On approaching women (dating, married, husband, young)

[johnijoon]

Some say men should should not hesitate and after the initial eye contact proceed forward and start a conversation.However others say it is better to wait a little longer and let her become more intrigued and interested in you.This of course applied to situations where you have the opportunity of seeing the person again (bus stops, train, subway stations etc).I cant mention how many times when you try to approach a women who has noticed your initial / instantaneous interest will walk the other way or turn around, while if you give it a little time it is her who starts approaching you and sort of inviting you over for a conversation.Any takes on this?

[typhoidmary]

Originally Posted by johnijoon

Some say men should should not hesitate and after the initial eye contact proceed forward and start a conversation.However others say it is better to wait a little longer and let her become more intrigued and interested in you.This of course applied to situations where you have the opportunity of seeing the person again (bus stops, train, subway stations etc).I cant mention how many times when you try to approach a women who has noticed your initial / instantaneous interest will walk the other way or turn around, while if you give it a little time it is her who starts approaching you and sort of inviting you over for a conversation.Any takes on this?

The best approach I ever had was a guy who rode the same subway and saw what I was reading (the Economist), bought himself a copy (as I learned later), read it, and then said, "Hey, what did you think of the article about Algeria?". Sadly for him I was taken, happily for him I liked his approach enough that we talked and I introduced him to my friend that my ex-husband nicknamed "The Dominican Beauty Queen". Now they are married.

[Currency Pair Crocodile]

Originally Posted by johnijoon

Some say men should should not hesitate and after the initial eye contact proceed forward and start a conversation.However others say it is better to wait a little longer and let her become more intrigued and interested in you.This of course applied to situations where you have the opportunity of seeing the person again (bus stops, train, subway stations etc).I cant mention how many times when you try to approach a women who has noticed your initial / instantaneous interest will walk the other way or turn around, while if you give it a little time it is her who starts approaching you and sort of inviting you over for a conversation.Any takes on this?

I know how this works.

It's hilarious in the gym, especially during group classes.

When I start paying attention to the good looking ones, they suddenly get all conscious, gradually adjust their outfits, slow down on the treadmills or whatever machines they are on and finally get all super conscious. The gradual procession is just priceless

[SifuPhil]

I always tend to approach women downwind and from behind. It makes slipping the hood over their heads so much easier...

[ChasingSunshine]

Originally Posted by johnijoon

Some say men should should not hesitate and after the initial eye contact proceed forward and start a conversation.However others say it is better to wait a little longer and let her become more intrigued and interested in you.This of course applied to situations where you have the opportunity of seeing the person again (bus stops, train, subway stations etc).I cant mention how many times when you try to approach a women who has noticed your initial / instantaneous interest will walk the other way or turn around, while if you give it a little time it is her who starts approaching you and sort of inviting you over for a conversation.Any takes on this?

Sad to say but you're not the only man out there, if you're not moving forward the chanse is that someone else is. There isn't anything wrong with going up to talk with someone, you just have to do it the right way. Sure there are times when taking your time would help you, but there is a risk with both ways. You just have to see what works better for you, and what kind of situation you're in.

[Mr.Cat]

Has anyone tried the "George Costanza" approach? "Hi, my name is ... I'm unemployed and I live with my parents".
I am going to try it just for the heck of it.

[SifuPhil]

Originally Posted by Mr.Cat

Has anyone tried the "George Costanza" approach? "Hi, my name is ... I'm unemployed and I live with my parents".
I am going to try it just for the heck of it.

Be careful - you might just get what you deserve...

[Sunnydee]

I believe that after the eye contact it's important to actually speak to the person you are interested in. You have nothing to lose by starting a convrsation and dating is a numbers game. The more women you approach the better the chance that you'll meet someone suitable.

[carra]

Honestly I never understood all these "techniques" about showing interest VS being distant. Usually when I show interest in a woman she will turn back, but if I am distant, they will just ignore me. Maybe it doesn't have to do with how you behave, but just with whether they like you or not.

[locolobo13]

Herodotus tells a tale of amazons shipwrecked in Scythia. After a conflict with the locals, the local elders got together and picked some of their young men. Their instructions were to camp as near the amazon camp as they could without starting a fight. If the amazons attacked, back off, but stay as near as they could.

One day, one young man met a young woman and instead of fighting they talked (via sign language). This led to more young men meeting young women. Inevitably, the young men were invited to join the amazons and they started a new tribe. Yes, it's a tall tale. If you're interested google it, or find a copy. I read it a long time ago.

I think there is a grain of wisdom in there. Some women like to be pursued, but they want to be pursued only by those who they have given permission to pursue them. It's just a thought. I think that's what you have noticed. No, I don't claim to understand women. Your post just reminded me of that story.