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I have mentioned that I work with abuse victims in my free time. This entails a lot of reading/hearing about a lot of really bad situations. I'm glad to be in a place where I can help, but sometimes it really drains me. I'd be lying if I said it didn't take me back to my own experiences. There are days where I think to myself that I should stop all together and others where I am glad to be doing what I am doing. It is so gratifying and taxing at the same time.
I'm sure many of you can tell, from my posts, that I am pretty passionate when it comes to abuse of any kind. I have little tolerance for any line of thinking that has the potential to take from and/or ruin another person's life and I'm very vocal about it.
I have other plans in this direction that would require me to re-live what I have experienced. I'm not sure I'm ready yet, but the pressure is there, coming from me of course, to get it done.
So, sometimes I think I'm a glutton for punishment. There are plenty of other ways to help people, right? But I just can't really imagine not doing what I do.
I don't mean to discount your compassion for these women, PTC, but it sounds to me like you're more driven by your own need to relive your experiences and heal yourself. It's more like free therapy on your terms... If it works for you, though, why not...
I don't mean to discount your compassion for these women, PTC, but it sounds to me like you're more driven by your own need to relive your experiences and heal yourself. It's more like free therapy on your terms... If it works for you, though, why not...
I'm pretty much over the worst of it. It can be therapeutic, but that's a bonus; it's not why I do it. I certainly don't want or need to to re-live it but I recognize and accept that I will be reminded. I don't think I'll ever be completely healed. The pros outweigh the cons though.
Good for you for helping such people. I find abuse like that which you describe to be unfathomable. I consciously know that it occurs, of course, but it really is unknowable for me in many ways. I think that someone who has experienced it -- who truly knows it -- can offer a truly helpful perspective to those living it.
I'm pretty much over the worst of it. It can be therapeutic, but that's a bonus; it's not why I do it. I certainly don't want or need to to re-live it but I recognize and accept that I will be reminded. I don't think I'll ever be completely healed. The pros outweigh the cons though.
I think at some point it would be good for you to put the past completely behind (as much as you can), though, and being constantly involved with such work may make it impossible...
I think at some point it would be good for you to put the past completely behind (as much as you can), though, and being constantly involved with such work may make it impossible...
I've thought about that. I tried doing this a while back and found I wasn't ready. While I can remain objective now, I definitely needed more time to ensure I'd stay that way back then.
I have to say that I respect and admire the genuine passion and care you have for your work, as well as your authentic desire in wanting to help abuse victims. One of the reasons it may be so taxing is because you truly do care. Empathizing can be draining. But you should do what's best for you, whatever that may be.
I guess what you have to do is make sure that you are dealing with your own issues properly, and not covering them up, and caring about the other people as a distraction.
I hope you know what i mean, it's clear in my head, but I can't find the right words !
I know what my g/f has been going through, and I know how invaluable the women's centre have been, and all her counselling, it's helped her a great deal.
I can also see from just talking to her, how taxing it could be to deal with that all the time.
you get top respect from me.
if you get some satisfaction from it, then maybe you should cut back a little and concentrate more on yourself.
If you can rejuvinate yourself, maybe you can offer more in the future.
I guess it's a case of "physician, heal thyself"
Quote:
Originally Posted by PassTheChocolate
This is mainly a share.
I have mentioned that I work with abuse victims in my free time. This entails a lot of reading/hearing about a lot of really bad situations. I'm glad to be in a place where I can help, but sometimes it really drains me. I'd be lying if I said it didn't take me back to my own experiences. There are days where I think to myself that I should stop all together and others where I am glad to be doing what I am doing. It is so gratifying and taxing at the same time.
I'm sure many of you can tell, from my posts, that I am pretty passionate when it comes to abuse of any kind. I have little tolerance for any line of thinking that has the potential to take from and/or ruin another person's life and I'm very vocal about it.
I have other plans in this direction that would require me to re-live what I have experienced. I'm not sure I'm ready yet, but the pressure is there, coming from me of course, to get it done.
So, sometimes I think I'm a glutton for punishment. There are plenty of other ways to help people, right? But I just can't really imagine not doing what I do.
I'm pretty much over the worst of it. It can be therapeutic, but that's a bonus; it's not why I do it. I certainly don't want or need to to re-live it but I recognize and accept that I will be reminded. I don't think I'll ever be completely healed. The pros outweigh the cons though.
I agree your never completely healed. It's always going to be there regardless of the occupation. To be truely affective you have to have some direct experience, text book knowledge is purely clinical.
Best of Luck in your endeavor.
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One of the reasons it may be so taxing is because you truly do care. Empathizing can be draining. But you should do what's best for you, whatever that may be.
