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Old 02-04-2010, 07:26 PM
 
Location: Kuwait City, Kuwait.
1,125 posts, read 1,228,635 times
Reputation: 1014

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Quote:
Originally Posted by Djuna View Post
Do guys not think that women don't have an issue with other women as well?

I have stopped counting all the times I have been back stabbed and gossiped about, but I don't go around hating all women. I suck it up and learn to be a bit more discerning about whom I befriend.
Indeed. People get done over by people on daily basis. Our family home has been burgled 3 times in the space of 4 months, and each time it was a bunch of white guys who done us over. I can't go on a tirade hating and being racist towards white boys, because it is wrong and it's illogical.

As people already said, women vent their frustration off line with all their girlfriends and what do you have it. Men don't have the benefit of such a close knitted network and support like women have. It's unfortunate, but such is life. Coming online anonymously to vent their frustration, rightly or wrongly, is perhaps their only options. Either way, it's tiresome.
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Old 02-04-2010, 07:35 PM
 
19,081 posts, read 12,344,760 times
Reputation: 13233
Quote:
Originally Posted by solytaire View Post
I suspect that most men on here who really engage in hardcore complaining are a bit 'touched' mentally in some way or another...I know Ive been through some ups and downs in relationships...some things were my fault, and somethings I refuse to accept fault for.
Yes, it seems to be the case from where I sit.

Quote:
But I wouldnt call participating on these message boards nutty...its just an activity that passes the time. I find that it can be entertaining, and educational sometimes.
That's how I feel as well. I do learn on line. Debates force me to research, and then I enjoy the drama lol. Still, tho, I'm the only one in my net work that does it (that I know of, who knows).

Quote:
See this is what I believe happens: Over the course of our lives we have different interactions with people.. We will have certain people with whom we have positive interactions, and others with whom we have negative interactions...now, what I see as the kicker, is that people here really arent generalizing...I think they're averaging. I think they are taking the amount of positive experiences they have with women, and comparing them to the negative experiences they have had with women, and then I think they come up with an average interpretation of those experiences. And then they say in their mind "The AVERAGE woman...blah blah blah" Now what I notice is that not all people want to factor how they themselves are playing into the negative experiences they have with women.
Personal responsibility is a foreign concept for some. The net is also vulnerable to goofy hyperbole. I'm not sure if that's the best environment for healing communication.
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Old 02-04-2010, 07:35 PM
 
Location: Arlington, VA
5,412 posts, read 1,305,143 times
Reputation: 916
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dorrans View Post
Indeed. People get done over by people on daily basis. Our family home has been burgled 3 times in the space of 4 months, and each time it was a bunch of white guys who done us over. I can't go on a tirade hating and being racist towards white boys, because it is wrong and it's illogical.

As people already said, women vent their frustration off line with all their girlfriends and what do you have it. Men don't have the benefit of such a close knitted network and support like women have. It's unfortunate, but such is life. Coming online anonymously to vent their frustration, rightly or wrongly, is perhaps their only options. Either way, it's tiresome.
and there are also TV networks for women devoted to this as well.. The media always portrays men as idiots, and women as innocent angels and victims. Men really have no outlet. You go here, you're told you're whining. You do this to your friends, you're told you're whining. About the only thing you could do is see ashrink, and pay the shrink to tell you you are whining. Whining is socially acceptable for women, and not for men.
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Old 02-04-2010, 07:36 PM
 
5,148 posts, read 1,782,346 times
Reputation: 2865
Come on dude you realize there is Spike TV right? And that most TV is geared towards a male age 18-49. Why the hell do I fall into this trap?
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Old 02-04-2010, 07:37 PM
 
12,660 posts, read 8,289,984 times
Reputation: 4727
Quote:
Originally Posted by Braunwyn View Post


I don't see female career women on this forum complaining about men, male bashing, etc ad nauseum. Maybe I just miss those threads. I think this forum is comprised of some great women.

Hi Braunwyn,

There are some decent women on this forum. There are also one's lacking in a rudimentary grace. Many of them can be depended upon to always favor the female side of an argument. There is lots of male bashing; its simply not at the pitch of a frequency that you tend to hear. Its not aimed at you. I surmise it to be quite equal. It also tends not to bother me, and I really have no stake in it.
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Old 02-04-2010, 07:38 PM
 
Location: Sunset Mountain
1,385 posts, read 1,899,357 times
Reputation: 1299
Quote:
Originally Posted by betamanlet View Post
and there are also TV networks for women devoted to this as well.. The media always portrays men as idiots, and women as innocent angels and victims. Men really have no outlet. You go here, you're told you're whining. You do this to your friends, you're told you're whining. About the only thing you could do is see ashrink, and pay the shrink to tell you you are whining. Whining is socially acceptable for women, and not for men.
Oh stop your whining......
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Old 02-04-2010, 07:45 PM
 
Location: southern california
49,802 posts, read 46,891,519 times
Reputation: 41034
Quote:
Originally Posted by Djuna View Post
Do guys not think that women don't have an issue with other women as well?

