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Unread 01-31-2010, 09:20 PM
 
Location: Revere, MA
287 posts, read 510,229 times
Reputation: 194
Default I don't want sex with my husband...what to do

I am so lost, I don't know what to do. I have stopped wanting sex with my husband because he makes no effort to make sure that I am satisfied from it anymore. It's not that he is not capable of it, because he most certainly is. We have discussed this, and he still makes no effort. We both want sex, that is not the problem. But I have become so turned off from his lack of effort for my behalf that it really makes me sick to my stomach to think about "doing it" with him. Literally, I feel like I am being used for sex. I am a very sexual person, and it really hurts me, because I feel like he has taken this desire away from me. What do I do?
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Unread 01-31-2010, 09:24 PM
 
3,584 posts, read 6,193,916 times
Reputation: 2436
Here's what I'd do (if I were a woman)...

Make him wait for it. And wait. And wait. Then, when he's begging and pouting like a wounded dog, set some nasty (but tasteful that ensure your full pleasure) guidelines and then go for it. Tease the hell out of him and make sure he understands why it's being done.

Here's a second thought... make him wait just a little, and then tell him you'll give in, but only if he gets tied up. Then, if you're creative enough, YOU can have your way with him and ensure your fullest pleasures are met.

Well, now isn't this just great. I was hoping to stay up late, but after this thread I have to take the wife to bed early. I'm mad at you.
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Unread 01-31-2010, 09:25 PM
 
Location: Bradenton, Florida
27,239 posts, read 23,788,600 times
Reputation: 10503
don't have sex...doesn't seem like a big dilemma
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Unread 01-31-2010, 09:27 PM
 
3,584 posts, read 6,193,916 times
Reputation: 2436
Quote:
Originally Posted by TKramar View Post
don't have sex...doesn't seem like a big dilemma
Unless you're under age 75.
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Unread 01-31-2010, 09:30 PM
 
79 posts, read 67,223 times
Reputation: 59
Selfish lovers are THE worst!! Sex in a marriage should be mutually satisfying. If he won't make the effort, get you a vibrator and get to work while he's laying there.
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Unread 01-31-2010, 09:32 PM
 
Location: Colorado Springs, CO
1,571 posts, read 3,073,364 times
Reputation: 1292
If this is a problem that you have tried to resolve - and there is no way to correct it.
It's time to move on.
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Unread 01-31-2010, 09:33 PM
 
Location: Bradenton, Florida
27,239 posts, read 23,788,600 times
Reputation: 10503
Quote:
Originally Posted by BLAZER PROPHET View Post
Unless you're under age 75.
I'm 40. I have no problems with an adult who makes a decision NOT to have sex. It's their body, after all, they have a right to do whatever they please.
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Unread 01-31-2010, 09:39 PM
 
3,261 posts, read 2,505,921 times
Reputation: 3874
Quote:
Originally Posted by BLAZER PROPHET View Post
Here's what I'd do (if I were a woman)...

Make him wait for it. And wait. And wait. Then, when he's begging and pouting like a wounded dog, set some nasty (but tasteful that ensure your full pleasure) guidelines and then go for it. Tease the hell out of him and make sure he understands why it's being done.
As a woman, I disagree - It could lead to an even greater cycle of resentment and distance.

If he has satisfied you in the past, but now has gotten "lazy", then initiate it yourself. Do something sexy, unexpected. Tell him, show him what you want him to do to you and don't satisfy him until he has satisfied you first. It's worth a try. The easiest answer is to say get out.
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Unread 01-31-2010, 09:41 PM
 
Location: Revere, MA
287 posts, read 510,229 times
Reputation: 194
Blazerprophet-thanks, I may try this. And yes, it is a big dilemma if A-your life partner should have a desire to satisfy you. B-I said I'm a sexual person. So sex is not something I can live without. I can take a hiatus if absolutely necessary. But even that has to come to an end. Believe me, I have been "self sufficent" for awhile now. But one can only take so much of that.
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Unread 01-31-2010, 09:42 PM
 
5,148 posts, read 1,436,497 times
Reputation: 2865
Is everything the same as it always was...if ya know what I mean?
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