Welcome to City-Data.com Forum!
U.S. CitiesCity-Data Forum Index
Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Relationships
 [Register]
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
View detailed profile (Advanced) or search
site with Google Custom Search

Search Forums  (Advanced)
Reply Start New Thread
 
Old 03-06-2010, 11:27 PM
 
3,111 posts, read 8,042,295 times
Reputation: 4272

Advertisements

Nope...you blew it. No do overs.

She is probably wondering why some dude has been staring at her for 3 years, and never said hi. You are on the creepy list.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message

 
Old 03-06-2010, 11:35 PM
 
66 posts, read 109,943 times
Reputation: 23
Yeah, I've been thinking maybe I could have turned it into casual fun like that night or in the near future, which is part of why Ive been killn myself over this.

And yeah, I think that most people that spend alot of time working out at the gym could be considered into themselves. I have dated another personal trainer who was very egoistical for a woman.

SO, heres my carefully calculated plan. I'll ask her how her injured arm is feeling. If she is friendly, I'll drop the whole apology thing. I'll tell her I've been at the gym almost as long as she has and shes one of the best looking girls Ive seen there and that we obviously have some things in common.

If she is less friendly, which I assume she will be, I'll aplogize for ending the conversation abruptly and tell her it wasn't her fault at all, just mine. I wont get into the me being nervous thing - she can read between the lines on that. I'll then move on with the her being hot thing and ask her if I can buy her a drink or lunch sometime.

I think thats the safest approach and gives me the best chance to redeem myself? What do you think?
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 03-06-2010, 11:45 PM
 
66 posts, read 109,943 times
Reputation: 23
Quote:
Originally Posted by DrEarth View Post
Nope...you blew it. No do overs.

She is probably wondering why some dude has been staring at her for 3 years, and never said hi. You are on the creepy list.
I should of said this before. All up until the last two months, the only times I have seen her around have been when she was busy training a client or in her office with the glass door closed. I did have one single good opportunity about a year and a half ago to talk to her and was half-dead from my lifting. Since early December, she happened to be working out 2-3 times a week while I was, hence the door opened for me to talk to her.

Plus, Ive gone months at a time without even seeing her there at all and assumed she didnt work there anymore. She has been looking at me just like I have been looking at her.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 03-07-2010, 12:32 AM
 
Location: SXSW
640 posts, read 1,729,715 times
Reputation: 622
Quote:
Originally Posted by cloot310 View Post
Yeah, I've been thinking maybe I could have turned it into casual fun like that night or in the near future, which is part of why Ive been killn myself over this.

And yeah, I think that most people that spend alot of time working out at the gym could be considered into themselves. I have dated another personal trainer who was very egoistical for a woman.

SO, heres my carefully calculated plan. I'll ask her how her injured arm is feeling. If she is friendly, I'll drop the whole apology thing. I'll tell her I've been at the gym almost as long as she has and shes one of the best looking girls Ive seen there and that we obviously have some things in common.

If she is less friendly, which I assume she will be, I'll aplogize for ending the conversation abruptly and tell her it wasn't her fault at all, just mine. I wont get into the me being nervous thing - she can read between the lines on that. I'll then move on with the her being hot thing and ask her if I can buy her a drink or lunch sometime.

I think thats the safest approach and gives me the best chance to redeem myself? What do you think?
Hmmm..if she is less friendly, I wouldn't apologize about anything. She MAY however, be just as nervous about talking to you as you clearly are to her. I would just try to make conversation (like the injured arm thing)...if she seems receptive, go forward. If not, take it as a sign that she doesn't want anything further. And don't compliment her with "you are one of the hottest girls here"...I'm trying to think of how I would take that and I dont know...it just doesnt seem right.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 03-07-2010, 02:25 AM
 
Location: Wherever I want to be... ;)
2,536 posts, read 9,916,258 times
Reputation: 1995
Quote:
Originally Posted by cloot310 View Post
I roll at a lean 6' 225 and have always gotten alot of attention from women.
OH GOD.

Please don't use that phrase/term/atrosity EVER. AGAIN.


You roll??! Like, you're a ball with a diameter of six feet and a weight of 225 and you roll down a hill?! Or the street, perhaps? GAH.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 03-07-2010, 08:07 AM
 
66 posts, read 109,943 times
Reputation: 23
hehe yeah maybe there is an age difference here showing up in my slang or something. would "I go at..." be better? I really only mentioned that to give a better idea of the situation, not to brag.

anyway, lots of different opinion here on what I should do. I guess the unknown variable is what kind of girl she is and how she has responded. I know one thing for sure - I can't get caught looking at her anymore.

The other question is when I try this again. Do you guys think I should give this some time? It might be a week or so before I have a good opp to talk to her again. Or, I can ask her how her arm is doing kinda in passing when she is semi-busy soon, then approach her again to talk when she is available.

anyway, the guy on top of this page might be right and its possible I blew it for now. We are both going to ber at this gym fir a while so maybe she'll let go of this a month or two down the line and not be freaked by it anymore.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 03-07-2010, 08:16 AM
 
3,440 posts, read 8,029,992 times
Reputation: 2402
Quote:
Originally Posted by cloot310 View Post
Alright.... So I just broke up with my gf a couple weeks ago and was faithful oh her the whole 2+ years we were together. I live in the middle of a major city and have been a member at an insanely busy Bally for about three years now. Most of the PTs there are total douches and I have always felt a rift them - mostly the standard testosterone driven gym posturing, which is no big deal to me. However, there is this one extremely attractive PT Staff that I've been exchanging eye contact with for the entire THREE YEARS- you name it, walking past each other, through multiple mirrors, definitely not a figment of my imagination. This girl is extremely hot, knows it and loves the attention. Both of us are caucasian and two of the few whiteys in this gym. I roll at a lean 6' 225 and have always gotten alot of attention from women. I know she is friends with the other PTs there and probably has heard that they don't like me, or they think I'm an a-hole.

