Asked out a girl but... (date, lover, Valentine's Day, calling) - Dating, marriage, boyfriends, girlfriends, men, women, friends, attraction ... - City-Data Forum

Quasar06 · 02-27-2010, 07:37 PM

So, I asked out a girl (who is also kind of a recent friend and met thru other mutual friends) on Valentine's day knowing she was working late on both days of the Valentine's day weekend. When I asked, she replied saying she doesn't know if she can make it this (Valentine's day) weekend but, maybe she can go grab some food next week.

So, I took that as a rejection and didn't reply to her until next day morning. Then when I delayed the response (text), she kept initiating the conversations through texts for 2 days after I asked. And we both text back and forth. The subject of me asking never was brought up by her or me after that. So, I figured she was maybe trying to save the friendship by initiating the conversations and trying to get me out. So, we meet up for a citywide event get together and hang out. I meet up with her and we hang alone for about an hour and then one of her guy friends meets us for the rest of the night. Again, no mention of the asking out question. Just playing it cool and having random chit-chat.

So, right now its 1.5wks after last we met although, we did text back and forth. And today we finally meet up for something and she was like it's been awhile since I've seen you. I said "yeah". And I also think that she "hangs" out with me more than other "guy" friends in the group. She hangs out with them but, not one-on-one basis... Sometimes alone but, mostly in a group setting. I think I've hung with her more one-on-one, tho.

So, my question is: Did I interpret her response incorrectly? And should I ask her out again and make sure that the word "Date" is included to make clear that I want to take her out and not just another hang out?

Thanks,

mhounit · 02-27-2010, 07:41 PM

You won't know until you ask . What do you have to lose ?

yankeegirl313 · 02-27-2010, 07:42 PM

Stop over analyzing this, and just come out and ask her out on a date! Good luck!

(A little push)

findinghope · 02-27-2010, 07:42 PM

it's kind of weird to ask someone out on a first date for valentines day which is probably why she was trying to get a rain check from you. i bet she does want to go out with you, without the added pressure of a lover's holiday.

raa1371 · 02-27-2010, 07:42 PM

Yes, ask her out again. I don't see her response as rejection especially since she has 'hung out' since then.

Quasar06 · 02-27-2010, 07:46 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by findinghope

it's kind of weird to ask someone out on a first date for valentines day which is probably why she was trying to get a rain check from you. i bet she does want to go out with you, without the added pressure of a lover's holiday.

Well, that may be understandable. But, we did meet about 1.5months before Valentine's day. And did hang out couple times before.

The main problem here is that she doesn't flirt at ALL. I mean I touch her and put my arm around her back and stuff but, she doesn't do any of the "by the book" type flirting that can tell me she's interested and not just being nice/friendly...

yankeegirl313 · 02-27-2010, 07:51 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Quasar06

Well, that may be understandable. But, we did meet about 1.5months before Valentine's day. And did hang out couple times before.

The main problem here is that she doesn't flirt at ALL. I mean I touch her and put my arm around her back and stuff but, she doesn't do any of the "by the book" type flirting that can tell me she's interested and not just being nice/friendly...

All you can do is try...you don`t wanna waste to much time, and be put in the "friends zone."

Quasar06 · 02-27-2010, 07:54 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by yankeegirl313

All you can do is try...you don`t wanna waste to much time, and be put in the "friends zone."

Yeah, that's one thing I'm also thinking about.

I assume, you're a girl by your name? If so, what do you think about what I said about her not flirting? Does that mean anything..? I just don't want to make it all awkward if I ask her not having some idea that she's interested or not and then if she says no. That could back fire and be awkward...

yankeegirl313 · 02-27-2010, 08:00 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Quasar06

Yeah, that's one thing I'm also thinking about.

I assume, you're a girl by your name? If so, what do you think about what I said about her not flirting? Does that mean anything..? I just don't want to make it all awkward if I ask her not having some idea that she's interested or not and then if she says no. That could back fire and be awkward...

Well, it could be....but I guess thats the chance that you have to take, to go for something that you want!

Old Man Winter · 02-27-2010, 08:03 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by yankeegirl313

All you can do is try...you don`t wanna waste to much time, and be put in the "friends zone."

He is in the friends zone already. When you put your arm around her, does she reciprocate ? It doesnt sound like she is going out of the way to drop subtle hints to let you know she is interested. I never found it ideal to date within the friends circle, it makes things awkward. Dont text her, call her or ask her face to face, its too easy to be let down via text. I wouldnt push too hard asking repeatedly with no response, maybe back off and let her wonder why you have distanced yourself, let her do the calling, if she is interested she will call. If not, see if she has a sister

, kidding of course...... good luck