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Do you mean on here or on one of the dating sites? I'm just curious about how many emails women get on the dating sites. If women get that many in one day it just seems like it's a pointless venue for a guy unless you're Brad Pitt. It seems like women have too many options on the dating sites and it's almost impossible for a guy to stand out or get noticed.
Yes it' very hard to get a reply back from a cute girl unless you are on craglist. I recommend craiglist because your ad has no photo and women reply to you solely on what you are saying rather than what you look like. 90% of my dates have come from craiglist for that reason
I would like to address your comment about the "white collar career professional women that only wanted a guy that fit that same mold." I get the impression that you feel well-educated women career women are somehow holding themselves above you "average guys." I don't believe that is the case however I do think that what these women are looking for are men who have a similar intellect and similar tastes. I know that personally I would not have much in common with a guy whose favorite passtime is following NASCAR or hanging out at bars drinking beer. Also, very career-driven women (and also men) don't have much leisure time and can't always make time for social activities at the drop of a hat. And lastly, most well-educated women (and men) would like to know that the people they do choose to spend time with will have common topics of conversation. I love discussing politics and wines and would like people I spend time with to find such topics enjoyable. These are but a few of the reasons that many online daters have stated preferences for the kinds of partners they're seeking - not to make themselves feel superior but rather to find people with whom they have common traits and interests.
I'm not going to really agree with either you or Wanderlust, but I can tell you my perspective: Maybe I have "typical normal guy" interests and hobbies like watching sports, playing sports, going to bars with friends that I participate in often, but that doesn't mean I'd be opposed to new things. A lot of people say they're open to trying new things but I think people dismiss the statement, and assume that if they don't say in their profile "loves museums, history, books" means that they aren't open to it.
I am a very open person, I really do like trying new things, but my personality, career, and social group has only really given me options for sports and bars lately. It's not easy to drag a friend to a museum or something different if they aren't into it. That's why I wish I could find a woman who was interested in different hobbies than me, I'd love an opportunity to experience them with someone who enjoys them. But I get the feeling that because it's not in my profile and I don't do alot of it, then I must not like it and it's assumed I'll just try to push my interests of sports and bars onto whoever I'm dating. Just because so many others fall short in this area it is assumed I will too?
I don't know, I write the funny emails when I find something funny to write about. Still dont get responses. Maybe I'm just not funny.
I'm not going to really agree with either you or Wanderlust, but I can tell you my perspective: Maybe I have "typical normal guy" interests and hobbies like watching sports, playing sports, going to bars with friends that I participate in often, but that doesn't mean I'd be opposed to new things. A lot of people say they're open to trying new things but I think people dismiss the statement, and assume that if they don't say in their profile "loves museums, history, books" means that they aren't open to it.
I am a very open person, I really do like trying new things, but my personality, career, and social group has only really given me options for sports and bars lately. It's not easy to drag a friend to a museum or something different if they aren't into it. That's why I wish I could find a woman who was interested in different hobbies than me, I'd love an opportunity to experience them with someone who enjoys them. But I get the feeling that because it's not in my profile and I don't do alot of it, then I must not like it and it's assumed I'll just try to push my interests of sports and bars onto whoever I'm dating. Just because so many others fall short in this area it is assumed I will too?
I don't know, I write the funny emails when I find something funny to write about. Still dont get responses. Maybe I'm just not funny.
Don't try to be funny in emails just wait until the phone convo
You know what, reading these responses is making me start to think I'm just looking in the wrong area. I live downtown Chicago, but I don't have a vehcile (you don't need one), so I've been setting my searches to a 5 or 10 mile radius. Now if you saw the part of town I'm in (Lincoln Park, Old Town, Gold Coast) it's kind of a snobby, materialistic part of town, and the women I'm probably emailing are just that.
In bold is exactly what I write in my emails. I never say anything creepy, I never mention any looks (maybe a couple times I mentioned I thought they had a nice smile, but that's it), I try to comment on something about their profile like interestes, where they're from, hobbies, sports teams, etc and I ask them a question or two about it, or I mention something about myself that fits a similiar trait or interest. But lately I get ZERO emails back. I know they read them, they look at my profile, but I get no response. Again, I know I'm not brad pitt, and EP says I'm not ugly or anything, says my pictures are cool, and he even critiqued/reviewed my profile and gave it the okay.