Soo, the other day, we walked right past each other and she looked at my chest/shoulder region (def checking me out). I saw her doing some lat pulldowns about 15 minutes later and decided it was time to end the madness. I asked her if I could work in. She had earphones in her ears, pulled them out and said it was cool. She was also curling dbs so I asked her if it was back and bis day. She again pulls her earphones and mumbles "sorta" and puts them back in with no intention of talking to me. So Im thinking "wtf, this girl is has been looking at me like that for 3 years. I talk to her for the first time and THAT is the response I get."

I put it on the back burner and planned on trying it again in the near future. Over the next couple weeks, she started looking at me probably 2x as much as she was before. I started to get the sense she regretted not being friendlier before and wanted me to try it again. She showed up with her arm in a sling a few days ago and I had a good opportunity to approach her, so I did. She was extremely outgoing and friendly - totally the opposite of how she was before. We talked about her injury and how it was impacting her PTing, etc. I then said "you've been her a long time eh?" She said "yeah, three and half years." After this I FROZE like a virgin 15 year old and couldn't think of anything to say. So, I walked away like a beeyotch at which point I heard her mumble something under her breath intended to challenge my manhood, like some women do when they feel rejected. To make matters worse, we continued to work out in the same area of the gym and I never restarted the conversation.

So, I feel like a total ***** about this whole thing am plotting my next move. Like I said, this girl knows shes hot and I def got the feeling she felt rejected - like "I gave you an opportunity to talk and you fd up". In reality it was just me having not approached a girl like that in a loong time and freezing up. I totally got the vibe she felt she did something I didnt like. Also interesting, when I first asked about her arm she said she broke her wrist. I acted surprised bc it was only in splint then she corrected herself saying it was a sprain.


Should I just approach her next week and ask how her arm is doing and gauge her response? Im expecting the distant and cold tone from her. I already have gotten some smirks from her colleagues like she told them about it. Would it be a bad move to apologize for abruptly walking away like that and what excuse could I have for doing that? I do feel slightly less bad about it cus of how she acted the first time I tried to talk to her, but damn this girl is fine and Ive been wanting her for a long time.
You made the mistake of trying to talk to a girl when she was working out. Unless you have no choice, don't bother women when they are working out; many just don't like it because they are very serious about loosing weight, and they don't want to talk to cute guys when they are all sweaty and stinky. This is why many women prefer all girl gyms.

As far as talking to her again, you're beating around the bush with her. Not sure what your finances are, and if you have a car, but just walk up to her when she is not working or working out and ask her out for a cup of coffee. You can't go wrong with that.

Last edited by Morphous01; 03-07-2010 at 08:30 AM..
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 03-07-2010, 08:32 AM
 
3,440 posts, read 8,029,992 times
Reputation: 2402
Quote:
Originally Posted by thepinksquid View Post
OH GOD.

Please don't use that phrase/term/atrosity EVER. AGAIN.


You roll??! Like, you're a ball with a diameter of six feet and a weight of 225 and you roll down a hill?! Or the street, perhaps? GAH.

lol....
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 03-07-2010, 08:51 AM
 
Location: North America
1,089 posts, read 2,395,712 times
Reputation: 1099
Blueseas makes an excellent point. This girl could easily be just as nervous of talking to you as you are of her. In which case admitting that you were a 'little lost for words' because you find her so hot would put her at ease and be a good thing.

I don't think you blew it, I bet that sort of thing has happened to her numerous times if she's as hot as you say she is. A good rule of thumb to keep in mind is that people are always more concerned about how they are perceived. They assume others are far more judgmental of them than they are of others. So there's a much better chance that she thinks she's somehow to blame for how that conversation ended, than she is to think you're a loser.

My final bit of advice is: Don't wait. Just go tell her you find her attractive and would like to take her out for a drink or lunch sometime. A sincere compliment covers over awkward mistakes 99/100
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 03-07-2010, 09:05 AM
 
12,573 posts, read 15,533,334 times
Reputation: 8960
Quote:
Originally Posted by CESpeed View Post
It was an unnecesary mention. Again, he's using the fact that there are only a few white people to pick from to choose her.

That's racist whether you like it or not or want to accept it or not. There was absolutely no reason to say there are only a few white people at this gym while he's explaing why he choose this girl to flirt with.

And for the record, people usually have to point out comments like that to me, I very rarely see racism in my day-to-day life or in these posts. And I know I'm not oppressed, I have a college degree, a newish car and a decent paying job. His comment was racist, period.
Predjudice? Probably.
Racist? No. If anything is racist about the statement it would be his referral to the white people as "whiteys."
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.

Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.


Reply
Please update this thread with any new information or opinions. This open thread is still read by thousands of people, so we encourage all additional points of view.

Quick Reply
Message:

Over $104,000 in prizes was already given out to active posters on our forum and additional giveaways are planned!

Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Relationships

All times are GMT -6. The time now is 03:57 PM.

© 2005-2024, Advameg, Inc. · Please obey Forum Rules · Terms of Use and Privacy Policy · Bug Bounty

City-Data.com - Contact Us - Archive 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37 - Top