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Old 02-21-2010, 05:40 PM
 
49 posts, read 112,006 times
Reputation: 52

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Quote:
Originally Posted by sierraAZ View Post
I thought you were talking about a specific girl. Sorry if I misunderstood.
The girl in post :

- Early 20's.
- Dating older people.

Me :

-Early 20's
-Dating older people.


I'm not interested in her, just for the fact that i prefer mine a little bit older than that. And secondly it takes one to reckognize another, I know the benifits from dating older people, and the cons of it aswell. And i would gladly go date a 49 year old woman, but it would be for the fun of it and i wouldn't be after a relationship. Now the OP was wondering about her and what intentions she might have. I gave my opinion from my own experience dating older people. If he wants to go for it, he should do so and enjoy the time. But he should understand that she might be a gold digger, and it's up to him if he is willing to take that risk or not.

I admit that the clueless part did get to me slightly. Just because i'm young does not mean i'm clueless. It just means i have had less time to experience things than other have. And when it comes to this subject i would like to think i have a clue what i'm talking about.

Anyway i did not mean to offend you, nor anyone in this thread. And i'm sorry if i did. I was just stating my opinion and i'll jump out of this thread now as i don't want to ruin this thread or anyones day by arguing!
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Old 02-21-2010, 05:40 PM
 
Location: Coachella Valley, California
15,639 posts, read 40,975,404 times
Reputation: 13467
[quote=sierraAZ;12997588]It's just too weird when you're so passionately against something you're doing.

What are you suggesting I'm doing? Are you suggesting I'm a golddigger? For the record, when I met my husband I was a Deputy DA in Los Angeles County making a pretty healthy salary ON MY OWN without the need for a man to support me. Now that I am in private practice, and attending classes to become an arbitrator, I certainly don't need financial support from anybody.

He and I are both older now and it is what it is.

Why do you have to be so nasty to me? I used to be under the delusion that we were friends.
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Old 02-21-2010, 05:44 PM
 
Location: Tucson
42,831 posts, read 88,042,435 times
Reputation: 22814
Quote:
Originally Posted by Twinkle Toes View Post
What are you suggesting I'm doing? Are you suggesting I'm a golddigger? For the record, when I met my husband I was a Deputy DA in Los Angeles County making a pretty healthy salary ON MY OWN without the need for a man to support me. Now that I am in private practice, and attending classes to become an arbitrator, I certainly don't need financial support from anybody.

He and I are both older now and it is what it is.

Why do you have to be so nasty to me? I used to be under the delusion that we were friends.
I merely said your husband is also significantly older than you are. Where you got the rest is your problem. I neither said it about you nor about any generic relationship of this nature.
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Old 02-21-2010, 05:49 PM
 
Location: Tucson
42,831 posts, read 88,042,435 times
Reputation: 22814
Quote:
Originally Posted by Friday night View Post
I admit that the clueless part did get to me slightly. Just because i'm young does not mean i'm clueless. It just means i have had less time to experience things than other have. And when it comes to this subject i would like to think i have a clue what i'm talking about.
I suppose I could've chosen a different word, but that wouldn't have made much of a difference because the bottom line is that you, as a guy of the same age, can't really relate to what a girl of that age is attracted to. As you can see, most of the disgusted responders are men. That should tell you something...

Quote:
Anyway i did not mean to offend you, nor anyone in this thread. And i'm sorry if i did. I was just stating my opinion and i'll jump out of this thread now as i don't want to ruin this thread or anyones day by arguing!
Me, neither. Let's calm down now!
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Old 02-21-2010, 05:53 PM
 
Location: La lune et les étoiles
18,258 posts, read 22,489,704 times
Reputation: 19593
1) She has "daddy" issues

2) She needs a financier
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Old 02-21-2010, 05:56 PM
 
Location: Beautiful New England
2,412 posts, read 7,166,877 times
Reputation: 3072
Okay, okay....Twinkle Toes and sierraAZ, I'm stepping in here. I like you both. Let's all take a time out.
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Old 02-21-2010, 06:03 PM
 
