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Whether is be with the opposite sex, same sex, parents, therapist or coworkers, you find yourself struggling to come up with something to say after you've been asked "so what else is happening?"
Or someone like a coworker asks you how your weekend was or if you have plans for the weekend and you either aren't in the habit of making specific plans or you didn't do anything special(or nothing worth telling the other person that would interest them) so you just don't know what to say so you feel exasperated and start to think i don't have a life or my interests and lifestyle does not equal others
it's like, i work a 45-50 hour week, i work out, i bike in the warm weather, i don't drink or go to clubs so generally speaking a lot of my time is taken up by work and gym alone
it's like i feel pressured to say things i don't know how to or feel pressured to lead a lifestyle i don't wish to
is this a product of being an avoidant personality (which i certainly am) or is this common in others?
I'm a chatter and can have in depth conversations about nothing so it's not a problem for me. But if the person I'm with isn't a talker I won't push because there is nothing more awkward than watching someone struggle to find something to say.
Does anyone experience this?
Whether is be with the opposite sex, same sex, parents, therapist or coworkers, you find yourself struggling to come up with something to say after you've been asked "so what else is happening?"
you know it's funny i used to be able to have in depth conversations about nothing ages ago but I've changed so much. I wish i could regain what I had. Funny when i lived with mom and dad before i moved out at 29 I was different but once i became independent i changed
Whether is be with the opposite sex, same sex, parents, therapist or coworkers, you find yourself struggling to come up with something to say after you've been asked "so what else is happening?"
Or someone like a coworker asks you how your weekend was or if you have plans for the weekend and you either aren't in the habit of making specific plans or you didn't do anything special(or nothing worth telling the other person that would interest them) so you just don't know what to say so you feel exasperated and start to think i don't have a life or my interests and lifestyle does not equal others
it's like, i work a 45-50 hour week, i work out, i bike in the warm weather, i don't drink or go to clubs so generally speaking a lot of my time is taken up by work and gym alone
it's like i feel pressured to say things i don't know how to or feel pressured to lead a lifestyle i don't wish to
is this a product of being an avoidant personality (which i certainly am) or is this common in others?
You don't know, that's good stuff you got there! You can discuss hitting or missing your time or distance goal for the day. You can talk about your passion for health or competition or whatever drives you. You'll look like a weekend WARRIOR!
rlrl, most people's lives are a lot more boring than they would care to admit, you aren't unusual by any stretch of the imagination.
But I think the factor of being kind of lost for words could be a separate issue. I know at least for me that how 'chatty' I am depends a lot on the other person. If we have a compatible personality and sense of humor then we'll typically talk and laugh about whatever comes to mind. But if the other person is lost for words I run out of things to say pretty quickly and usually say something like: "Well, it was nice talking to ya!"
women on the job who DO NOT push me to converse are the ones i end up getting attracted to. of course i know i can't have them but still, i find when i DO say something it is well received by them
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Ceece
