U.S. CitiesCity-Data Forum Index
Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Relationships
 [Register]
Please register to participate in our discussions with 1.5 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Jump to a detailed profile or search
site with Google Custom Search

Search Forums  (Advanced)
Business Search - 14 Million verified businesses
Search for:  near: 
Reply Start New Thread
 
Old 02-12-2010, 07:06 AM
 
3 posts, read 8,491 times
Reputation: 11
Default My date has been cancelled three times in a row

So here's the story... he canceled my date twice for reasonable reasons... And we suppose to meet this Sunday for valentine's but then he had this big necessary assignment he need to spend time working on so he canceled the date...

This makes it three times in a role... So I told him I'm a little sad and I'm questioning a bit that he wanna meet me or not, but I didn't get mad at him at all but somehow he got really angry and said that I said that I'm not reasonable... He said I have trusting issues... He would shout at me like I did something really bad when I didn't...

And I was just like, is it wrong that I felt like that? In my point of view, I think it's common to feel like rubbish when you got canceled even though you know its necessary to cancel... I mean, it's 3 cancels in a role, I don't know how big is 3 times in a role since he's my first boyfriend. But anyway, I always felt excited everytime that I'm gonna meet him and when the "cancel" comes up, it makes me feel a little down.. PS. He's many years older than me... Am I normal? or am I selfish?
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message

 
Old 02-12-2010, 07:12 AM
 
3,538 posts, read 4,122,036 times
Reputation: 2398
Is it TVSG?
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 02-12-2010, 07:12 AM
 
3,062 posts, read 3,810,543 times
Reputation: 3153
You're normal. Cancellng dates is not unreasonable, but acting like a jerk and yelling at you is. This guy is a loser. Get away from him dear and don't look back.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 02-12-2010, 07:13 AM
 
Location: North America
1,089 posts, read 1,303,415 times
Reputation: 1071
RUN don't walk away from him. The fact that he got angry and tried to make you wrong and blame everything on you is an unbelievable red flag!!!

I can sum up his treatment of you in 3 words: Manipulative, controlling, and abusive.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 02-12-2010, 07:16 AM
 
Location: southwest TN
6,502 posts, read 6,461,142 times
Reputation: 10424
You said he yelled at you when you asked him about cancelling 3 times in a ROW. Really, he yelled? He should have been apologetic. It really sounds as though (he's a LOT older than me) he might just be married. But even if he isn't, why would accept him treating you badly?

I think it's time to look around for boyfriend #2. The one you've got is a loser.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 02-12-2010, 07:23 AM
 
Location: Minnesota
1,285 posts, read 1,610,795 times
Reputation: 1338
RUN! and dont look back this guy is a jerk and a loser ..
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 02-12-2010, 07:24 AM
 
Location: The cupboard under the sink
3,574 posts, read 3,646,307 times
Reputation: 6077
Tell him to shove his date up his ass !

Just walk away.
Trust me, this guy is poison.


Quote:
Originally Posted by badq View Post
So here's the story... he canceled my date twice for reasonable reasons... And we suppose to meet this Sunday for valentine's but then he had this big necessary assignment he need to spend time working on so he canceled the date...

This makes it three times in a role... So I told him I'm a little sad and I'm questioning a bit that he wanna meet me or not, but I didn't get mad at him at all but somehow he got really angry and said that I said that I'm not reasonable... He said I have trusting issues... He would shout at me like I did something really bad when I didn't...

And I was just like, is it wrong that I felt like that? In my point of view, I think it's common to feel like rubbish when you got canceled even though you know its necessary to cancel... I mean, it's 3 cancels in a role, I don't know how big is 3 times in a role since he's my first boyfriend. But anyway, I always felt excited everytime that I'm gonna meet him and when the "cancel" comes up, it makes me feel a little down.. PS. He's many years older than me... Am I normal? or am I selfish?
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 02-12-2010, 07:27 AM
 
Location: Whiteville Tennessee
8,257 posts, read 10,563,866 times
Reputation: 9717
If you were my daughter and you told me this story, I would lock you in your room to make sure you couldnt see him! For your own good. And while you are in the room we are going to have a talk about how men are supposed to treat women and how women must stand up for themselves and not take this crap. And when we are done with our talk we are going to have a spelling and grammar lesson so maybe we can attract a better caliber of men in the future! All this father of 3 daughters can tell you right now is RUN FROM THIS MAN!!!!!!!!!
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 02-12-2010, 07:43 AM
 
Location: Corydon, IN
2,985 posts, read 2,152,068 times
Reputation: 5615
Sometimes cancelling happens; life gets in the way, things come up, etc. That's just how the world is.

Him actually getting angry about you asking after a third cancellation is NOT how life or the world operate.

Thank him for his time and attentions but let him know this is NOT going to work out, you wish him luck, goodbye.

Think about it:

A) Even if life is getting in the way, it indicates that right now he's TOO busy for you or anyone else and doesn't need to be thinking about entering any relationship, even a casual one

B) If life is in the way but NOT that much, he probably is a flake who doesn't plan to meet you

C) If his reaction to your questioning this is anger and resentment, this whole thing is going nowhere


I'm with Capt Dan on this, in approach at least. If you were my daughter and told me this story, I'd sit you down and ask what the hell is WRONG with you, that you even feel badly or question your place in his reaction? I'd be wondering where I went wrong as a parent, to raise such an insecure child that this had happened and they wondered if THEY were in the wrong somehow!
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 02-12-2010, 07:49 AM
 
Location: Between Philadelphia and Allentown, PA
5,079 posts, read 8,222,210 times
Reputation: 3597
Quote:
Originally Posted by thebobs View Post
Is it TVSG?


LMAO!!!!
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.

Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.


Reply
Please update this thread with any new information or opinions. This open thread is still read by thousands of people, so we encourage all additional points of view.

Quick Reply
Message:

Over $79,000 in prizes was already given out to active posters on our forum and additional giveaways are planned!

Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Relationships

All times are GMT -6.

2005-2014, Advameg, Inc.

City-Data.com - Archive 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25 - Top