See, we are not so different afterall:
(some men may feel this way about their women...but so many women feel this way about their men)
1. Women ARE
not mind readers.
2. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big boy
. If it's down, put it back down. We need it down, you need it up. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.
3. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be..
4. Shopping is NOT
a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way. So man- you go get the groceries!
5. Crying is blackmail.
6. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!
7. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.
8. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your mother is for.
9. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. I want a divorce.
10. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.
11. If you won't dress like Cary Grant
, don't expect us to act like Victoria Secrects angels.
12. If you think you're fat, you probably are.. Don't ask us.
13. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.
14. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done, not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.
15. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials..
16. Christopher Columbus did NOT
need directions and neither do we.
17. Men only see in 16 colors, like old Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is. - this one has me stumped because I have no clue what this is! hahahha I didn't know peach or pumpkin were colors....and mauve- hmmmm....don't know that one either.
18. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.
19. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like nothings wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.
20. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear.
21. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine ... really.
22. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as football
, how the universe was made
, or golf
23. You have enough clothes.
24. You have too many shoes.
25. I am in shape. Round is a shape.
26. Thank you for reading this. Yes, I know, the hubby will have to sleep on the couch tonight; But did you know women really don't mind that? It's like camping for the boys and the woman finally can get some sleep