I want to post something

[GLS]

Originally Posted by rlrl

but I don't know if i should do it here or on the work board.

It involves an extremely annoying woman on my job who is going for her master's and is trying to get herself into my good graces (and has failed clumsily and miserably in doing so for the past 5 years) to either have a personal relationship with me and/or drain me dry in terms of small talk leading to personal favors

I want nothing to do with this drama queen and she has been making my life miserable since she first started working at my company in 2004

I made a mistake in having lunch with her on the job 6 years ago when she started at our place. I had no interest in her even as a casual acquaintance because she's so demanding and i stupidly told her i was single and lived alone (I don't know why i did maybe because i considered her "safe" since i had no interest in her I thought i could be open and honest with her in telling her i was single i generally don't even talk to women on the job i do find attractive 'cause i'm shy and avoidant)

She's at least my age (48) but I suspect she may actually be older

She reminds me of the bitchy role actress Lee Grant played in Airport 1977 (remember with Jack Lemmon) and the follow up Airport movie in 1979 where that lady tried to sneak in a chihuahua dog under her blouse

She's inappropriatly sexual, has very poor boundaries and goes running to the boss whenever she does not get her needs met

it annoys her to no end that i do not take lunchbreaks when she and others take them and that i have litrle to no interest in making small talk. she often makes comments to me and i honestly don't know how to respond so i don't say anything. once she insinuated my lack of response was "harrassment" and interference with her rights

nobody likes her but i'm afraid one day she is going to pull a fast one on me

so where does this belong here on the relationships board or on the jobs board?

I want to try to learn how to relax ands see her charade for what is it, just an act

i don't have time for her or her crap

First, NEVER, EVER tell ANY woman you are "single and live alone" for ANY reason.

Second, discuss your problem with HR. Keep it short and ask them for advice. Let them know she has been "inappropriately sexual". Tell them you do not want to file a harassment suit, but you feel the potential is there in the future.

Third, in one of your other posts you try to distinguish harassment suits as coming from "action" vs "inaction". Truthfully, harassment suits come from "allegation", which can be used as a weapon. In short, it is possible to be 100% innocent, but be dragged over the coals if you are falsely accused.

Fourth, let your boss know you have discussed the problem with HR, and ask specifically to be relieved of the assignment of serving as her "field instructor".

Finally, you need to be more assertive and introspective with yourself. You have had five years to reflect upon your own actions and the bizarre response they elicit. For example you state, I just avoid her although i still say hello to her believe it or not. really tho i shouldn't be.
But this type of character takes a "hello" to mean "I do".

Well, the next time you make the decision to say "hello" to her, whatever happens is YOUR fault. Think about it.

[rlrl]

boss will be effective. Check them out

Now, why do you think a man should never tell a woman that he lives alone and is single? Surely you do not mean i will be stalked or robbed or raped by a woman right?!

Or do you mean don't do this because they will try to forge a relationship because they think i have time or $$ to burn(which is not true)?

[rlrl]

accused of "harrassment" (that is for staying in my office all day behind my computer so we can bill for services) don't you think i would have heard from HR or the boss by now?

you say "leverage". she can accuse me of harrassment unless i do what? tell me what it is she can get me to do so she won't accuse me of harrassment?

[rlrl]

when girls there half her age and more never pull this and think my work habits are awesome? the young girls think it's 'cute" and cool that a man doggedly type all day to crank out reports so the company can get paid

goes to show you age is no guarantee of maturity