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Old 02-13-2010, 12:41 PM
 
454 posts, read 512,177 times
Reputation: 211

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I've known a guy now now for nearly 2 years who lives out of state. We met at a bar, and since then were friends. I've seen him only about 3 times, and the last time I drove out to his city and stayed over at his place for a week.

Well that was a year ago, and since then I havent seen him since he travels alot and lives out of state, but we still text/call each other every month.

Its not a relationship, and Im not wanting it to be a relationship...but we're just sorta nothing. He likes me, I like him...we've messed around before. But whenever we've tried to meet its either he'd want me to arrange to fly to to him. A couple of times he mentioned paying to fly me out to him and it never happened. Then he'd just call a few weeks later as if we never discussed it

So in a way, its frustrating because its like...ok, you have the means to fly me out to you, why not do it if you want to see me? He knows I dont have the disposable income to just jump up and meet him in places. And the times where I have flown out to his city for other reasons (he lives in my hometown) he's either never there or something with his schedule and he's on the other side of the country.

I'm just thinking about cutting contact with him because its like he wants me to come see him, but wont pay for a flight or wont come to my city to visit me.
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Old 02-13-2010, 12:48 PM
 
Location: Tennessee
16,227 posts, read 21,988,662 times
Reputation: 23996
If you are not interested in a relationship with him, or looking for anything serious, then I don`t see the big deal. You should explain to him how you feel, and maybe he would be more apt to make changes, instead of losing your friendship all together.
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Old 02-13-2010, 12:58 PM
 
Location: Leaving fabulous Las Vegas, Nevada
3,836 posts, read 6,609,950 times
Reputation: 7254
Sounds like it may be keeping you from seeking a fulfilling relationship. Go ahead and look for someone who lives in your area that you could be happy with, and actually spend time with. Good luck!
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Old 02-13-2010, 01:02 PM
 
454 posts, read 512,177 times
Reputation: 211
I understand its not a real relationship...I've never actually said, "I dont want a relationship with you".

But at the same time I'm getting over the fact that he calls all the time saying he's here, he's there...everywhere but expects me to meet him there. Sometimes he'll call me at the last minute to say he's in my hometown and when I plan to come out there again.

He's not taking up all of my energy, but Im just the type of person who wants to see results. I mean, going a whole year of not meeting someone who calls every 2-3 weeks...who wouldn't?
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Old 02-13-2010, 01:07 PM
 
Location: Great Plains
25,584 posts, read 30,517,708 times
Reputation: 22713
Quote:
Originally Posted by yankeegirl313 View Post
If you are not interested in a relationship with him, or looking for anything serious, then I don`t see the big deal. You should explain to him how you feel, and maybe he would be more apt to make changes, instead of losing your friendship all together.
That was my thought.

Joei if you do want more, perhaps a talk about what you want might be in order. If he is willing to pony up the airfare why not take him up on the offer?
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Old 02-13-2010, 02:47 PM
 
Location: Nashville, Tn
7,916 posts, read 16,402,170 times
Reputation: 5442
Quote:
Would you terminate this kind of relationship?
What strikes me as being strange about your question is the fact that you're also telling us that you're not really in a relationship and that you don't want it to become one. I guess you have to decide what exactly it is that you both are looking for with each other or if you even want anything at all. It's a little confusing to me.
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Old 02-13-2010, 03:12 PM
 
Location: Up above the world so high!
45,270 posts, read 86,069,162 times
Reputation: 39670
Quote:
Originally Posted by Joei View Post
I've known a guy now now for nearly 2 years who lives out of state. We met at a bar, and since then were friends. I've seen him only about 3 times, and the last time I drove out to his city and stayed over at his place for a week.

Well that was a year ago, and since then I havent seen him since he travels alot and lives out of state, but we still text/call each other every month.

Its not a relationship, and Im not wanting it to be a relationship...but we're just sorta nothing. He likes me, I like him...we've messed around before. But whenever we've tried to meet its either he'd want me to arrange to fly to to him. A couple of times he mentioned paying to fly me out to him and it never happened. Then he'd just call a few weeks later as if we never discussed it

So in a way, its frustrating because its like...ok, you have the means to fly me out to you, why not do it if you want to see me? He knows I dont have the disposable income to just jump up and meet him in places. And the times where I have flown out to his city for other reasons (he lives in my hometown) he's either never there or something with his schedule and he's on the other side of the country.

I'm just thinking about cutting contact with him because its like he wants me to come see him, but wont pay for a flight or wont come to my city to visit me.
What are you waiting for??? Quit selling yourself so short.
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Old 02-13-2010, 03:19 PM
miu
 
Location: MA/NH
16,469 posts, read 33,431,905 times
Reputation: 15203
Joei is looking for a sugar daddy. This guy could afford to be, but he's not buying her plane tickets and such which is what she wants. Maybe he's not convinced that her company is worth the price of a plane ticket. And by not visiting her in her area, it's a sign that he's just not into her. She should move on and stop hoping that he'll change.
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Old 02-13-2010, 03:23 PM
 
Location: Florida
7,269 posts, read 9,208,992 times
Reputation: 6013
Quote:
Originally Posted by miu View Post
Joei is looking for a sugar daddy. This guy could afford to be, but he's not buying her plane tickets and such which is what she wants. Maybe he's not convinced that her company is worth the price of a plane ticket. And by not visiting her in her area, it's a sign that he's just not into her. She should move on and stop hoping that he'll change.
Yup. That sums it up. Nothing more to see here.
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Old 02-13-2010, 03:45 PM
miu
 
Location: MA/NH
16,469 posts, read 33,431,905 times
Reputation: 15203
Joei needs to wear a shirt that says this, and they're on sale right now... only $6.99 plus S & H. Problem solved.

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