Great Spouse vs. Great Job (reason, serious, California, Chicago)

[jluyka]

You both bring up excellent points. My hubby and I have planes tickets to visit at the end of this month. The move is tentatively for the end of July.

As for telecommuting...the job requires 75 % local travel which means that I will need to drive to various places in a car (they provide and maintain), so no, unfortunately I cannot do the job out-of-state because the need is local. (That would have been awesome though!) Once my field work is complete, I use the PC equipment (that they provide) to write and submit reports on my findings.

What I most love about this job is that I am able to setup my travel (and write-up) time around my family's needs/schedules, without interference...something that I have never had the opportunity to do...

Also, as I mentioned earlier...we are not concerned about the "culture shock" element as I have wanted a change for as long as I remember (since childhood!) and he has lived in various places already so the difference in the cities/states is not really a factor....but I will say this...I think that I have kind of already decided that if after our visit, he absolutely hates it, I'm going to turn down the job.

His love and happiness means more to me than anything. I TRULY hate the idea of going back to work in a controlled environment but I also believe that if that means our overall happiness...so be it.

I really appreciate all the responses, thank you very much!!!

[DCNative]

I'm only 27 and never done the marriage thing and am still looking for a job, so take my advice for what it's worth. Here's what I think -

Do the move. Set a 2 year (or however long your family decides) "trial period" and have a mid-period evaluation. If your family likes the place by 1 year, stay beyond 2 years. If they want to go back, prepare to move back by the end of the 2 year trial. Has your hubby considered trying to open a restaurant in TX? It may be a whole lot cheaper to do that there because of lower real estate prices in TX than Chicago.

[vpcats]

Originally Posted by jluyka

You both bring up excellent points. My hubby and I have planes tickets to visit at the end of this month. The move is tentatively for the end of July.

As for telecommuting...the job requires 75 % local travel which means that I will need to drive to various places in a car (they provide and maintain), so no, unfortunately I cannot do the job out-of-state because the need is local. (That would have been awesome though!) Once my field work is complete, I use the PC equipment (that they provide) to write and submit reports on my findings.

What I most love about this job is that I am able to setup my travel (and write-up) time around my family's needs/schedules, without interference...something that I have never had the opportunity to do...

Also, as I mentioned earlier...we are not concerned about the "culture shock" element as I have wanted a change for as long as I remember (since childhood!) and he has lived in various places already so the difference in the cities/states is not really a factor....but I will say this...I think that I have kind of already decided that if after our visit, he absolutely hates it, I'm going to turn down the job.

His love and happiness means more to me than anything. I TRULY hate the idea of going back to work in a controlled environment but I also believe that if that means our overall happiness...so be it.

I really appreciate all the responses, thank you very much!!!

You know, I'm thinking. Some say that the marriage comes first and if your hubby is completely against it, you should not take the job. Well, don't the same rules apply to the hubby? If the wife has a good opportunity, why wouldn't the hubby want to go too if it means staying together and keeping the marriage as first priority?

Moreover in THIS situation where it seems the husband won't care about location because he's moved around before. He could set up his own business (which he wants) and he hates the job he now has anyway.

I don't understand why he would be so adamantly against the move. It seems like a win-win to me all around.

AND the poster wants to move because it will give her that much more time with and for the family. Now, the cooking breakfast, lunch and dinner part.....that one is beyond me.

[DCNative]

Originally Posted by vpcats

I don't understand why he would be so adamantly against the move. It seems like a win-win to me all around.

Maybe he thinks Texas is too conservative?

[jluyka]

Besides the obvious that is involved with picking up our lives and starting over...the one and only thing my hubby dislikes is the Texas weather. He really LOVES Chicago winters, the cold, the snow...I do not recall stating that he was "adamant."

Also about the restaurant thing, yes, it would be much cheaper in Texas...it seems everything is cheaper there!

Thank you!

[DCNative]

Originally Posted by jluyka

Besides the obvious that is involved with picking up our lives and starting over...the one and only thing my hubby dislikes is the Texas weather. He really LOVES Chicago winters, the cold, the snow...I do not recall stating that he was "adamant."

Also about the restaurant thing, yes, it would be much cheaper in Texas...it seems everything is cheaper there!

Thank you!

How does he feel about wintertime ski trips? Colorado Rockies are just a stone's throw away in terms of domestic flights.

[jluyka]

Originally Posted by DCNative

How does he feel about wintertime ski trips? Colorado Rockies are just a stone's throw away in terms of domestic flights.

I hadn't thought of that but that will most certainly be in our itinerary if we move! And get this...he's always wanted to do that! Thanks for that suggestion!

[DCNative]

Originally Posted by jluyka

I hadn't thought of that but that will most certainly be in our itinerary if we move! And get this...he's always wanted to do that! Thanks for that suggestion!

You're welcome, and best of luck! I'm certain you guys will work it out because it seems from what you've posted in this thread, your love for each other is very strong and will overcome life's difficulties like this.

[vpcats]

Originally Posted by jluyka

Besides the obvious that is involved with picking up our lives and starting over...the one and only thing my hubby dislikes is the Texas weather. He really LOVES Chicago winters, the cold, the snow...I do not recall stating that he was "adamant."

Also about the restaurant thing, yes, it would be much cheaper in Texas...it seems everything is cheaper there!

Thank you!

I guess "adamant" was my take out of all the posts regarding NOT moving if your husband was against it at all.

I apologize if I made it sound worse than reality.

[Twinkle Toes]

Originally Posted by jhlcomp

Since you are both on a second marriage - you certainly don't want to jeopardize what you have. Also, as this is a "work from home" situation will they allow you to work remotely from Chicago and do the physical check-in once a month? Have you gone down to Texas to check it out? From what I gather, you haven't been to Texas and as any major move, you will want to pay a visit before making any life altering decisions. Texas is a big change from Chicago. I would check more thoroughly into this.

AMEN to this!!! You might get to Texas and absolutely hate it - like we did! Fortunately, we moved back to where we came from.