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To be honest I don't know if this is a bad thing or not, but I do find it a little disconcerting. It seems that the older I get the more quickly and easily I develop feelings for certain women. Uh oh...does that mean I'm desperate? I hope not LOL!
I did say "certain women" not ALL women.
When I was younger I would pick out the hottest girl I could find and unless her personality reminded me of a horror movie I would try to work around it. Needless to say I ended up going out with girls who were shall we say...less than stable. But hey, at least they were a lot of fun to look at
How things have changed. These days it takes almost nothing for a physically beautiful woman to totally ruin my opinion of her. Naturally I still find an attractive woman attractive, and I'd love to find the 'whole package' embodied in one person. But the reality is 9 times out of 10 things go downhill the moment a pretty girl opens her mouth. Maybe it's just me but it seems that if you're blessed with good genes, you should be able to find FEWER things to complain about, not MORE.
That aside. Especially over the last year or so I find myself rapidly falling for or developing an interest in women who I have little or no physical attraction to. Women I initially find 'ugly' or at the very least, plain. But they display certain personality traits....namely:
They're positive about themselves, about others, and about life in general. They're kind and considerate to everyone around them. We share a similar sense of humor. Similar beliefs. Similar goals. They're emotionally stable and easy going. They're friendly and outgoing but not aggressive or interested in being the center of attention. Open about sharing their thoughts and feelings, but neither opinionated or needing to always be right.
All of that is good and I'm fine with it. But one thing does make me wonder and that's the speed at which I become interested in pursuing more than friendship with these women. It's almost like I've traded one infatuation for another. I used to 'fall for' a girl's looks, now I 'fall for' their personality, but either way it may be based on only superficial observations.
Case-in-point. A few weeks ago I met this girl. Not good looking by any stretch of my imagination, but after spending about 3 hours with her I decided it was great meeting her and said as much, and so did she. This week I ran into her again and spent another couple of hours with her. Once again enjoyed her company very much, of course because she displayed many of the traits I listed above.
BUT is 5 hours anywhere near enough time to have your interest legitimately piqued in someone? Somehow I think not, I think I'm being silly. But at the same time I think... she's nice, why would I NOT like her and want to see her again?
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I don't think 5 hours is too short a time to develop an interest in someone and it doesn't mean you've fallen in love...maybe just smitten. By all means, ask her out and spend more time with her.
I don't think 5 hours is too short a time to develop an interest in someone and it doesn't mean you've fallen in love...maybe just smitten. By all means, ask her out and spend more time with her.
... is 5 hours anywhere near enough time to have your interest legitimately piqued in someone? Somehow I think not, I think I'm being silly. But at the same time I think... she's nice, why would I NOT like her and want to see her again?
Of course 5 hours is enough time to decide if you're interested in someone. For me, 5 minutes would be. When I first met my wife I told her I could give her 20 minutes of my time. She was a bit put off by that, but I was only being honest. If she couldn't capture my interest for 20 minutes, she probably couldn't in 20 years. Obviously she did, and she's held it for 13 years now.
I met my current g/f through a forum, on a shared interest.
We met very briefly, but didn't really speak much on a face to face basis, although we talked a little online..
Then, on a group outing, we spent a few hours together, although there was other people there too.
A week later, she gave me a lift, and we spent 6 hours in a car together, and, after not spending much time together during the weekend, spent 6 hours driving home together.
By the time I stepped out of that car, I knew I was in love with her.
Too fast ?
Don't care.
If the feelings are reciprocated, then enjoy it. run with it. There are no rules to life. it's there for the living.
To be honest I don't know if this is a bad thing or not, but I do find it a little disconcerting. It seems that the older I get the more quickly and easily I develop feelings for certain women. Uh oh...does that mean I'm desperate? I hope not LOL!
I did say "certain women" not ALL women.
When I was younger I would pick out the hottest girl I could find and unless her personality reminded me of a horror movie I would try to work around it. Needless to say I ended up going out with girls who were shall we say...less than stable. But hey, at least they were a lot of fun to look at
How things have changed. These days it takes almost nothing for a physically beautiful woman to totally ruin my opinion of her. Naturally I still find an attractive woman attractive, and I'd love to find the 'whole package' embodied in one person. But the reality is 9 times out of 10 things go downhill the moment a pretty girl opens her mouth. Maybe it's just me but it seems that if you're blessed with good genes, you should be able to find FEWER things to complain about, not MORE.
That aside. Especially over the last year or so I find myself rapidly falling for or developing an interest in women who I have little or no physical attraction to. Women I initially find 'ugly' or at the very least, plain. But they display certain personality traits....namely:
They're positive about themselves, about others, and about life in general. They're kind and considerate to everyone around them. We share a similar sense of humor. Similar beliefs. Similar goals. They're emotionally stable and easy going. They're friendly and outgoing but not aggressive or interested in being the center of attention. Open about sharing their thoughts and feelings, but neither opinionated or needing to always be right.
All of that is good and I'm fine with it. But one thing does make me wonder and that's the speed at which I become interested in pursuing more than friendship with these women. It's almost like I've traded one infatuation for another. I used to 'fall for' a girl's looks, now I 'fall for' their personality, but either way it may be based on only superficial observations.
Case-in-point. A few weeks ago I met this girl. Not good looking by any stretch of my imagination, but after spending about 3 hours with her I decided it was great meeting her and said as much, and so did she. This week I ran into her again and spent another couple of hours with her. Once again enjoyed her company very much, of course because she displayed many of the traits I listed above.
BUT is 5 hours anywhere near enough time to have your interest legitimately piqued in someone? Somehow I think not, I think I'm being silly. But at the same time I think... she's nice, why would I NOT like her and want to see her again?
You are like most guys (myself included) and get scared. We search for the perfect woman so long that when we actually find her, we are terrified and usually do something dumb a time or two. The smart ones are aware of this and blow it off. If the love is there, keep the relationship going. You will never forgive yourself if you don't?
You are like most guys (myself included) and get scared. We search for the perfect woman so long that when we actually find her, we are terrified and usually do something dumb a time or two. The smart ones are aware of this and blow it off. If the love is there, keep the relationship going. You will never forgive yourself if you don't?
I think this is really true. My ex-boyfriend was that way. I think he had searched so long for the perfect girl, and he fell in love with me (he had never been in love before or had a real relationship and he was 29), but then he basically freaked out and sabotaged it. Even now he says he has never felt about anyone the way he felt about me, and he's dating someone else. It's a shame really. I loved him too
Five hours isn't too short a time to have someone pique your interest, considering it sometimes takes only 5 seconds to completely lose that interest. Five hours is plenty of time to decide if you'd like to take a chance on someone. But if in five hours your interest is more than simply "piqued" then you may need to slow down.
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And yes I definitely plan to see her again!