Maybe I'll try emailing women out in the suburbs or something cuz this online dating thing got old when no one responds to you. Maybe I should even try out of state? Thoughts?
Oh, yeah, you're really limiting yourself there! I don't have any "distance" restrictions on mine. LOL, I didn't even know you could do that! And I will say that I've gotten a lot of responses from guys outside the major cities. In fact, I've gotten more responses from men in different cities nearby than I have in my own. That makes sense because those cities are larger than mine and more isolated, too.
Do you mean on here or on one of the dating sites? I'm just curious about how many emails women get on the dating sites. If women get that many in one day it just seems like it's a pointless venue for a guy unless you're Brad Pitt. It seems like women have too many options on the dating sites and it's almost impossible for a guy to stand out or get noticed.
I meant on the dating sites. Oh my, my email has been flooded these past two days. I kid you not, I've gotten close to 50 new emails just since YESTERDAY! I'm figuring it's the "Valentine's rush?"
I take a brief look at all of them, though not so much now because I've met someone. But the only ones that I instantly deleted in the past were from the weirdos whose site names included sexual innuendo or who were too old for me. Oh, and those whose pics were unappealing.
Pics taken in the bathroom or in the car (why do they do that?), pics showing excessive skin (sorry, but one of my rules is never to date a man with bigger boobs than I have!), and otherwise weird photos got an instant delete from me.
You mean the other guy was cuter, it's ok to say that-lol
It really wasn't that! Both are nice-looking in different ways but they have VERY different personalities/attributes. One is very creative and talented in artistic endeavors without college degrees. Very laid-back and open. He appealed to my free-spirited and creative side. The other is very well educated and professional, but with a great wit and sense of humor. He appealed to my intellectual side. Both own their own businesses. In talking with them, I felt more of a connection with the well-educated guy.
I would like to address your comment about the "white collar career professional women that only wanted a guy that fit that same mold." I get the impression that you feel well-educated women career women are somehow holding themselves above you "average guys." I don't believe that is the case however I do think that what these women are looking for are men who have a similar intellect and similar tastes. I know that personally I would not have much in common with a guy whose favorite passtime is following NASCAR or hanging out at bars drinking beer. Also, very career-driven women (and also men) don't have much leisure time and can't always make time for social activities at the drop of a hat. And lastly, most well-educated women (and men) would like to know that the people they do choose to spend time with will have common topics of conversation. I love discussing politics and wines and would like people I spend time with to find such topics enjoyable. These are but a few of the reasons that many online daters have stated preferences for the kinds of partners they're seeking - not to make themselves feel superior but rather to find people with whom they have common traits and interests.
Are you trying to prove my point? First of all I don't consider myself average just because I'm not a "white collar professional with a Ph.D., I guess you do though going by how you worded your post. How do you know if a guy likes all these things you mention? You're doing exactly what I said the women on eharmony did, you're assuming to know what a guy likes, how smart he is, or what his hobbies are going just by what he does for a living or how high of an education he has. So if a guy doesn't have a Master's degree or higher he must just sit around drinking beer watching Nascar? Are you taking the position that just because a guy doesn't have a certain type of job or a certain type of college degree he might not like to read or discuss politics? I think you proved my point about women I was matched up with on eharmony but I don't even think you realized it.
Last edited by wanderlust76; 02-11-2010 at 11:36 AM..
I meant on the dating sites. Oh my, my email has been flooded these past two days. I kid you not, I've gotten close to 50 new emails just since YESTERDAY! I'm figuring it's the "Valentine's rush?"
I take a brief look at all of them, though not so much now because I've met someone. But the only ones that I instantly deleted in the past were from the weirdos whose site names included sexual innuendo or who were too old for me. Oh, and those whose pics were unappealing.
Pics taken in the bathroom or in the car (why do they do that?), pics showing excessive skin (sorry, but one of my rules is never to date a man with bigger boobs than I have!), and otherwise weird photos got an instant delete from me.
Any Guy who is emailing you today hoping for a Valentine's Day Date needs to be in a mental institution.
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I'm figuring it's the "Valentine's rush?"
