
Old 02-18-2010, 01:12 PM
 
Location: Austin, Texas
2,756 posts, read 3,301,823 times
Reputation: 4455
Quote:
Originally Posted by Onglet39 View Post
That's just absolutely false. How judgmental & full of yourself you must be to assume everyone secretly wants to live your lifestyle. Some people might, but everyone? Nope.

I don't knock swingers for doing what they want with their lives, too bad swingers can't do the same for those who choose to live their lives differently.

I suspect you do this, make false claims that everyone wants to do what you are doing, because you are insecure about your lifestyle. I can't think of any other reason for it. And it is a common trait among the swinger crowd.
"Common among the swinger crowd" you say?

LOL--sounds like what you don't know about the swinger crowd is a LOT! How many have you know, anyway? Or have you just read a couple Cosmo articles and are thus extropolating that into a semblence of personal experience?

And, um..as far as me being judgemental: you were the first one to get personal and accusing here, not me. And I'm as far from insecure about anything than anybody I know. Hey....Ask anyone.
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