Emotional Needs.... (how to, married, man, love)

[CArizona]

Some people grow up in families where no one ever talks about emotional needs...or even feelings. Have you noticed this? It's hard to explain what emotional needs are to someone who grew up in these type of families...The whole concept seems foreign to them...People like this are well-versed when it comes to understanding physical needs...but feelings and emotional needs just don't seem important to them...Have you run into people like this or dated or married someone like this?....How would you define an emotional need? Thanks....

[AllAboutEve]

Originally Posted by CArizona

Some people grow up in families where no one ever talks about emotional needs...or even feelings. Have you noticed this? It's hard to explain what emotional needs are to someone who grew up in these type of families...The whole concept seems foreign to them...People like this are well-versed when it comes to understanding physical needs...but feelings and emotional needs just don't seem important to them...Have you run into people like this or dated or married someone like this?....How would you define an emotional need? Thanks....

Yes, I dated someone like this for an extended period of time, it drove me crazy. He would never talk about his feelings, and didn't want to hear me talk about mine.

[CArizona]

Some people sure seem all locked-up and rigid and one-dimensional because they don't seem to know how to let themselves feel and "free-flow." Have you noticed this? Or they are just afraid to "cut loose." Withour access to their feelings or a sense that everyone has emotional needs....they live in a black and white world that limits what they think about or what they can talk about etc...

[BacktoNE]

I grew up in one of those families. No feelings every shown or discussed.


Somehow I met and married the most fabulously open man and in almost no time, I found myself able to talk with him about absolutely everything. Go figure. There truly isn't anything that we haven't talked about over the past 11+ years.

[Yzette]

One person's "openness" is another person's "touchy-feely."

One person's "emotional distance" is another person's "quiet resolve."

After divorcing touchy-feely, I'm thrilled to be with quiet resolve.

[Tia 914]

Originally Posted by CArizona

Some people grow up in families where no one ever talks about emotional needs...or even feelings. Have you noticed this? It's hard to explain what emotional needs are to someone who grew up in these type of families...The whole concept seems foreign to them...People like this are well-versed when it comes to understanding physical needs...but feelings and emotional needs just don't seem important to them...Have you run into people like this or dated or married someone like this?....How would you define an emotional need? Thanks....

o.k., one thing I've noticed is occasionally when I have a " " as my first response to something, it later turns out I know what the person is talking about but I've known it by a different word/term...
so, could you possibly elaborate: what the heck are "emotional needs"?

[the minx]

Originally Posted by CArizona

Some people grow up in families where no one ever talks about emotional needs...or even feelings. Have you noticed this? It's hard to explain what emotional needs are to someone who grew up in these type of families...The whole concept seems foreign to them...People like this are well-versed when it comes to understanding physical needs...but feelings and emotional needs just don't seem important to them...Have you run into people like this or dated or married someone like this?....How would you define an emotional need? Thanks....

I think everyone knows what emotional need is. I think some people just aren't comfortable with sharing or being a part of someone else's emotional issues.

[CArizona]

What are emotional needs? Well we all need attention...Some people need more attention than others do...We need to feel seen and heard and noticed and taken seriously...We need to feel valued and loved...We need encouragement and support when it comes to our dreams and goals...We need to have a sense that we belong and aren't alone...Can you think of anything else that we might need?

[CArizona]

Originally Posted by CArizona

What are emotional needs? Well we all need attention...Some people need more attention than others do...We need to feel seen and heard and noticed and taken seriously...We need to feel valued and loved...We need encouragement and support when it comes to our dreams and goals...We need to have a sense that we belong and aren't alone...Can you think of anything else that we might need?

I thought of a few more emotional needs...I think we all long to feel safe and secure. There are times when we all need privacy and personal space...We need to feel some measure of power and control over our lives...It's not healthy to feel controlled or lacking when it comes to boundarie....I think we all vary in our need for affection and closeness.....What would you add? Thanks.

[Katlakat]

I like to be able to go crawl in DH's lap and just wrap my arms around his neck. Security? Insecurity? who knows, but it soothes the soul, and I consider that an emotional need.

I was unable to do that to my father as a kid, he was away across oceans working to support us. Mom had 5 other kids to take care of, so I'm glad my husband smiles when I do that. I'm also glad I'm still small enough to fit in his lap! LOL