What do you do if society deems you as "not" being relationship material? (dating, married)

[wanderlust76]

I am having a hard time with this I would like to find a nice woman to spend time with and let it grow into a relationship. But most women my age are looking for someone that is really successful and already has a good paying job. I'm not at that point yet it my life and I don't have a house so should I just concentrate on basic dating and not worry about a long term relationship? If I just say I'm looking to date will I get labeled as one of those guys that is a serial date or a commitmentphobe? I'm not poor or broke I've never married and I don't have any kids but like I said most women probably don't consider someone in my position as relationship material. I'm in my early 30's and I assume I at least deserve some type of interaction with the opposite sex.

[mango tango]

Work on yourself, your career, your ambitions, your dreams, your interests, etc.

If you do this, the women will come. It is VERY attractive when a guy is enjoying and pursuing his life.

[GypsySoul22]

What about your other qualities? Do you volunteer at a homeless shelter or train puppies for Guide Dogs for the Blind or something besides " no having a nice job and money?"

What is your personality about? What do you do in your spare time that would make someone like you?

I remember when my friend (guy) met a women and she was a teacher in NYC and made okay money but he kept saying what attracted him to her was "She read to homeless kids in a shelter every weekend."

My friend is an attorney/accountant, a good looking guy and 6 years younger than this woman (who he married in 1993).

My point is you don't have to be rich or handsome to be 'relationship material.' Many women are NOT VACUOUS and NOT looking for a sugar daddy. Perhaps you need to find a nice quiet girl or someone 'not so interested' in material things.

These girls are out there. The point is, are you looking at 'the wrong women?'

[NotARedneck]

Originally Posted by mango tango

Work on yourself, your career, your ambitions, your dreams, your interests, etc.

Then listen to the hard luck stories from divorced men you meet and realize how lucky you are doing this for yourself.

[yankeegirl313]

Originally Posted by wanderlust76

I am having a hard time with this I would like to find a nice woman to spend time with and let it grow into a relationship. But most women my age are looking for someone that is really successful and already has a good paying job.

I say that if they are looking for someone who is really successful, and a good paying job, then I would tell them to "move on!"
There is more to life than money. Stability, responsible, etc..yes, but this?

[the minx]

I am really close to you in age and I wouldn't consider anything you wrote as a dealbreaker. It sounds like you probably have more doubt about yourself than women have about you. Look around you - there are plenty of people just scraping by financially who have relationships and are happy.

[Mark.Johnson]

Maybe you are trying too hard.
Try being less nice, women want what they can't have.

[thetruthcomesout]

I give society the middle finger, and don't date. It's that simple.

[yankeegirl313]

Originally Posted by thetruthcomesout

I give society the middle finger, and don't date. It's that simple.

Thats nice....

[thetruthcomesout]

Originally Posted by wanderlust76

I am having a hard time with this I would like to find a nice woman to spend time with and let it grow into a relationship. But most women my age are looking for someone that is really successful and already has a good paying job. I'm not at that point yet it my life and I don't have a house so should I just concentrate on basic dating and not worry about a long term relationship? If I just say I'm looking to date will I get labeled as one of those guys that is a serial date or a commitmentphobe? I'm not poor or broke I've never married and I don't have any kids but like I said most women probably don't consider someone in my position as relationship material. I'm in my early 30's and I assume I at least deserve some type of interaction with the opposite sex.

The women you dealt with want a man that has a "good paying job", because they're too lazy to put in work in order to pay their own way through life. Trust me dude, women don't give a crap about what you do for a living just as long as you are spending money on them. A woman will date a dude who distributes child pornography for a living just as long as he is buying her expensive gifts once a week. The reason why drug dealers have sexy women on their shoulders is because they have money. It doesn't matter if his issue hits on 12 year old drug dealers who are selling in his territory.

On the other end of spectrum, a woman will date a bum who doesn't want do anything in his life so she can control him and treat him like a little boy.

Most of the time it's one extreme or the other. Men who are in the lower middle class or barely making enough money to place them in the mid range middle class income bracket have the hardest time with attracting women. You can hit the weights at the gym and do endless hours of aerobics in order to stay in shape. The only thing a woman is going to do is keep you as around as the "gay friend with a good body" although you're a heterosexual.