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But she got a consequence for her actions - now she won't be marrying him. But you seem to think instead of a consequence what she really deserved was a PUNISHMENT (like this humiliation).
My argument all along has been, he must have never really loved her, and she was better off finding out about his vengeful, juvenile streak now before she married him.
Punishment, consequence. Potato, potatoe Unless I'm using it wrong
I'll have to disagree on the second point. We can't just assume that he was always this way or that he never loved her.
We only know two things: He acted out on his anger by publicly humiliating her. She cheated. Everything else is pure speculation
^ I agree, I don't understand how people can say she didn't deserve this! I'm sorry but her actions were inexcusable and disgusting. You can argue that what he did was also bad, but I can't believe anyone could honestly say being humiliated on radio (her last name wasn't even given out, big deal!) is worse than being cheated on by the person you plan on marrying. I am a firm believer in an eye for an eye. If you disrespect your partner and the relationship you have by cheating, you do not deserve to be treated with respect. I have no sympathy for her.
I have to wait until I get home to listen to this, but until then, I'll say this.
This woman was unrepentant. If she was heading to marry this boyfriend of 5 years after cheating on him, why did she never tell him?
As difficult and painful as it is to confess to a loved one you've been unfaithful, I can't help but think that if this woman...
1. understood the wrongfulness and hurtfulness of her cheating
2. cared about him enough, both to be honest and upfront AND to work with him to be accountable to avoid future cheating....
... then why did she not tell him before he found out?
My conclusion is: she had sex elsewhere and enjoyed it and wanted to get away with it WHILE getting married.
Is this fair? And please don't say, "life isn't fair." NONE OF YOU who have condemned the man's actions, even if you agree the woman was a creep, would sit quietly if someone said "life isn't fair" had YOU been in the man's position.
I have to wait until I get home to listen to this, but until then, I'll say this.
This woman was unrepentant. If she was heading to marry this boyfriend of 5 years after cheating on him, why did she never tell him?
Did you get a chance to check it out yet? Did she cheat on him the entire 5 years? I was not aware of that, not that it changes my position on anything.
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My conclusion is: she had sex elsewhere and enjoyed it and wanted to get away with it WHILE getting married.
That is probably the case. Cheating, whatever the reason, is rarely about being honest and upfront about it or being held accountable.
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NONE OF YOU who have condemned the man's actions, even if you agree the woman was a creep, would sit quietly if someone said "life isn't fair" had YOU been in the man's position.
I dont think anyone would dispute that. We would certainly differ on how we would make noise and how loud it would be.
With all the distortion and absolultist theory on this thread, there is one thing that is certain. There is a theme of ego that rules both the guy in question and the people who approve of what he did. Instant gratification. And ego is the chosen vehicle for fooldom when that is all that fuels you.
Make a fool of me, I am not going to help him along by keying his car, torching his house, posting a billboard or announcing it on the radio. Outside of letting him know what I think of him (if I even decide to do that) and moving on, he is not getting any more energy from me. This kind of stuff screams "I still love you even though you hurt me and I hate myself for it.". I will never leave him with that kind of confirmation.
I believe in consequence, absolutely. I happen to know that I don't have to lift a finger for it to come about. I'll move on and do what makes me happy. I'm not doing anything for a response or a reaction from him. But for him, time, silence and the unknown is torture. It never, ever fails.
So, let's see if this makes any sense here. If you really want someone to regret what they have done, shouldn't you show them that you are worth the remorse? Do you think this woman, regardless of why she cheated, actually feels the loss right now? Do you think she is riding her new man off into the sunset (if they are still together) thinking, " MAN, I had a good thing and I screwed it up."?
Sometimes, the greatest blessings come in the form of adversity. And this could certainly apply to the both of them.
So, let's see if this makes any sense here. If you really want someone to regret what they have done, shouldn't you show them that you are worth the remorse? Do you think this woman, regardless of why she cheated, actually feels the loss right now? Do you think she is riding her new man off into the sunset (if they are still together) thinking, " MAN, I had a good thing and I screwed it up."?
No, this man in question did nothing to make her feel remorseful. If anything, she is probably feeling justified, she is probably thinking: "geez, what an ahole he was".
If he really wanted her to feel remorseful, he would have taken a high road and just leave her. That would be a completely appropriate consequence. There is no greater punishment than the feeling of remorse and guilt and "what ifs". I can bet my bottom dollar she is not feeling any of those things now. This is basic psychology.
No, this man in question did nothing to make her feel remorseful. If anything, she is probably feeling justified, she is probably thinking: "geez, what an ahole he was".
If he really wanted her to feel remorseful, he would have taken a high road and just leave her. That would be a completely appropriate consequence. There is no greater punishment than the feeling of remorse and guilt and "what ifs". I can bet my bottom dollar she is not feeling any of those things now. This is basic psychology.
From personal experience as the one who walked the high road after my husband left me for someone else I can fully understand this guy's motivations. I don't even want to detail the revenge fantasies that went through my mind....everything you can imagine and a few more! In the end, I let him go quietly and in as friendly a manner as possible. Not because I am a wonderful person or anything, but because after the initial high of revenge, I'd have to look myself in the mirror and be the person who did whatever. Definitely not worth it to me.
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Unless I'm using it wrong
" MAN, I had a good thing and I screwed it up."?