Location: Hot Springs, AR
5,612 posts, read 15,092,051 times
Reputation: 3787
At 21, I actively sought men who were older because I couldn't stand the immaturity and game playing tendencies of men my own age. Older men are done with games and have learned how to treat a woman. That's why they aren't always in a hurry to jump into bed immediately they understand the best sex comes from the best chemistry and anticipation is a powerful aphrodisiac.
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Old 02-21-2010, 06:17 PM
 
49 posts, read 112,006 times
Reputation: 52
Quote:
Originally Posted by sierraAZ View Post
I suppose I could've chosen a different word, but that wouldn't have made much of a difference because the bottom line is that you, as a guy of the same age, can't really relate to what a girl of that age is attracted to. As you can see, most of the disgusted responders are men. That should tell you something...


You're very right, i'm not a woman and i'm not going to be able to relate about certain things. But what attracts someone is not gender based, and even if you're a man you can with a sharp eye and open mind find almost the same things in another man attractive, as your girlfriend could. Take homosexual men for an example, it's not unheard that they can sit down with girlfriends of theirs and talk about a man, and find the same things attractive. That you're attractive to males over females might be a gene thing (I'm not going into that discussion here though). But that you can find a man attractive, that is not.

And for the OP. It's not impossible, and there are certain things she might find genuinly attractive and worth going for. Alot of them have been mentioned in this post but i'm going to turn the coin around and not look at it with a chanse of gold digging.

Security - It's always a security to be with an older man, They have in most cases settled down, and have a stable work and know what they want in their life.

Less Drama - You will find less drama with an older man, he have been through those stages and have hopefully learnt from it.

Appriciation - You might feel more appriciated with an older man, their not going to run away to watch fotball and leave you alone. Or join their mates to the pub for a drink and leave you at home. They spend time with you, and can appriciate you for who you are. Take you out for dinner and be a gentleman.

Fidelity - The chanse is very slim that he will end up cheating on you, if you get into a seriouse relationship. By this point in life he's most probably learnt that lesson or been smart enough to never put himself into that situation.

Charismatic / Gentleman - At the age of 49 you're bound to have picked up a certain skill or two when it comes to talking, or being polite. They can be true gentlemen, and that can be very charming and make you feel very special.

Money - This isn't gold digging, but they do have enough money to take care of themself, and take you out for dinner. If it gets seriouse a vacation aswell, they can treat you great, and instead of wanting that brand new car they could spend some money on you.

Independent - From having lived those years, they are in a stable environment and most probably secure in themself and what they want. They are independent and can take care of themself, and don't have to be stuck to your hip. They have their own lives.

Experience - Anything from life experience, to when it comes to bed. Some of the best lovers tend to be the older ones, that have had time to pick up a trick or two.

Sex appeal - Older men can have a certain sex appeal that you can't find in younger. It's anything from the experience, to the looks, to the mature and appriciating person.

Conversation - You can talk about different things, you can have a conversation that is mature and talk about certain subjects you would have a harder time talking with younger men about. Like your feelings, your fears or personal things like that.

There are several more that could be mentioned, and this is just a general look at many attractive things. It's a personal thing, whatever we find attractive and what we don't. But some of theese might be the reason she wants to spend time with you, and there might be reasons i haven't mentioned.

In the end the choise is yours, if you want to take the risk or not. And as long as you have in mind that she might be a gold digger, why not give it a chanse? Hopefully she will prove you wrong.


Aaaand with that i'm going to take my leave. Have a lovely night sierra!
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Old 02-21-2010, 06:27 PM
 
5,143 posts, read 5,392,386 times
Reputation: 2865
Ugh. Maybe cuz she wants to.
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Old 02-21-2010, 08:53 PM
 
Location: syracuse ny
2,412 posts, read 5,077,240 times
Reputation: 2048
Quote:
Originally Posted by sierraAZ View Post
For a myriad of reasons: smart, educated, witty, experienced, well traveled, well dressed, acts like a gentleman, provides romance, etc., etc. - all those things her peers fall short on.
This is probably the reasons that 22 yr old Jamaican runway model was with me Sierra! She always said it was because I was hun.................orse(damn internet connection!) But I'm irish, we're not known for that.
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