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Hey guys long story short. I was very tight with a group of coworkers. My new girlfriend (fairly new to the shift-met her at the job 3 months ago) doesn’t know anyone that well. We have sort of a tight knit group of friends on the shift. One of them planned a cottage trip this weekend, that I was invited to.. my girlfriend was NOT invited, i invited her myself. I had a fight with one of the guys going, because he’s texting my girlfriend saying messed up things about me.. that I’m a player, that I’m crazy. This guy was my best friend so I was shocked to find out. I confronted him and we had to be separated, I was ready to punch his face in. Now, I’m UNinvited from the cottage to “avoid tension”.
My girlfriend still wants to go.. I can’t help but feel betrayed about this? She didn’t defend me when he was talking sh*t about me. and she doesn’t even know these people. I told her how upset I was and we had an argument about it. When everything blew over, I felt controlling and kind of ****ty, so I told her I want her to have fun and I don’t wanna be that guy.. she considered my opinion for a sec, but she is still going? Am I overreacting?
What’s most upsetting is I know how toxic this guy is. While I don’t think he’ll make a pass at her, I’m not comfortable with my gf hanging around him. Even though 12 people are going, it’s an overnight thing. Thoughts?
I think he’s going to make a pass at her and he’s interested in her so that’s why he was texting her crappy messages about you. It also seems odd that she still wants to go even though she doesn’t know any of these people. Seems she is intrigued with this other guy and wants to get to know him, otherwise in view of the incident that just occurred surrounding this trip of which you are now uninvited, why would she want to continue to go. I’d be upset and it’s not very nice of her. Unfortunately you can’t control her and come off as a creep, so it’s kind of a no win situation. I don’t know what the future holds for this relationship with her which is itself rather new.
Based on your story, quite odd and disconcerting that she still wants to go to this party. Personally I would of asked her why she wanted to go after what happened, and if I wasn't satisfied with the answer I'd just tell her guess we weren't meant to be and I'd move on.
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As Sam said the lesson here is don't date at work. Sounds like she did you a favor anyway if she's up to going still. Cut your losses and consider it a learning experience.
It appears that she doesn't like you as much as you like her. I don't understand why she would want to go without you when she wasn't invited by anyone else in the group. One other comment; a man controls his temper and never over reacts to put himself in a position to be separated to avoid a bigger confrontation.
Break up with her before the trip so she can sleep with this guy guilt free. Do your part to help save her soul. Then look for a new job, because you're going to be the odd man out from now on. At the new job, don't date anyone.
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