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It's actually quite interesting that over here, we have the RSPCA (Royal Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals), who, I'm sure you can guess by the name what they do.
They are a registered charity, and receive no government funding, only public donations.
There is also "women's aid", who, although it says "Women's" in the title, are there to help, and support victims of domestic abuse, both male, and female.
They are also a registered charity, and receive no government funding, only public donations.
Last year, the RSPCA had a reported income of £110 million ($200 milllion approx), whereas women's aid had a reported income of £2million. ($3milion).
So, therefore, we give more money to help animals abused by humans, than we do to help humans, abused by humans.
my favorite thing I have heard is "if someone is stupid enough to stay with someone who abuses them the they deserve it" I also hope those type of people are never put in that situation but you never truely understand until it is you. They seem to think it is as simple as just leaving, but that is rarely the case.
I just got done reading the last few pages of another thread and I am just over how some people excuse, dismiss or minimize completely unacceptable behavior. It happens here and IRL all the time, but I just can't get used to it.
On another thread, "friends" of an abuse victim tell her that she should have seen it coming.
I have to consider that some of these people have never been down that route, and I pray they never do. But others are more concerned with appearances and manners, despite how unbecoming and unmannerly the aggressors are. Never mind how disrespectful and unstable they've been, let's make sure we maintain our social grace and break it off in person.
I read and hear how men are babies, pre-wedding jitters, pressure from work, having a bad day and, after wanting to jump out of my skin, I just want to grab some of these people, give them a big hug and protect them from the real world that will surely eat them alive if they come across one of these very real, very dangerous souls. Perhaps, it becomes less acceptable when it is happening to them. I hope it never does.
I'm with you PTC. I would guess it's easy for some people to say these types of things because their lives have never been touched by abuse. You never know how you are going to react in any given situation, especially an abusive one. You're dealing with so many emotions as well as the initial shock and pain. It's a difficult situation to say the least.
I would be willing to bet if some of these same people were faced with a similar situation, their actions would be much different from their words.
I just got done reading the last few pages of another thread and I am just over how some people excuse, dismiss or minimize completely unacceptable behavior. It happens here and IRL all the time, but I just can't get used to it....
i will stick my neck out here, and voice the unpopular male opinion. assuming that we are talking about functional adults, in these issues i feel as though i'm left with two options:
A) treat abused women equally, that is, the same way I'd treat an abused man: toughen up and take control of your own life. leave, or it is your fault for sticking around, period. you make your own choices in life, and no amount of excuses or rationalizations will change this.
B) treat abused women as inferiors, as if they were helpless, the same way that i'd treat an abused child or an abused dog, that they were not capable of handling their own affairs in the grown-up human world.
outside this thread my choice is to ignore the topic as long as it doesn't affect me, and keep my mouth shut about the dilemna. but assuming that i'm going to address the problem, I'm probably going to say A), because I don't think women, as a gender, are inferior. Yet, when these posters try and convince me that "No, it just isn't that simple, YOU don't understand!" -- then really, these folks are just pushing me to re-evaluate the possibility that maybe women are inferior, maybe their threshold for personal responsibilty is really that much lower than men's. Maybe it is unfair to hold them to the same standards that I feel I'm held.
I just got done reading the last few pages of another thread and I am just over how some people excuse, dismiss or minimize completely unacceptable behavior. It happens here and IRL all the time, but I just can't get used to it.
On another thread, "friends" of an abuse victim tell her that she should have seen it coming.
I have to consider that some of these people have never been down that route, and I pray they never do. But others are more concerned with appearances and manners, despite how unbecoming and unmannerly the aggressors are. Never mind how disrespectful and unstable they've been, let's make sure we maintain our social grace and break it off in person.
I read and hear how men are babies, pre-wedding jitters, pressure from work, having a bad day and, after wanting to jump out of my skin, I just want to grab some of these people, give them a big hug and protect them from the real world that will surely eat them alive if they come across one of these very real, very dangerous souls. Perhaps, it becomes less acceptable when it is happening to them. I hope it never does.
I hear you, especially with the bolded comment (which was from my thread). I'm completely in shock because I am friends, but not too close of friends, with the woman who was beaten, while these other folks (who I also know) have been friends with her for 15-20 years, and somehow it ended up she only has me and 1 other person to help!! And they wonder why she is mad at them?!?!? I am still floored about what they said. I won't say exactly what I am thinking of them right now, because that would end up being a line of stars. I can't wish for them to experience what she is, but am definitely wishing them less than happy lives.
i will stick my neck out here, and voice the unpopular male opinion. assuming that we are talking about functional adults, in these issues i feel as though i'm left with two options:
A) treat abused women equally, that is, the same way I'd treat an abused man: toughen up and take control of your own life. leave, or it is your fault for sticking around, period. you make your own choices in life, and no amount of excuses or rationalizations will change this.
B) treat abused women as inferiors, as if they were helpless, the same way that i'd treat an abused child or an abused dog, that they were not capable of handling their own affairs in the grown-up human world.
outside this thread my choice is to ignore the topic as long as it doesn't affect me, and keep my mouth shut about the dilemna. but assuming that i'm going to address the problem, I'm probably going to say A), because I don't think women, as a gender, are inferior. Yet, when these posters try and convince me that "No, it just isn't that simple, YOU don't understand!" -- then really, these folks are just pushing me to re-evaluate the possibility that maybe women are inferior, maybe their threshold for personal responsibilty is really that much lower than men's. Maybe it is unfair to hold them to the same standards that I feel I'm held.
There are plenty of situations where the victim could have walked away and stayed anyway, sure. Just as there many cases where it ISN'T that simple. As a matter of sheer logic and common sense, not every DV situation is the same. For anyone to presume that they are all so easy to get out of is ludicrous. If that were the case, there wouldn't be laws, coalitions and shelters dedicated to this very "simple" problem.
These victims do have choices, yes. They are usually pretty debililtating. Stay or risk being killed, risk your children and family being hurt, risk losing your kids to an abusive parent - I could go on and on.
The focus should not be on whether or not accepting this reality makes them inferior. Being a victim has nothing to do with being inferior and it is that very line of thinking that victimizes these women (and men) even more. Maintaining an image for the rest of their fellow women and men is hardly a priority.
There are plenty of situations where the victim could have walked away and stayed anyway, sure. Just as there many cases where it ISN'T that simple. As a matter of sheer logic and common sense, not every DV situation is the same. For anyone to presume that they are all so easy to get out of is ludicrous. If that were the case, there wouldn't be laws, coalitions and shelters dedicated to this very "simple" problem.
These victims do have choices, yes. They are usually pretty debililtating. Stay or risk being killed, risk your children and family being hurt, risk losing your kids to an abusive parent - I could go on and on.
The focus should not be on whether or not accepting this reality makes them inferior. Being a victim has nothing to do with being inferior and it is that very line of thinking that victimizes these women (and men) even more. Maintaining an image for the rest of their fellow women and men is hardly a priority.
And as my ex once said, "turds can drive". It is hard to hide even if you can escape. If you have kids or pets finding a shelter in the US is hard. Harder if you are in a place with minimal social acceptance that DV is not the norm.
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over how some people excuse, dismiss or minimize completely unacceptable behavior. It happens here and IRL all the time, but I just can't get used to it. 
