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Old 05-27-2007, 07:16 PM
 
Location: Nashville, Tn
7,915 posts, read 18,578,503 times
Reputation: 5524

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I can remember when I was younger and it seemed like it wasn't all that difficult to meet women and I did have a few girlfriends but I never did get married. Now I'm 58 and even just meeting someone of the opposite sex who might be interested in having a meaningful relationship seems almost impossible. First, let me clarify a few things, I've always wanted to get married even when I was young so I'm not saying that I was just trying to have a sexual relationship. For whatever reason none of these relationships even came close to marriage. As I've gotten older the situation has slowly gotten worse and I almost feel like I have a better chance of winning the lottery than ever falling in love and having a real relationship. I notice that many people who are either divorced or never married seem to have the same problem. I know so many people who were married for a long time and now they've been single for years and I think they've just gotten into a rut like I have. I often feel like I've missed so much in life and it really can be depressing. Can any of you relate to getting older and being alone? How does a person of my age even go about trying to find companionship and intimacy?
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Old 05-27-2007, 07:25 PM
 
Location: Mississippi
3,927 posts, read 8,645,820 times
Reputation: 11418
Quote:
Originally Posted by MontanaGuy View Post
I can remember when I was younger and it seemed like it wasn't all that difficult to meet women and I did have a few girlfriends but I never did get married. Now I'm 58 and even just meeting someone of the opposite sex who might be interested in having a meaningful relationship seems almost impossible. First, let me clarify a few things, I've always wanted to get married even when I was young so I'm not saying that I was just trying to have a sexual relationship. For whatever reason none of these relationships even came close to marriage. As I've gotten older the situation has slowly gotten worse and I almost feel like I have a better chance of winning the lottery than ever falling in love and having a real relationship. I notice that many people who are either divorced or never married seem to have the same problem. I know so many people who were married for a long time and now they've been single for years and I think they've just gotten into a rut like I have. I often feel like I've missed so much in life and it really can be depressing. Can any of you relate to getting older and being alone? How does a person of my age even go about trying to find companionship and intimacy?

I am extremely interested in this answer as well. My brother in law is 50, never married and would love to be married, but he is shy which is holding him back.

Montanaguy, I know you are a good conversationalist, and I think you must look like a Robert Redford did at 58, so I guess all the ladies must be just plain nuts.

Just, don't think you have to be single to be getting older and being alone. Alone can mean a lot of things.

What hobbies do you like to do? Where do you like to go such as places around your area or state? What type clubs are you involved in? Do you live in town or rural?

Some of my neighbors who are around your age just got married and they met through school sports. You would not believe how many single people show up to support local teams.

One of our local alderwomen is single, and she also owns a pottery shop, many men frequent the shop and ask her out.

am still thinking..give me a bit to go on here.
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Old 05-27-2007, 07:59 PM
 
Location: Nashville, Tn
7,915 posts, read 18,578,503 times
Reputation: 5524
aiangel writer wrote:
Quote:
I am extremely interested in this answer as well.
Thanks for your positive thoughts. I'm kind of going through a transition period right now because I retired at the end of December in the Phoenix area and if I can ever sell my house I'm going to move to Nashville. I only wish I looked like a movie star but I appreciate the thought. It seems like people get set in their ways as they get older and I'm sure I'm no exception. Young people are open, friendly and very active about their sexual attractions. Anyway, if I was to list the most troubling problems in my life this would be at the top of the list. Thanks.
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Old 05-27-2007, 08:12 PM
 
Location: Old Town Alexandria
14,496 posts, read 26,517,064 times
Reputation: 8966
Good thread. I am getting divorced and although I am younger I do see that people are more set in their ways in general. I like to meet new people but where I live right now is very middle America- no walkable city, etc.

There are alot of people though, trying to meet (for friendship not just a one night stand) there are sites you can go on to meet people for friends - it isn't easy- I wonder what other ideas people have as far as ways to meet people....


sunny
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Old 05-27-2007, 08:40 PM
 
13,640 posts, read 24,425,540 times
Reputation: 18580
Okay, Montana, I assume you are very serious here, and as your friends we really would like to see you happy and in a relationship. I am older than you and married, so I am only here to advise, not to try to get you interested in me I think there may be someone right here who would very much like to get to know you better. That is where you need to start. You should try to add a little bit of personal information in some of your posts. In other words, take every opportunity to let everyone know more about your personality. Just from reading your postings, I like you very well, and I imagine there is someone here who is available and willing to get to know you. Have you ever posted your picture? You seem like a really nice person, and are very intelligent! Are you shy? Good luck Montana, and I really hope that you do find a companion. I have a feeling that you will be getting a few pm's this week
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Old 05-27-2007, 08:44 PM
 
