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Old 03-06-2010, 10:41 AM
 
51 posts, read 52,041 times
Reputation: 28
Default this is my online dating profile, what do you think?

hi my nickname is brooke. I have a nice voice that can melt your heart. I dance - Salsa and Samba are my favorite. Economics and art are my passion.
I am looking for a guy:
- taller than 5'10''
- employed, if you have your own profitable business, you get an extra point
- has a bachelor degree or above; or a designation will do (CFA, CMA, CA, etc)
- down-to-earth and romantic: yes, they can co-exist. A bunch of flowers is always a good start.
- has a car
- has an interest in life and the world: you read news, you take efforts to make life interesting.
- short hair, if you are bald, I am perfectly fine with it
- loving and affectionate. I am comfortable being given a lot of affection
- a sense of humor. I don't drink, so only laughters make me high.
- you don't take yourself too seriously. you dance even though you know you are not a good dancer; you don't have to be perfect, but you are confident and know it is ok to not be perfect.
- if you are persistent and a bit bold ,that's good. I think it is musculinity.
- I like you take the lead. but also let me make the decision when it matters my life.
- you don't have to be good looking, but you dress well.
- I am not a big camper. you can go camping with your guy friends, and I can give you a massage when you come back.
- honest. I am good at the card game "Bluff", so honesty is your best policy
to be continued
I thank you for messaging me, but only the qualified will be messaged back. So to save your precious time, only message me if you meet the above criteria.
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Old 03-06-2010, 10:43 AM
 
Location: Bergen County, NJ
1,612 posts, read 2,037,117 times
Reputation: 1781
Quote:
Originally Posted by sofiama View Post
but only the qualified will be messaged back. So to save your precious time, only message me if you meet the above criteria.
haaa !!! That's funny ...

Good luck with that-
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Old 03-06-2010, 10:59 AM
 
1,222 posts, read 1,460,101 times
Reputation: 1019
I think you should focus more on describing yourself and your interests as opposed to listing your criteria. It's fine to have wants - but your 'profile' sounds like a want ad.

Think of an online dating profile as a first introduction to someone new. You don't walk up to a guy at a bar and start listing qualities to see if he has them, you find common ground or something to talk about.

I have a feeling you profile won't be attracting any men but the narcissistic.
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Old 03-06-2010, 11:03 AM
 
5,148 posts, read 1,468,537 times
Reputation: 2865
Do you want honesty? Cuz when I'm honest around here people send me evil Rep Point messages. EDIT: Since when do I care what people think? LOL

hi my nickname is brooke. I have a nice voice that can melt your heart.--I'm not attracted to voices off the bat. So I don't know how many would care to be honest. I dance - Salsa and Samba are my favorite. Economics and art are my passion.
I am looking for a guy:
- taller than 5'10''--I'm 6'2" and would stop reading right there, but for the review I'll keep going
- employed, if you have your own profitable business, you get an extra point--I haven't been without a job since I've been 15 and 9 months. Why would unemployed guys even be spending money on online dating? It seems unnecessary to say
- has a bachelor degree or above; or a designation will do (CFA, CMA, CA, etc)--I have a BA. But why don't you like guys that would've went to a technical school and only have an AA? Or a guy that was in the military?
- down-to-earth and romantic: yes, they can co-exist. A bunch of flowers is always a good start.--I love sending flowers. But I'm stubborn and don't like being told that I have to.
- has a car--What city do you live in? In PHX you can't even get to a market without a car.
- has an interest in life and the world: you read news, you take efforts to make life interesting. --News is propoganda. And how many guys don't take an interest in the world? I've yet to meet one.
- short hair, if you are bald, I am perfectly fine with it--That seems shallow honestly. I have short hair, so I'm not like jealous but that's just kind of goofy I thinks.
- loving and affectionate. I am comfortable being given a lot of affection--OK princess.
- a sense of humor. I don't drink, so only laughters make me high.--I don't want to feel like I'm an entertainer.
- you don't take yourself too seriously. you dance even though you know you are not a good dancer; you don't have to be perfect, but you are confident and know it is ok to not be perfect. --Thank you for letting me not be perfect.
- if you are persistent and a bit bold ,that's good. I think it is musculinity. --If that is really a profile, why didn't you spell check that? I'm not huge on going through everything with a fine tooth comb. But if it is going to last somewhere, you should write out "masculinity"
- I like you take the lead. but also let me make the decision when it matters my life. --Guys will get confused by a statement like this.
- you don't have to be good looking, but you dress well.--That's subjective
- I am not a big camper. you can go camping with your guy friends, and I can give you a massage when you come back. --Thanks princess
- honest. I am good at the card game "Bluff", so honesty is your best policy--Do you get lied to a lot? That smells of baggage.
to be continued
I thank you for messaging me, but only the qualified will be messaged back. So to save your precious time, only message me if you meet the above criteria.--Why end that being snotty?

I'm not trying to be rude. I'm just Don Drapering it, since it IS an advertisement...and those are the thoughts that run through my head. Since I think I hit a lot of what you said you wanted, I would assume that I would at least marginally be your target audience.

What would hook me is showing who you are, even if it's just a brief window. That felt like you were looking for ingredients to make a stew.

