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Chances are they've dated someone before you who puts out on the first date. They're accustomed to a certain pace in the relationship. That's nothing new. You can't blame a guy for trying, so long as he's being respectful. However, if they lack creativity that early on in the relationship, then you can probably expect a lot of future "dates" to be sitting on his couch playing video games with a few drinks and getting it on afterwards. Is he one of those "I don't know what do you want to do" indecisive types? Find a guy who is willing to go out and have fun with you and get to know you.
It's a matter of extremes. Most women don't want men who are too sexually aggressive on the first few dates. But most women don't want men who are "no-ops," either, a no-op being a non-operative who won't even attempt a liplock.
Yes! If a guy is not trying anything I start to doubt myself - am I not attractive to him? Should I have worn a different shirt ? haha
It seems complicated but it really isn't. I want a guy to really want me, but I want him to have self-control. If he wants me? Good. If he has no self-control about it? Major turn off.
Its not about being simple or shallow, its about simple evolution. Yes humans might be the most intelectual of all the animal species, but we're still animals plain and simple. If you are not dating a woman because of that initial sexual attraction then what are you dating her for? People like to think they're so beyound anything primal like sex, but who are you kidding? How do you think the human population has grown so immensely? Because we like to spend time with people from the opposite sex who we feel no sexual attraction to?
If I'm dating a guy, I sure as hell hope he is sexually attracted to me, otherwise he is wasting his time and mine.
A little over two years following a divorce and after living like a monk all that time I finally asked a woman out for a bit of a day-trip and brunch at the beach I wanted to go to a particular store to purchase Christmas gifts for my daughters and thought some company would be nice.
I'd known the lady for five years and we'd worked together for four of them. There was nothing romantic in my reason for the invitation. As I said, I simply thought some company would be pleasant. She and I had always been able to talk, we got along and were both in the same, very specialized and difficult career.
It worked just as planned and we spent a very pleasant day together. That's all I wanted or expected. That we were married two months later does nothing to change my initial reasons for asking her out. The mutual attraction developed during the date but was not the reason for it.
A little over two years following a divorce and after living like a monk all that time I finally asked a woman out for a bit of a day-trip and brunch at the beach I wanted to go to a particular store to purchase Christmas gifts for my daughters and thought some company would be nice.
I'd known the lady for five years and we'd worked together for four of them. There was nothing romantic in my reason for the invitation. As I said, I simply thought some company would be pleasant. She and I had always been able to talk, we got along and were both in the same, very specialized and difficult career.
It worked just as planned and we spent a very pleasant day together. That's all I wanted or expected. That we were married two months later does nothing to change my initial reasons for asking her out. The mutual attraction developed during the date but was not the reason for it.
what is it that makes men assume a woman would go home with him shortly after meeting him, whether he knows for a fact that she would or not?
I actually assume that they wouldn't but I think things change as you get older. It's very different when you're in your twenties and I grew up long before the AIDS epidemic when people didn't feel like they might be risking their life just by having sex.
To all the men saying this is becoming a man bashing thread, I didn't mean to make it that. I just get frustrated with all the sleazebags I meet lately as I'm ready to fall in love again (ya cheesy but that's the truth) and it doesn't look it'll happen within the next couple years even . I'm just wondering what about me attracts just these types of men and what about me doesn't attract the normal/respectful, yet fun ones.
Anyways, I agree that a man probably wants to have sex with me if he's taking me out, but I can't even get these men to take me out before they start putting moves on me..I try to not even kiss before even one date happens, but they're not even respectful enough for that. I like sex just as much as the next girl, but I want a man to work for me.
Aren't you a little harsh here Ablees? It seems to me that you are bashing me out of anger for something bad you had happen to you...
As it has been said, it's natural for men to want sex if they are dating you, and there's no harm for them in trying. But if a woman is dating a man, the normal situation is she will want to get intimate with him at some point, so I think your problem is not that men want sex. Your problem is you are afraid they may want ONLY sex.
But again, with such behavior I wouldn't be surprised that men will only want sex from some of you. I can't imagine a relationship with someone this offensive...
I'm not bashing you, nor am I writing out of anger for something bad that has happened to me. I feel that I am very lucky with men that I have met actually.
Of course it is natural for men to want sex, it is just as natural for woman to want sex. Your 1st post was not coming off in a way that is sincere. It came off like the typical man that the OP was describing. You had said things like woman want men to pursue them, yet when you do we dont like it....I simply told you the difference between pursuing us and trying to get laid. Then you had to throw in your comment along the lines of "I give up." So I say to you, if you dont understand where OP was coming from then maybe you should give up. Or at least give up on finding a relationship, because from your first post it seemed as though your idea of taking action was getting them in bed.
With that said, I do not feel that I was harsh in my response before. If I hurt your feelings I am truely sorry, as I did not mean to. I was simply pointing out what most woman see "taking action" and "pursuing" as.
To all the men saying this is becoming a man bashing thread, I didn't mean to make it that. I just get frustrated with all the sleazebags I meet lately as I'm ready to fall in love again (ya cheesy but that's the truth) and it doesn't look it'll happen within the next couple years even . I'm just wondering what about me attracts just these types of men and what about me doesn't attract the normal/respectful, yet fun ones.
Anyways, I agree that a man probably wants to have sex with me if he's taking me out, but I can't even get these men to take me out before they start putting moves on me..I try to not even kiss before even one date happens, but they're not even respectful enough for that. I like sex just as much as the next girl, but I want a man to work for me.
There are not very many men who are normal - I know that's what you're searching high and low for, but the sooner you realize this the better. We're all human, we all have issues.
You will eventually meet someone who is right for you, don't give up. But you also have to be realistic and toughen up a little bit. Don't let the guy call all the shots, have some backbone. If a guy is being a sleaze and he has his hands all over you, say "Look, I'm not that easy. I'm going to make you work for it. So, xnay on the handsay."
Not to mention the fact that one woman's normal is another's kink...
I've never had normal, but I'm guessing if I did it would probably bore me . Or else it would be like, "Wow, you're normal! Hmmmm ... what the hell is wrong with you?!"
I've always said - Normal are just the people you don't really know.
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? haha 
The mutual attraction developed during the date but was not the reason for it.
. I'm just wondering what about me attracts just these types of men and what about me doesn't attract the normal/respectful, yet fun ones. 
. Or else it would be like, "Wow, you're normal! Hmmmm ... what the hell is wrong with you?!"