Location: Mississippi
3,927 posts, read 8,645,820 times
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Well, Nashville is a hopping place. Have you ever lived in the South or been down here for any length of time?
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Old 05-27-2007, 11:09 PM
 
Location: Old Town Alexandria
14,496 posts, read 26,517,064 times
Reputation: 8966
Quote:
Originally Posted by MontanaGuy View Post
I can remember when I was younger and it seemed like it wasn't all that difficult to meet women and I did have a few girlfriends but I never did get married. Now I'm 58 and even just meeting someone of the opposite sex who might be interested in having a meaningful relationship seems almost impossible. First, let me clarify a few things, I've always wanted to get married even when I was young so I'm not saying that I was just trying to have a sexual relationship. For whatever reason none of these relationships even came close to marriage. As I've gotten older the situation has slowly gotten worse and I almost feel like I have a better chance of winning the lottery than ever falling in love and having a real relationship. I notice that many people who are either divorced or never married seem to have the same problem. I know so many people who were married for a long time and now they've been single for years and I think they've just gotten into a rut like I have. I often feel like I've missed so much in life and it really can be depressing. Can any of you relate to getting older and being alone? How does a person of my age even go about trying to find companionship and intimacy?
were you never married? You mentioned that for whatever reason, you never got married...perhaps that isnt what you have wanted? I have 2 uncles who never married; They are 65 now so probably never will. I assume that it was their choice.

Relationships take work. Give and take isn't easy. I have met some people who really have no desire for marriage; just my opinion but it is a choice.

sunny
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Old 05-27-2007, 11:27 PM
 
Location: Texas
8,672 posts, read 22,215,853 times
Reputation: 21364
Quote:
Originally Posted by MontanaGuy View Post
aiangel writer wrote:

Thanks for your positive thoughts. I'm kind of going through a transition period right now because I retired at the end of December in the Phoenix area and if I can ever sell my house I'm going to move to Nashville. I only wish I looked like a movie star but I appreciate the thought. It seems like people get set in their ways as they get older and I'm sure I'm no exception. Young people are open, friendly and very active about their sexual attractions. Anyway, if I was to list the most troubling problems in my life this would be at the top of the list. Thanks.
I am married, but I think I absolutely understand what you mean. It's easy when you're in college and everyone is mostly unattached. From the time you move out of that arena, it does get more difficult to be sure. I would just echo what aiangel_writer said about making sure you're out and about at various events. We didn't suggest church since we know your beliefs there. but that is a seriously good place for older adults to meet.

I would just encourage you though, as aiangel did. Just from chatting with you on the internet, you seem like a really nice, decent, funny, and INTELLECTUAL guy! Therefore, I would think there would be a LOT of women who are interested in finding that, no "movie star looks" required.
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Old 05-27-2007, 11:46 PM
 
Location: Monterey Bay, California -- watching the sea lions, whales and otters! :D
1,918 posts, read 6,770,869 times
Reputation: 2707
Hi MontanaGuy! You're not alone. I know a number of us here on C-D are in the same age range, and are also single/divorced.

I am your age and am just getting ready to start dating or seeing people again. I've spent the last 15 years raising my daughter to get her ready for college in a year. I have a few friends here that I hang out with, but I haven't pursued dating or tryng to meet people. Quite honestly, I'm not even sure how one goes about doing that at this age anymore.

I know some people here have met on the internet, and, of course, we know that Rance is rounding up the guys for some of the gals here!

I've followed your intelligent posts, and I'm just curious why Nashville? With your religious views, it may make it a bit tough to find someone compatible.

I have a few male friends who are this age, and they, too, have not married and would like a relationship, yet, they don't go out to meet people. I think the trick is to force yourself to go places, meet people, strike up conversations, and make yourself ask for phone numbers!

I've noticed that women tend to get involved in activities in which they can not only learn something new, but also meet people. I teach a very popular art class, "Drawing from the Right Side of the Brain," and it's always full. Interestingly, though, it's usually about 28 women and only 1 or 2 men!! Most of the women are in their 40s and 50s. So, they end up meeting other women friends, but I bet they'd love to have more men there! I've noticed that many women take classes, and they outnumber the men almost all the time (unless it's mechanics, or something).

Think about something new you'd like to learn, or something you'd like to get back into, and find some classes, or groups that offer those. I bet you'll find more women than men -- women are very social creatures, and it seems that they tend to gravitate to places where they can socialize.

Good luck, MontanaGuy. You seem like a nice guy, and once you get yourself out there, I'm sure you'll do fine!

Last edited by Wisteria; 05-28-2007 at 12:40 AM..
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Old 05-28-2007, 12:41 AM
 
Location: FL
1,316 posts, read 5,776,544 times
Reputation: 988
"How does a person of my age even go about trying to find companionship and intimacy?"
Gotta git your groove on!!! (see how soon do you become intimate thread )
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