Man Rules. Ladies, Please Read, Memorize and Comply

[Urban Sasquatch]

1. YOU DO NOT NEED TO DUST THE TELEVISION just as something important is happening!!!

2. If Valentine's Day was actually a holiday I would get a day off from work. Since I don't... you do the math. I'd rather retile the bathroom in whatever colour you want than to try to pick out a Valentine's Day card since they all seem generic to me anyway.

3. If you ever compare me unfavorably with your ex-, it's the same as saying you prefer him -- and I encourage you to go back to him.

4. I don't like shoe-shopping with you, I really don't. And no, I don't want to wait outside for you while you shoe-shop, I want to go to the food court and eat something.

5. Every outfit you try on looks fine. Honestly, it does. I don't want to sit and tell you about a slew of outfits as you try them on, and I'm also afraid to be honest in case I say the wrong thing -- so I don't want to go clothes shopping with you. I like the way you look and I trust you to dress yourself. Hell, I trust you to dress ME about half the time. You haven't realized this yet, but unless you're modeling lingerie which resembles a black Kleenex, I want to go to the automotive section or look for camping gear.

6. I want to hear about your day, I CARE about your day, and I care about your problems at work -- but if you're going to roll your eyes because I try to solve things I perceive to be problems because you didn't actually want them solved, you only wanted to "talk", tell one of your girlfriends.

7. Please tell me about funny noises from under the hood or strange lights that come on in your dash mounting as soon as you hear or see them. I'll be much, much happier than I will when the car breaks down and you say "I didn't think it was that important."

8. I may grimace, but I actually like opening jars for you.

9. Boxing and MMA are as important as anything on the Lifetime channel.

10. I'd rather you decreased my portions than simply switching me to rabbit food, and I'd like some warning even with that. SALAD is NOT a "nice surprise", nor is it "just doing something different". It's an unsatisfying irritant.

[crazy_bd]

1. If I ask you if something is wrong and you answer "nothing", you can't come back later and have an emotional blow up over this "nothingness".

2. Don't test me with head games and manufactured situations.

3. If you have trust issues, I'm out of here.

4. If you have rules like this: "Why Buy The Cow When He Can Get The Milk For Free" then you should try to catch up to the 20th century. Or maybe even the 21st. Don't use sex as a negotiation or bargaining chip.

[Coolhand68]

Originally Posted by Urban Sasquatch

1. YOU DO NOT NEED TO DUST THE TELEVISION just as something important is happening!!!

Great list! To this item I would add...same goes for vacuuming! She knows there are few things I hate more than the sound of a vacuum cleaner, yet she'll wait until I've come home, cooked dinner, and placed the first morsel of food in my mouth to start running the vacuum while I'm catching up on the days events. Keep in mind, she's had all day to do this. Ghandi would envy my restraint.

[MattB4]

Man rule #1. We do not talk about man rules.
Man rule #2. Rules are meant to be broken.
Man rule #3. Never go home with the last girl at the bar upon closing time.
Man rule.#4. If you did go home with the last girl, assume a new identity.
Man rule #5. Women are liars.
Man rule #6. If all else fails go fishing.

[Raena77]

I wouldn't say we are liars. We just reconfigure it different.

[TaoistDude]

Don't buy the cow until you're certain it's a good - practically guaranteed - investment. It's not just the milk.

Otherwise, general rules that apply to everyone seem to work very well: Treat everyone with kindness, compassion, and respect, even when they don't reciprocate. But avoid people who don't.

[mark303]

I kind of want to print this out and stick it to the wall.

[Raena77]

For dart practice?

[mark303]

Originally Posted by Raena77

For dart practice?

For truth

[Raena77]

Not all is true.