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I just got done reading the last few pages of another thread and I am just over how some people excuse, dismiss or minimize completely unacceptable behavior. It happens here and IRL all the time, but I just can't get used to it.
On another thread, "friends" of an abuse victim tell her that she should have seen it coming.
I have to consider that some of these people have never been down that route, and I pray they never do. But others are more concerned with appearances and manners, despite how unbecoming and unmannerly the aggressors are. Never mind how disrespectful and unstable they've been, let's make sure we maintain our social grace and break it off in person.
I read and hear how men are babies, pre-wedding jitters, pressure from work, having a bad day and, after wanting to jump out of my skin, I just want to grab some of these people, give them a big hug and protect them from the real world that will surely eat them alive if they come across one of these very real, very dangerous souls. Perhaps, it becomes less acceptable when it is happening to them. I hope it never does.
I know exactly what you mean.
There are a great deal of uninformed people out there. It's quite pathetic, really.
There are huge advertising campaigns in the UK at the moment aimed at victims of abuse, to get them to speak up, and seek help, these are all well and good, but half the time, if they do speak up, they are dismissed by people who have no idea what they're dealing with.
Personally, as a male victim, it took me years to be able to speak up, because I knew I would be seen as less of a man.
It's not their fault, it's just not something which is dealt with in the open.
If only they understood that their dismisiveness only gives power to the abuser, and gives the victim less motivation to speak up.
In some cases recently on here, I feel more damage could have been done than help, because people were giving the wrong advice
I would never begin to offer somebody advice on genetic cloning, or space travel, so, why is it that people feel qualified to give their "advice" on abuse, because "they had an argument with their partner once"
Quote:
Originally Posted by PassTheChocolate
I just got done reading the last few pages of another thread and I am just over how some people excuse, dismiss or minimize completely unacceptable behavior. It happens here and IRL all the time, but I just can't get used to it.
On another thread, "friends" of an abuse victim tell her that she should have seen it coming.
I have to consider that some of these people have never been down that route, and I pray they never do. But others are more concerned with appearances and manners, despite how unbecoming and unmannerly the aggressors are. Never mind how disrespectful and unstable they've been, let's make sure we maintain our social grace and break it off in person.
I read and hear how men are babies, pre-wedding jitters, pressure from work, having a bad day and, after wanting to jump out of my skin, I just want to grab some of these people, give them a big hug and protect them from the real world that will surely eat them alive if they come across one of these very real, very dangerous souls. Perhaps, it becomes less acceptable when it is happening to them. I hope it never does.
I know exactly what you mean.
There are a great deal of uninformed people out there. It's quite pathetic, really.
There are huge advertising campaigns in the UK at the moment aimed at victims of abuse, to get them to speak up, and seek help, these are all well and good, but half the time, if they do speak up, they are dismissed by people who have no idea what they're dealing with.
Personally, as a male victim, it took me years to be able to speak up, because I knew I would be seen as less of a man.
It's not their fault, it's just not something which is dealt with in the open.
If only they understood that their dismisiveness only gives power to the abuser, and gives the victim less motivation to speak up.
In some cases recently on here, I feel more damage could have been done than help, because people were giving the wrong advice
I would never begin to offer somebody advice on genetic cloning, or space travel, so, why is it that people feel qualified to give their "advice" on abuse, because "they had an argument with their partner once"
I have not been around this site long enough to be aware of this problem, but reading that there is one saddens me. I've an abuse victim too, and I find it's hard enough IRL to find the right support following the ordeal I went through... Everyone is entitled to their opinion and their two cents, but I'd like to think that even if one can't understand the situation, one can, at the very least, sympathise enough to not be dismissive and cruel.
Really, so you've been told that people have a "right" to abuse. Were they dragging their knuckes when they said it?
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over how some people excuse, dismiss or minimize completely unacceptable behavior. It happens here and IRL all the time, but I just can't get used to it. 
