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Old 02-03-2010, 01:26 PM
 
1,860 posts, read 3,635,794 times
Reputation: 1395

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(Hypothetical scenario, but the Roger & Janet incident is all true.)

Suppose you meet and befriend, and then begin dating, "Roger." Roger seems nice enough, and he actually helped you with a headache errand early on in your friendship-turned-dating relationship. He was sincere, and really gave you a hand.

You and Roger talk a lot, start dating, and things go well.

You and Roger haven't slept yet; heck, you two are not even officially BF/GF, but you like Roger a lot and he likes you back too, and it's got potential for something long-term. Roger is clean, presentable, moderately handsome, owns his own pad, has a stable job, has a car, etc.

Now, you catch up with an oldtime girlfriend who is one of your closer GFs. As you tell "Janet" about Roger, Janet realizes she knows Roger.

About 1 1/2 - 2 years ago, Roger and Janet were introduced by mutual friends. One day Roger had called Janet casually to hang out, and Janet finally had time. So they went out alone, not a date per se, but they ended up at a romantic, beautiful bar. They drank, got acquainted, and the conversation flowed well, and Roger expressed interest in Janet for future dates, and Janet was OK with that.

Then Roger got drunk, and kissed Janet out of the blue. Janet, whether out of surprise, fear, alcohol, doesn't fight him off and just goes along. Perhaps Janet liked it, but doesn't admit it.

Roger takes Janet home, walks her in but promises he'd leave, and he does, but before he does, he kisses her again and they make out heavily for several more minutes.

Roger then wants to take Janet out again, but Janet backs off, refusing to take his calls. Roger realizes the error of his ways and asks for a chance to meet Janet simply to apologize, but Janet won't even do that. Finally, Roger and Janet go their own ways, until Roger runs into Janet months later. Janet ignores Roger, but Roger approaches Janet and sincerely apologizes to Janet. Janet says, "ah, don't worry about it." They exchange some small talk, go their separate ways, and never see each other again, and there is no further contact between them at all after this.

How would you have felt if Janet told you all this?

Last edited by Sprawling_Homeowner; 02-03-2010 at 02:04 PM..
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Old 02-03-2010, 01:35 PM
 
Location: Incognito
7,002 posts, read 17,414,522 times
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I would have accepted the apology and go about my business. Obviously what happened in the past was nice but not enough to rekindle.
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Old 02-03-2010, 01:38 PM
 
Location: in the good ol' South
865 posts, read 1,959,522 times
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That Janet is an idiot, and shouldn't be out drinking with guys she doesn't know. If they "made out", then he wasn't "attacking" her any more than she was him.

Hey, I'm a woman, and
1. I can't blame him for trying
2. I would NEVER put myself in a situation where something serious, like rape, could happen

He called her again to go out with her. What is the problem here? Maybe she's jealous?
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Old 02-03-2010, 01:40 PM
 
25,948 posts, read 24,329,634 times
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WTH? How does the word 'attack' come into the picture - a little false adverting in that thread title there OP.
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Old 02-03-2010, 01:46 PM
 
Location: N of citrus, S of decent corn
30,566 posts, read 38,126,375 times
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Totally a non-issue. I think he acted like any normal male, and Janet really was at fault for leaving herself open for his advances, and then overreacting.
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Old 02-03-2010, 01:47 PM
 
Location: In my skin
8,394 posts, read 12,988,889 times
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I see no sign of an attack.

She should know better than to drink heavily with someone she barely knows. I would not have allowed him into my home.

She didn't fight him off the first time he kissed her, maybe he thought it was okay to try again. I don't blame him. He did leave like he said he would. So, I wouldn't have a problem with him, based on this story.
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Old 02-03-2010, 01:55 PM
 
8,416 posts, read 32,826,161 times
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I would feel Janet needed to loosen up. I can't stand girls that do one thing and then say another. SO she would probably a rather causal friend with that type of personallity.

And then I would probably talk to Rog about it and laugh our butts off at that cold fish, who acts like a highschooler, in the adult dating world. Followed by a good razzing about "why wasn't I attacked? What am I chop liver here?" ~Jaggle waggle the boobs in humorous fashion.~ Cha cha boom chacha cha bwah..chachacha boom.☺
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Old 02-03-2010, 01:59 PM
 
Location: Pittsburgh
19,365 posts, read 20,165,774 times
Reputation: 38461
Quote:
You and Roger talk a lot, start dating, and things go well.

You and Roger haven't slept yet; heck, you two are not even officially BF/GF, but you like Roger a lot and he likes you back too, and it's got potential for something long-term. Roger is clean, presentable, moderately handsome, owns his own pad, has a stable job, has a car, etc.

Now, you catch up with an oldtime girlfriend who is one of your closer GFs. As you tell "Janet" about Roger, Janet realizes she knows Roger.

About 1 1/2 - 2 years ago, Roger and Janet were introduced by mutual friends. One day Roger had called Janet casually to hang out, and Janet finally had time. So they went out alone, not a date per se, but they ended up at a romantic, beautiful bar. They drank, got acquainted, and the conversation flowed well, and Roger expressed interest in Janet for future dates, and Janet was OK with that.

Then Roger got drunk, and kissed Janet out of the blue. Janet, whether out of surprise, fear, alcohol, doesn't fight him off and just goes along. Perhaps Janet liked it, but doesn't admit it.

Roger takes Janet home, walks her in but promises he'd leave, and he does, but before he does, he kisses her again and they make out heavily for several more minutes.

Roger then wants to take Janet out again, but Janet backs off, refusing to take his calls. Roger realizes the error of his ways and asks for a chance to meet Janet simply to apologize, but Janet won't even do that. Finally, Roger and Janet go their own ways, until Roger runs into Janet months later. Janet ignores Roger, but Roger approaches Janet and sincerely apologizes to Janet. Janet says, "ah, don't worry about it." They exchange some small talk, go their separate ways, and never see each other again, and there is no further contact between them at all after this.
Is this Roger's version of what happened, or Janet's?

Since Janet's my friend I'd want to make sure that she cut Roger off because she felt foolish or something, and not that she thought he was a creep.

Last edited by fleetiebelle; 02-03-2010 at 02:11 PM..
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Old 02-03-2010, 02:00 PM
 
1,860 posts, read 3,635,794 times
Reputation: 1395
Quote:
Originally Posted by Thursday007 View Post
WTH? How does the word 'attack' come into the picture - a little false adverting in that thread title there OP.
I wanted to catch your attention.
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Old 02-03-2010, 02:04 PM
 
1,860 posts, read 3,635,794 times
Reputation: 1395
Quote:
Originally Posted by fleetiebelle View Post
Is this Roger's version of what happened, or Janet's?
Roger's, but the attempts to apologize by phone, and finally, the face-to-face apology did happen.

A few more details.

Roger left his engine running when he walked Janet indoors, to prove that he would not stay long. When they "made out," they didn't grind or go to the couch - they just stood there and kissed, but it was heavy kissing initiated by Roger. At no time did Janet verbally protest or push him off; in fact, at one point, Janet actually caressed Roger's head as they kissed.

What finally evoked a reaction from Janet was when Roger, in the middle of the heavy kissing, picked up Janet and carried her to the couch, but as soon as he had her on the couch, he tripped and fell flat-assed on the floor. Janet then said, "OK. You need to go home now." So Roger stood up, and walked to the front door, and Janet opened the door to see him off... but not before Roger kissed her one last time, again, without protests from Janet.
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