U.S. CitiesCity-Data Forum Index
Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Relationships
 [Register]
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
View detailed profile (Advanced) or search
site with Google Custom Search

Search Forums  (Advanced)
Reply Start New Thread
 
Old 02-22-2010, 12:14 PM
 
301 posts, read 953,757 times
Reputation: 420

Advertisements

If your husband is the sole breadwinner in the house for whatever reason and you only have joint accounts, is it wrong to slowly save (those extra dollar bills that find their way into your purse) into a secret account?

Opinions?
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message

 
Old 02-22-2010, 12:15 PM
 
5,148 posts, read 4,227,012 times
Reputation: 2865
Wouldn't this be stealing?
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 02-22-2010, 12:16 PM
 
301 posts, read 953,757 times
Reputation: 420
Good question Jsizzle... anyone else? How about this, what if the woman is able to work, is it ok to then save your money in a secret account? What if the woman can't work? ie. raising children, disabled, etc?

Last edited by Deja Vu Again; 02-22-2010 at 12:18 PM.. Reason: More thoughts added
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 02-22-2010, 12:17 PM
 
Location: The Hall of Justice
25,907 posts, read 35,007,171 times
Reputation: 42372
The only scenario I can imagine where that could be OK is if an abused spouse is trying to save up money to escape.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 02-22-2010, 12:19 PM
 
Location: Tempe, AZ
740 posts, read 1,047,375 times
Reputation: 448
Quote:
Originally Posted by Deja Vu Again View Post
If your husband is the sole breadwinner in the house for whatever reason and you only have joint accounts, is it wrong to slowly save (those extra dollar bills that find their way into your purse) into a secret account?

Opinions?
Nothing wrong with having your own bank account, but I would not keep it a secret, that just strikes me as sneaky. Besides, come tax time you'd still have to declare the interest, assuming it was an interest bearing account
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 02-22-2010, 12:21 PM
 
951 posts, read 1,564,129 times
Reputation: 643
As a small nest egg for some serious problem, its not an issue at all.

However, I know of a guy at work whose wife hid most of their $1.6 million net worth before filing for divorce. Then she went after her "share" of what she couldn't get her hands on. I expect that in a few years, she'll move to the tax haven where she hid it.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 02-22-2010, 12:23 PM
 
Location: New York, NY
917 posts, read 2,555,966 times
Reputation: 1021
If you feel you have to keep it secret, you shouldn't be in that relationship, whether it's due to trust issues or abuse.

If you're saving to escape, that's one thing, although there are battered women's shelters and other resources. Is it really worth it to save up money on the sly though when your life is in danger?

If you just don't trust your partner, you shouldn't be with them.

I don't have a problem with separate bank accounts- they work really well for some couples. If you feel you have to be sneaky about it, you have bigger problems than money in your relationship.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 02-22-2010, 12:24 PM
 
Location: DC
3,276 posts, read 10,375,933 times
Reputation: 1274
Your own bank account is fine, but unless you're talking about an abusive situation (or perhaps one where he has spending/gambling issues), I don't know why you'd keep it a secret.

Also, if he's the sole breadwinner (i.e. I don't work at all), I don't know if I'd feel right taking some money away and putting it aside just for myself.


Edit: I completely agree with StinaTado
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 02-22-2010, 12:25 PM
 
Location: In my skin
8,882 posts, read 13,856,992 times
Reputation: 8735
Quote:
Originally Posted by JustJulia View Post
The only scenario I can imagine where that could be OK is if an abused spouse is trying to save up money to escape.
I agree.

Quote:
Originally Posted by typhoidmary View Post
Nothing wrong with having your own bank account, but I would not keep it a secret, that just strikes me as sneaky. Besides, come tax time you'd still have to declare the interest, assuming it was an interest bearing account
Exactly. If I was married, I'd probably have both. Haven't really decided on that one yet.

Quote:
Originally Posted by JSizzle225 View Post
Wouldn't this be stealing?
Hmmm, dunno. Can you steal what is already yours?
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 02-22-2010, 12:29 PM
 
3,060 posts, read 6,948,311 times
Reputation: 3257
Quote:
Originally Posted by Deja Vu Again View Post
If your husband is the sole breadwinner in the house for whatever reason and you only have joint accounts, is it wrong to slowly save (those extra dollar bills that find their way into your purse) into a secret account?

Opinions?
I wouldn't do it personally, but my marriage is sound and I don't have one foot out the door. If you (?) feel that the marriage is in trouble and don't believe that your spouse would be fair in the event of a split, then I can understand wanting to put away some money for survival in the event that that happened. Is it wrong? Not sure.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.

Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.


Reply
Please update this thread with any new information or opinions. This open thread is still read by thousands of people, so we encourage all additional points of view.

Quick Reply
Message:

Over $104,000 in prizes was already given out to active posters on our forum and additional giveaways are planned!

Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Relationships
Follow City-Data.com founder on our Forum or

All times are GMT -6.

2005-2018, Advameg, Inc.

City-Data.com - Archive 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35 - Top