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Does it help or does it make things worse? I have not read, listened to, or been exposed to most of it, so can not judge and have no clue. I lean towards not helpful, but am too lazy to do the research (much less the experiments) myself. Any thoughts?
Exactly. Like the Rules, that mars/venus book, etc
As for the experiments, they could be fun, but I hate the idea of turning someone into a lab rat who has not signed a consent form and does not know it is an experiment
Exactly. Like the Rules, that mars/venus book, etc
As for the experiments, they could be fun, but I hate the idea of turning someone into a lab rat who has not signed a consent form and does not know it is an experiment
I've never read any of them, so I can only base this on what others have told me, or excerpts I have read, ar examples which have been posted here.
I can see how they can help, it does seem that relationships almost follow a "formula", and we often come across similar things to other couples. It can be helpful to know these are normal, and how to deal with them.
However, I can also see how these books can cause damage !
Relationships are not "one size fits all", every single one is different, because we are all individuals.
I think the trouble with books like these is not particularly the books themselves, but how people apply the content. Many people seem to think that, because it's written in a book, it must be so, which, as we know, is not the case.
I could take a case in point of being this book called "the rules" of dating.
These taking from a website for ladies dating tips.
Expect the man to pay. If he likes you, he'll pay for your meal and put you in a taxi home.
Keep your man standing on quicksand by constantly changing the goalposts and landmarks.
Never reply to emails on a weekend
Now, while i'm sure they may help, these would have me running for the hills. You want to date me, then I'm not a blank chequebook, at least offer to contribute, and let me refuse. It'll help me like you, because you'll seem decent.
Change the goalposts ? Ok, keep a sense of enigma, but this is basically telling you to send mixed messages. Mixed messages are a BIG turn off for men. Knowing where I stand is much better !
Never reply to emails on weekends ? Why the hell not ? Personally, I'm used to working long hours, so could often not even check my emails until the weekend, never mind reply !?
I'm sure there is much useful advice in them, but IMHO, if you follow it religiously, I'm, afraid you might be single for a long time !!
I've never read any of them, so I can only base this on what others have told me, or excerpts I have read, ar examples which have been posted here.
I can see how they can help, it does seem that relationships almost follow a "formula", and we often come across similar things to other couples. It can be helpful to know these are normal, and how to deal with them.
However, I can also see how these books can cause damage !
Relationships are not "one size fits all", every single one is different, because we are all individuals.
I think the trouble with books like these is not particularly the books themselves, but how people apply the content. Many people seem to think that, because it's written in a book, it must be so, which, as we know, is not the case.
I could take a case in point of being this book called "the rules" of dating.
These taking from a website for ladies dating tips.
Expect the man to pay. If he likes you, he'll pay for your meal and put you in a taxi home.
Keep your man standing on quicksand by constantly changing the goalposts and landmarks.
Never reply to emails on a weekend
Now, while i'm sure they may help, these would have me running for the hills. You want to date me, then I'm not a blank chequebook, at least offer to contribute, and let me refuse. It'll help me like you, because you'll seem decent.
Change the goalposts ? Ok, keep a sense of enigma, but this is basically telling you to send mixed messages. Mixed messages are a BIG turn off for men. Knowing where I stand is much better !
Never reply to emails on weekends ? Why the hell not ? Personally, I'm used to working long hours, so could often not even check my emails until the weekend, never mind reply !?
I'm sure there is much useful advice in them, but IMHO, if you follow it religiously, I'm, afraid you might be single for a long time !!
I also have only read about them or heard about them from friends. This topic came up for me because a Turkish friend just started dating an American guy and she bought "the Rules" because she wanted to learn about American relationships. My gut instinct is to tell her to toss the thing, but since I have never read it or tried to follow any of these publications I am not sure I can truly judge their value.
Also realize my initial post is really badly written. Sorry!
We should KNOW what to do. We are animals, after all, and they never have thie problems we hear about ??
Knowledge is all very well, but in the wrong hands, it can be dangerous !
I dread to think where the human race would be if we'd all followed "the rules" when Homo Sapien first evolved !!
Quote:
Originally Posted by typhoidmary
I also have only read about them or heard about them from friends. This topic came up for me because a Turkish friend just started dating an American guy and she bought "the Rules" because she wanted to learn about American relationships. My gut instinct is to tell her to toss the thing, but since I have never read it or tried to follow any of these publications I am not sure I can truly judge their value.
Also realize my initial post is really badly written. Sorry!
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