Last edited by JSizzle225; 03-06-2010 at 11:24 AM..
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Old 03-06-2010, 11:10 AM
 
Location: Nashville, Tn
7,917 posts, read 10,933,188 times
Reputation: 5288
I think it's pretty good but I agree that it might come across like someone who's presenting a job opening and is looking for men to fill out a survey to determine if they're qualified and if they're not they need to move on. I agree that you've got to be specific about what you're looking for but I think I would try to change the tone of it and not sound too businesslike when what you're really looking for is romance.
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Old 03-06-2010, 11:14 AM
 
7,036 posts, read 5,444,083 times
Reputation: 6123
Quote:
Originally Posted by swmrbird View Post
I think you should focus more on describing yourself and your interests as opposed to listing your criteria. It's fine to have wants - but your 'profile' sounds like a want ad.

Think of an online dating profile as a first introduction to someone new. You don't walk up to a guy at a bar and start listing qualities to see if he has them, you find common ground or something to talk about.

I have a feeling you profile won't be attracting any men but the narcissistic.
That is what I was thinking.

There is alot of demands that are being made here.

"I like lots of affection..."

"Must have a bachelors degree..."

Sounds like a want ad for a job.
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Old 03-06-2010, 11:21 AM
 
Location: long island ny
4,407 posts, read 1,890,766 times
Reputation: 20216
I 'have to spread my rep love around' so I couldn't again JSizzle225, but I tend to agree with you.
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Old 03-06-2010, 11:24 AM
 
Location: South FL
9,444 posts, read 9,333,188 times
Reputation: 7860
Quote:
Originally Posted by sofiama View Post
hi my nickname is brooke. I have a nice voice that can melt your heart. I dance - Salsa and Samba are my favorite. Economics and art are my passion.
I am looking for a guy:
- taller than 5'10''
- employed, if you have your own profitable business, you get an extra point
- has a bachelor degree or above; or a designation will do (CFA, CMA, CA, etc)
- down-to-earth and romantic: yes, they can co-exist. A bunch of flowers is always a good start.
- has a car
- has an interest in life and the world: you read news, you take efforts to make life interesting.
- short hair, if you are bald, I am perfectly fine with it
- loving and affectionate. I am comfortable being given a lot of affection
- a sense of humor. I don't drink, so only laughters make me high.
- you don't take yourself too seriously. you dance even though you know you are not a good dancer; you don't have to be perfect, but you are confident and know it is ok to not be perfect.
- if you are persistent and a bit bold ,that's good. I think it is musculinity.
- I like you take the lead. but also let me make the decision when it matters my life.
- you don't have to be good looking, but you dress well.
- I am not a big camper. you can go camping with your guy friends, and I can give you a massage when you come back.
- honest. I am good at the card game "Bluff", so honesty is your best policy
to be continued
I thank you for messaging me, but only the qualified will be messaged back. So to save your precious time, only message me if you meet the above criteria.
Too many demands to scare anyone off.
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Old 03-06-2010, 11:25 AM
 
Location: Wherever women are
19,023 posts, read 12,762,027 times
Reputation: 11309
Quote:
Originally Posted by sofiama View Post
hi my nickname is brooke. I have a nice voice that can melt your heart. I dance - Salsa and Samba are my favorite. Economics and art are my passion.
I am looking for a guy:
- taller than 5'10''
- employed, if you have your own profitable business, you get an extra point
- has a bachelor degree or above; or a designation will do (CFA, CMA, CA, etc)
- down-to-earth and romantic: yes, they can co-exist. A bunch of flowers is always a good start.
- has a car
- has an interest in life and the world: you read news, you take efforts to make life interesting.
- short hair, if you are bald, I am perfectly fine with it
- loving and affectionate. I am comfortable being given a lot of affection
- a sense of humor. I don't drink, so only laughters make me high.
- you don't take yourself too seriously. you dance even though you know you are not a good dancer; you don't have to be perfect, but you are confident and know it is ok to not be perfect.
- if you are persistent and a bit bold ,that's good. I think it is musculinity.
- I like you take the lead. but also let me make the decision when it matters my life.
- you don't have to be good looking, but you dress well.
- I am not a big camper. you can go camping with your guy friends, and I can give you a massage when you come back.
- honest. I am good at the card game "Bluff", so honesty is your best policy
to be continued
I thank you for messaging me, but only the qualified will be messaged back. So to save your precious time, only message me if you meet the above criteria.
When you're asking for a review, you're shooting yourself in the foot

Now the gang's gonna tear you apart.

When doing things like these, you need to tell yourself that whatever you are doing is right. Why would you want to play by the rules of the reviewers?? You're gonna fish for the guy, you're not fishing for someone else, right?

You're gonnabe disappointed as the thread packs replies. Stop reading and go fish for men
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Old 03-06-2010, 11:35 AM
 
550 posts, read 754,437 times
Reputation: 335
You've written I dont know how many demands but barely anything of what you offer? what Do I get if I win your heart?

I like that you spelled masculinity wrong, tells me your're not a neatfreak...

delete all the things saying "i can accept you even if you're this or that or not perfect" make the list shorter instead.

Alot of your demands can be summerized as "I want a straight shooter, somebody to build a future with" or something like that...

Degree? -Big red flag being waved in my head reading this demand in particular, another red flag waving because of the number of demands... I would not message you for a date, and remember this comes from a rather desperate guy who'd take just about anything

I've been rude but honest (this was one of your criteria right?)
Well good luck finding your guy
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