Can players be good fathers? (guys, kids, advice, friend)

[NotARedneck]

Originally Posted by WhyShouldIWorry

They are THE BEST role models for adolescent boys. Not only do they give them a genetic boost but they are also good at training them to play the field. Essential skills in today's hook up culture.

My dad only taught me how to throw a baseball!

Ladies. If you want to raise happy young sons, keep your ex in their life even if you hate his guts.

Perhaps as they get older, he can take them along on some of his dates. Learning to sling the BS smoothly and thereby developing confidence with women is the only important thing about getting into relationships that can actually be learned. I'm assuming that they will already have the other characteristics to attract women. If not, having the kid along might crimp his style.

However, usually its like father, like son.

You should note that many boys of single mothers pick up these skills by observing the men their mother brings around, so this might not be essential. If you still have the urge to kill him, have him stay away!

[nichirenx]

Originally Posted by Braunwyn

I'd like to see what a typical schedule looks like so I can wrap my head around this. Maybe they're p/t PUAs?

lolz.

Not sure if it can be labeled.
It might just be the local area and common culture of our city.
I live in the 'bible belt'.
Maybe if it were a larger and more diverse locale things would be different.

And some women here and in the surrounding areas are notoriously easy to
get if that's a guys method.
its weird, even some of the women looking for husbands by their own admission still get pulled in.

[Braunwyn]

Originally Posted by nichirenx

lolz.

Not sure if it can be labeled.
It might just be the local area and common culture of our city.
I live in the 'bible belt'.
Maybe if it were a larger and more diverse locale things would be different.

And some women here and in the surrounding areas are notoriously easy to
get if that's a guys method.
its weird, even some of the women looking for husbands by their own admission still get pulled in.

It's probably just my perspective. I was a huge partier back in my day and relished one alternative life style to the next. Then I decided to buckle down (college, career, home, husband) and I don't know how people manage it all. I'm tuckered out most of the time.

[SweetBecky]

This guy is definitely a party boy. My friend says it's useless to call him on a Sunday.

[nichirenx]

Originally Posted by Braunwyn

It's probably just my perspective. I was a huge partier back in my day and relished one alternative life style to the next. Then I decided to buckle down (college, career, home, husband) and I don't know how people manage it all. I'm tuckered out most of the time.

Husband says it all.
When you are building a life with a spouse things are totally different.
That does take a lot of effort along with all your other responsibilities.

I do know some PUA's who are married.
But their wives get the same time and attention as their outside conquests, or just enough so they will not leave.

[Braunwyn]

Originally Posted by nichirenx

Husband says it all.

Yea, husband is a lot of responsibility and requires quite a bit of time. That's why I figure a kid would be all that and much more. We're trying right now and I don't know how we're going to find the time to exist lol.

When you are building a life with a spouse things are totally different.
That does take a lot of effort along with all your other responsibilities.

I do know some PUA's who are married.
But their wives get the same time and attention as their outside conquests, or just enough so they will not leave.

Again, my impressions are only based on PUAs I know of online and what they say online. I don't know if any of it is really true off line. So, take that for how little it's worth.

[Ameiko]

Like most people, I can't stand guys who are players. They are nothing more than heartless jerks who go around toying with people's feelings. They are disgusting, self centered and just fool around to hide their insecurity.

They also get laid alot, which is why men act as players. Don't want men to be players, reward the non-players. Until women do that instead of spreading their legs to the players while letting the non-players go twist in the wind, you have no one to blame BUT YOURSELVES!!!

[Ameiko]

Originally Posted by xsthomas

Most players are no different than drug addicts or alcoholics, looking to fill a void, or a problem from their past. Going from relationship to relationship using whatever it takes to fulfill themselves. Most like I said. The rest just think they are gods gift to women for some reason. Not good role models or someone you can trust. Some will settle down, but like the old saying, a leopard never changes its spots. They will always have a wandering eye.

Would you apply this to party girls as well? You know, the ones who party with bad boys until they have 50+ sexual partners and THEN decide to settle down with that one nice guy who she kept in reserve?

Just checking.

Anyway, yeah some players will never change but you want to know what a player REALLY is? That's a guy who can get laid on at least a semi-regular basis which still places him way below most women on the sexual food chain. He'd have to be a rock star or hip hop artist to approach the sexual opportunities that a moderately attractive woman does.

At the end of the day, don't hate the player but hate the game. Don't punish the men who have figured out a way into a woman's pants when women have made the US into a sexual prison.

[Ameiko]

A friend of mine got to meet this guy who at first seemed like a really nice person. He's good looking, intelligent, funny, high paying job, well, he had most things women want.

And thus, he has several women in his life. Welcome to the current sexual game that produces some big winners and many losers.

They started dating and apparently he wanted sex very early in the relationship but she was head over heels with him and things went too fast.

NEWSFLASH: men date women primarily to get laid. Don't like it? Start bending back the bars of the sexual prison that you have constructed for men (anti-prostitution laws, IMBRA, etc...) otherwise men will seek to be players to get what they want and need.

We used to talk about him and I remember her saying how in love she was, that she had finally met the perfect guy for her.

For me it had always seemed too perfect to be true. And I was right. It turns out that this fantastic guy had been sleeping with several women in his office while he was dating her.

Should have gone for that quiet nice guy instead. Oh well.

Again, for my surprise, he took an active role in the pregnancy and was quite thrilled when their cute baby boy was born. The babyis know 3 months old and there isn't much he can do with him, but he goes to see his son several times a week, he likes to bath him and doesn't mind changing a nappy at all. He calls almost every day and pays more money than the court demanded.

Obviously my friend is still very resentful and hurted by him and feels uncomfortable around him

You friend needs to grow the hell up. This guy is going above and beyond and I salute him. She needs to put aside her personal feelings of vengeance and go with what is best for the child, i.e. to have a father.

but I've told her that, no matter what, she must let him see the child, he has every right to be with him.

I thank you for this.

However, she says he will be a bad role model to him since he carries on with his sexual affairs.

That's nonsense. She just wants to hurt this guy and is using the weapon that many women use against men: their own children. He sounds like he has his sex life compartmentalized from other parts of his life, like his kid's.

How much of how despise that guy for what he does to women, I have to give him credit for making an effort to be a father, most of these guys wouldn't do that.

Why despise men who have figured out the hoops to get into a woman's pants, especially given how few other options men have? Women define the men they want and then get upset when they get them? What is he doing that is so bad? Heck, he's probably showing these girls the times of their lives because he has so much experience with women.

As long as men do not claim to be exclusive when they are not, they are doing nothing wrong. That happened to me recently where one of the girls I was dating asked me flat out if I was seeing other women. I acknowledged that I was and that was that. We're still friends though.

Do you know any similar story? Do you think despite being players, these guys can be good to others and take care of their responsabilities as fathers?

Possible? Sure. Probable? Got me.

[Ameiko]

One nice thing about having a player for a father: less likely that the son will grow up to be someone like Gary Sodoni and shoot up a gym. THAT'S a plus in my book!