I have stopped counting all the times I have been back stabbed and gossiped about, but I don't go around hating all women. I suck it up and learn to be a bit more discerning about whom I befriend.
yes there are good women on CDF that take exception to bad female behavior. i am so appreciative of them. it keeps me running. a desert plant only needs a little moisure to keep going.
thank you good women.
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Old 02-04-2010, 07:49 PM
 
19,081 posts, read 12,344,760 times
Reputation: 13233
Quote:
Originally Posted by gwynedd1 View Post
Hi Braunwyn,

There are some decent women on this forum. There are also one's lacking in a rudimentary grace. Many of them can be depended upon to always favor the female side of an argument. There is lots of male bashing; its simply not at the pitch of a frequency that you tend to hear. Its not aimed at you. I surmise it to be quite equal. It also tends not to bother me, and I really have no stake in it.
I'm not seeing it. Tho, maybe it is a matter of pitch.
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Old 02-04-2010, 08:04 PM
 
12,660 posts, read 8,289,984 times
Reputation: 4727
Quote:
Originally Posted by solytaire View Post
All true, but I really think that the internet is going to be the place where men who seek to bítch about women will convene...whereas, mainstream and television media has always been the place where women go to complain about men. Thats just the way it is and the way it always will be imo.

Because in reality, these men could never bítch this much in reality, without being dismissed and belittled by society as just being bítchy little weaklings...they would never have a voice in reality. Men have tried to complain in reality and on television, and they are quickly dismissed by both women and other men as being weak, complainers with illegitimate concerns.

Obviously here they have found a voice...although they will likely still be dismissed as weaklings here also, a few people actually do pay attention...they may not be in any position to change anything, but some people do pay attention...fortunately for fellas like me though, I can find refuge in other online male groups designed for disgruntled whiny men.

Its something that women have mastered and have been doing for decades if not centuries, and its believed to be one of the reasons why women have been more well balanced as human beings than men. Women have always had a venue to communicate their concerns/discontent, to both one another, and/or to men. I think men are just now realizing that they dont have to just "suck it up" anymore...it will be beneficial for us all in the end, I believe..
Hi solytaire,

Hard to say. Men seem to me to be potential societies and women rally to the ones who succeed. Such networks are like passing ships and Morse code.

I really don't know what to do so well with niceness and understanding. Even basking in the glow of approbation is taken in a left handed grasp. It is clumsier than the natural right hand, not as easy to handle, not a known opponent but rather an unexplained quiet. To whine and receive pity is to clasp a tea cup with my toes.
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Old 02-04-2010, 08:34 PM
 
3,424 posts, read 3,427,665 times
Reputation: 1774
Quote:
Originally Posted by gwynedd1 View Post
Hi solytaire,

Hard to say. Men seem to me to be potential societies and women rally to the ones who succeed. Such networks are like passing ships and Morse code.

I really don't know what to do so well with niceness and understanding. Even basking in the glow of approbation is taken in a left handed grasp. It is clumsier than the natural right hand, not as easy to handle, not a known opponent but rather an unexplained quiet. To whine and receive pity is to clasp a tea cup with my toes.

I understand..for some, whining and receiving pity/consideration while seeking success and sustenance of dignity is a delicate balancing act which simply comes unnatural to them...this is true for many people, however for many others, whining and pity has proven to work miracles.

It has before, forced those who do hold both compassion and leverage to actually attend to the concerns of those who whine. I think the expression of and communication of deficiencies in our culture, whether perceived deficiencies or actual deficiencies, always merit evaluation. From an actuary's perspective, it would be the only way to prevent society from devolving into those festering cabals of vengeful people with mirrored discontent. The Tea Partiers, for example, were mocked and dismissed..by myself included. Now their interests are certainly acknowledged. Sometimes the best way preempt mass destruction of happiness is to evaluate the merit of what some individuals are communicating as obstructions to their own.

It is inevitable: as people continue to express their dismay, existing social order will be ceded to temper that dismay. Some call it politics.
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