beta female? (guys, mistress, personalities, percentage)

[mango tango]

Originally Posted by sierraAZ

Aaaww, what's gotten into you...?! Are ya in love or something?



Well, what's the difference between "no" and considering this person "out of your league" really...? Or did you mean "out of your league" as being unattainable? Or is the phrase only used in the latter case?

I was thinking about actual "leagues," like there's league A, league B, league C, and so on, and people in league B can't date people in league A. Maybe I've just been reading too much about dystopias lol. I guess it would be kind of like the numbers thing in relation to physical attractiveness except I suppose the league would encompass the person as a whole. Ack, even I don't know what I'm talking about anymore. My original point was that I find it silly to classify people into literal leagues (like the Gammas can't date the Alphas and etc.)

[mrstewart]

Beta fish

[Ceece]

I don't know but I'm getting pretty tired of this "beta" crap.

[Randomstudent]

Originally Posted by mango tango

Did you know the guy saw people lol?

Not before I looked him up to read about him.

[solytaire]

Originally Posted by Ceece

I don't know but I'm getting pretty tired of this "beta" crap.

you...?

pshhh...compared to all of these beta babblers, I feel like an "alpha"....shít, I didnt know anyone could make this many excuses for their failures.

[crbcrbrgv]

Seeing that I am hung like a VHS, I could never date a Beta female.

[DennyCrane]

This whole stuff about leagues and scores is just lame. I don't look at people and assign a number. Either I'm attracted to them or I'm not. If you start giving out scores, then you'll never be satisfied cause you'll always be wondering if you could do a little better. I landed a 7? Cool. But I wonder if I can land a 7.5.

People need to have realistic expectations. I don't think people like betamale are necessarily going after people he has no chance with. They may very well find him attractive, that is until his insecurity comes through. People come up with all kinds of excuses to cope with rejection. It's easier to declare the game rigged or label women as being "messed in the head" than admit something you're doing might be turning people off. The same is true of women who declare that all men are jerks.

samston made an excellent point about the difference between extroversion and confidence. There are plenty of introverts who have high self-confidence. Likewise, there are plenty of extroverts whose outgoing nature actually hides their low self-esteem. I've dated women like this. They're very outgoing, but when you get to know them, you discover they have tons of insecurities. A promiscuous woman is a perfect example of this seeming contradiction. She seems like someone with a lot of confidence, but in most cases, she's sleeping with all these men to feel wanted.

Originally Posted by Randomstudent

Now if you are with a group of say 4 other guys chances are the 4 other guys are going to go for the more attractive one. So you could either vie for 1/5 of the attention from the really attractive one or get all the attention from the less attractive, but still attractive one.

You just described the scene from A Beautiful Mind where John Nash makes a breakthrough in game theory. He realizes that 4 guys going after the one blond will cancel each other out. So their best bet is to go after the remaining 4 brunettes.

[le roi]

Originally Posted by mango tango

I was thinking about actual "leagues," like there's league A, league B, league C, and so on, and people in league B can't date people in league A. Maybe I've just been reading too much about dystopias lol. I guess it would be kind of like the numbers thing in relation to physical attractiveness except I suppose the league would encompass the person as a whole. Ack, even I don't know what I'm talking about anymore. My original point was that I find it silly to classify people into literal leagues (like the Gammas can't date the Alphas and etc.)

I find it interesting that people have such an aversion to discussing this, and I wonder why. It definitely seems to be the men who are most interested in the topic, perhaps because a place at the bottom of the social strata has huge consequences when it comes to finding a mate.

My point is that these "leagues" and "pecking orders" persist in human societies whether we talk about them or not.

[sierraAZ]

Originally Posted by rubber_factory

You know, I find it interesting that people have such an aversion to discussing 'the pecking order', or grouping people's behavior into alphas and betas. I used to have a similar distaste for the whole concept. I had the naive idea that the pecking order didn't matter, that it was crude and I was more sophisticated than that, so I was just going to sidestep its boundaries entirely. Unfortunately, reality never went along with my ideas.

Me, too. I get tired of the endless threads about it, but I've never denied the premise itself. Same with looks - call me shallow all you want to, looks do matter to me quite a bit! "Quite a bit" being I'm not going to explore personality unless I'm attracted, PC or not, period! And I'm not going to "give chances" to bums, period! And I also know some men are out of my reach just like I'm out of others' reach! It's as simple as that!

Online things are somewhat different - I may be very taken by somebody's mind and that can totally affect my perception of his looks later. Granted, my method doesn't have good track history and may never do, but it is what it is.

[le roi]

Originally Posted by sierraAZ

Me, too. I get tired of the endless threads about it, but I've never denied the premise itself. Same with looks - call me shallow all you want to, looks do matter to me quite a bit! "Quite a bit" being I'm not going to explore personality unless I'm attracted, PC or not, period! And I'm not going to "give chances" to bums, period! And I also know some men are out of my reach just like I'm out of others' reach! It's as simple as that!

Online things are somewhat different - I may be very taken by somebody's mind and that can totally affect my perception of his looks later. Granted, my method doesn't have good track history and may never do, but it is what it is.

Well, my thinking is that MEN are better off recognizing this 'pecking order', and using it to our respective advantages. Pretending we don't see it, doesn't make it go away, especially at younger ages.

As a man, these 'pecking orders' are important, since you have to operate within some social framework. A man's confidence (or lack of it) is most evident through the interactions with his peers. My experience is that men and women rarely pay attention outside existing social hierarchies.

As it relates to women, I know a variety of girls my age who say they want one thing, and date an entirely different sort of person. It is almost as if they can't come to grips with their instinct, and they feel guilty for being attracted to the men they are attracted to. Last night, I witnessed the embarassment and guilt and cover-ups of a very attractive female friend who is dating a blatantly bold jerk. She knows she has options, and she knows good and well that she is living the stereotype by choosing a wealthy man who orders her around. I can't even begin to relate to this type of thinking, but it is garden-variety.