What do you do if society deems you as "not" being relationship material? (guys, love)

[moonlitwishes]

Per OP: I don't think there is anything wrong with dating casually. Doing so would allow you to meet new people and have fun and if someone comes up that would seem like long term relationship material of that is what you want at the time then yay you! JMHO but if you are casually dating a few different people maybe letting them know that you aren't looking for anything exclusive at this time may save you some headache. Good luck to you!
Oh one question have you ever considered or dated women who are independent (w/o being cranky) that have their own career so they aren't as tied up in how much you make?

[thetruthcomesout]

Originally Posted by mango tango

This is nothing about the implied rules of society or requirements women have.

This is ALL about you being burned and bitter from past experiences and letting those exact past experiences take control of your life and viewpoint. I mean, hey, if you want to wallow in misery, self-pity, and cynicism, then be my guest. It's your life. You can waste it if you want.

If I was wasting my time trying to find a woman who probably doesn't exist, I would be either be taking anti depressants or drinking a pint of hard liquor twice day.

Women are too hard to please, because most of them are delusional.

[Chowhound]

Originally Posted by thetruthcomesout

If I was wasting my time trying to find a woman who probably doesn't exist, I would be either be taking anti depressants or drinking a pint of hard liquor twice day.

Women are too hard to please, because most of them are delusional.

Did someone break your little heart??

Most women are delusional huh??

[rlrl]

i agree with you but you have to realize it's very difficult going on a date, facing someone new and having those past experiences stare you in the face while you're trying to make someone like you

[Winecountry1]

[quote=wanderlust76;12684180]wintecountry all I did was ask if I should just date casually, not date at all or pursue a traditional relationship with a woman. Where the h*ll was I crying? Where did I say I wasn't improving myself....where did I say I was broke? Where did I say I wanted a career woman? Where did I say I wanted a woman in their 40's that makes more money than me? Which leads me to my main question - have you been drinking? It is Saturday after all. My question was a valid question that I was wondering about. You didn't answer my question in your original post you sort of went off on a tangent instead which is why I replied to you to begin with. Now that you went off on a second tangent you still did not answer the question I posed. Woooooooowwwwwwwwwwwwww.[/quo


Okay..here ya go. The title of your thread was " What to do if society deems you as 'not' relationship material".

My answer is do NOT date at all until you can stop blaming "society" for your inability to find the kind of women, or any woman, you seek.

It's not society, it's you that has the problem..the way you think, engage people, carry yourself, your self esteem, any number of things. If you cant understand that, even my ability to rant on is not gonna help you get it. Some of the dorkiest, goofiest, ugliest people I've seen get dates, get married, etc. But, you.. you let "society" dictate your love life.

You dont like that answer, do you? Of course you dont. It's the truth, that's why. You need more soul searching than perhaps you can find on a message board.

Or you can always order Russian brides. They probably wont be so fussy.

[thetruthcomesout]

Originally Posted by Chowhound

Did someone break your little heart??

Do you care?

Originally Posted by Chowhound

Most women are delusional huh??

They expect men to meet the same criteria to become an FBI special agent, but they don't get the same salary, training, and federal benefits.

[miu]

Originally Posted by thetruthcomesout

LMFAO!!!!!

In other words he should settle for a homeless crackhead. I love how women think. If a dude is making $30,000 a year, he should settle for a woman who gets $200 a month from the welfare system. Once that welfare recipient gets a job at wal-mart earning minimum wage, she is too good for him and deserves a man who makes more than $30,000 a year.

Men should upgrade their skills or look for a hiring paying entry level job in order to buy more things for themselves and to put more money in savings. They aren't suppose to improve their situation in order to attract better women. Women hate being called derogatory names that relate to prostitution, but they put themselves in that situation.

This is why I laugh at folks who mock me for only dealing with real prostitutes. I might as well get the real deal than deal with a woman who acts like prostitute, but isn't willing to fulfill the complete role of a prostitute.

How do you get that from my post? If the O.P. only makes $20k a year, he should have a girlfriend that also makes $20K a year. Or if he is a student, he should date a fellow student.

If he's a 7 in looks, he should look for a girlfriend that is also a 7 in looks. Dating out of his league is only going to lead to frustration and lonely nights.

And nowhere did I suggest he date beneath him. If he makes $30K a year, of course he shouldn't date a crackhead chick collecting welfare...

[miu]

Originally Posted by yankeegirl313

Yes, hopefully if your in your 30`s, you will have developed some sort of concrete financial security, but this does not have to be a "factor" for women to make their final decision if they want to date you or not.
Great example! What about looks, attitude, having something in common, sense of humour, etc...??? Does this not reflect for a good reason to date someone, or is it, that some people, look deeper, for their own benefit?

If that is all a guy has to offer a woman, then they can just be platonic friends. Again, I am going by the O.P. being in his thirties and the single women his age having a ticking biological clock in regards to nesting. Why would women his own age want to waste their time casually dating a guy like him?

My advice would be different in the O.P. was in his early twenties and just starting out as an adult.

[mango tango]

Originally Posted by rlrl

i agree with you but you have to realize it's very difficult going on a date, facing someone new and having those past experiences stare you in the face while you're trying to make someone like you

If you have to try to make someone like you, then there's a problem. It's either there or it isn't (or it may show up later when you're not expecting it).

[wanderlust76]

Originally Posted by miu

How do you get that from my post? If the O.P. only makes $20k a year, he should have a girlfriend that also makes $20K a year. Or if he is a student, he should date a fellow student.

If he's a 7 in looks, he should look for a girlfriend that is also a 7 in looks. Dating out of his league is only going to lead to frustration and lonely nights.

And nowhere did I suggest he date beneath him. If he makes $30K a year, of course he shouldn't date a crackhead chick collecting welfare...

Originally Posted by miu

If that is all a guy has to offer a woman, then they can just be platonic friends. Again, I am going by the O.P. being in his thirties and the single women his age having a ticking biological clock in regards to nesting. Why would women his own age want to waste their time casually dating a guy like him?

My advice would be different in the O.P. was in his early twenties and just starting out as an adult.

I'll have to add one extra thought here - in this scenario it would be up to her in the end since I would possibly to be open to a relationship with her. My philosophy is to not judge someone soley by their yearly income, meaning I would date a woman with less, the same, or more money than me. But I see the stance you take you take the traditional stance that a man should make at least as much, or more, than his potential mate. Again this goes back to society and traditional gender roles which is why I mentioned society in my thread title. I wasn't blaming it or complaining bout it, I was just accepting it.
In a way maybe this is why men sometimes "should" go after younger women. At the stage in life I'm at technically I'm more like someone in their mid-20's. If you go by the whole stage in life compatibility there's no way I would ever be compatible with an older woman especially if she was well set into her career.