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Old 03-10-2010, 03:01 PM
 
1,780 posts, read 2,096,649 times
Reputation: 616

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Okay, I have a friend that is going through a tough breakup. They had a kid and were going to get married. Then one day, she said that she didnt love him any more. He is ripping himself apart because of this. I have tried to help him but I dont think he is listening.

So, I will now give others the advice I wish I would have gotten when I had my bad breakups, one was a divorce. This goes for both sides the breakuper and the breakupee.

1. DONT DO IT, YOU'LL REGRET IT. The first thing you will probably want to do is beg. I can tell you now, dont do it. If you are the one who is breaking it off. Dont give in to begging. It is weakness. Weakness that you dont want. You will only look like a fool who is weak. Some people even go as far to say that they cant live without someone. This is false. They/you lived just fine before you/them and will continue to live without you/them. You are not responsible for the actions of this person.

2. Revenge. This is also a bad idea. Revenge is nothing that is to be fooled around with. A breakup can leave people feeling angry or resentment. Trying to get revenge will not only hurt you in the long run but it will seal the deal for you never getting that person back and these days...news travels fast.

3. DO SEND IT. With modern technology it has made it easier to stay in contact with people we have once dated. Lets face it, with texting, myspace, twiter and other social networking sites it makes it impossible to get away from someone completely unless you delete your accounts and change your humber.

You will get the urge to text, call, or even email this person. Dont do it. Give them their space. There is a reason they broke up with you, deal with it or fix it. Obviously you or they were not good enough for the other.

4. DONT INVOLVE OTHERS. Dont go asking your ex's friends and family to talk to them. 9 out of 10 times they wont. All they will do is tell them that you asked them to and how pathetic you are.

5. DO SOMETHING. After a breakup most people will spend some time wallowing in pity. This is dumb. They broke up with you for a reason. Either you are too good for them or not good enough. Take a few days to think about what went wrong and if its something you can fix. FIX IT. The last thing you want to do is take time to get over someone. Get out there and start making some new friends. Realize I said friends, I didnt say go get yourself a new boyfriend or girlfriend. Get out and socialize, IN REAL LIFE, NOT ONLINE. Forget the online dating sites. These are generally for people who are desperate to find that one who is made just for them. I am not sorry to tell you this because you need to know. No one person is destined to be with you. There is nobody out there who will complete you.

6. HANG OUT. Call up your friends and hang out with them. Have a guys/girls night out. No boyfriends or girlfriends. No opposite sexes allowed. Go to the bar with the guys or go see a movie with the girls. Light up the town. I dont really care but take your mind off the situation. Force yourself to have a blast. If you find yourself thinking in pity mode. Slap yourself out of it. No person is worth stressing over like that.

I am sure there is more advice out there. please feel free to add anything you would like for advise.
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Old 03-10-2010, 03:04 PM
 
5,879 posts, read 7,970,465 times
Reputation: 2753
Quote:
Originally Posted by fractured_kidult View Post
Okay, I have a friend that is going through a tough breakup. They had a kid and were going to get married. Then one day, she said that she didnt love him any more. He is ripping himself apart because of this. I have tried to help him but I dont think he is listening.

So, I will now give others the advice I wish I would have gotten when I had my bad breakups, one was a divorce. This goes for both sides the breakuper and the breakupee.

1. DONT DO IT, YOU'LL REGRET IT. The first thing you will probably want to do is beg. I can tell you now, dont do it. If you are the one who is breaking it off. Dont give in to begging. It is weakness. Weakness that you dont want. You will only look like a fool who is weak. Some people even go as far to say that they cant live without someone. This is false. They/you lived just fine before you/them and will continue to live without you/them. You are not responsible for the actions of this person.

2. Revenge. This is also a bad idea. Revenge is nothing that is to be fooled around with. A breakup can leave people feeling angry or resentment. Trying to get revenge will not only hurt you in the long run but it will seal the deal for you never getting that person back and these days...news travels fast.

3. DO SEND IT. With modern technology it has made it easier to stay in contact with people we have once dated. Lets face it, with texting, myspace, twiter and other social networking sites it makes it impossible to get away from someone completely unless you delete your accounts and change your humber.

You will get the urge to text, call, or even email this person. Dont do it. Give them their space. There is a reason they broke up with you, deal with it or fix it. Obviously you or they were not good enough for the other.

4. DONT INVOLVE OTHERS. Dont go asking your ex's friends and family to talk to them. 9 out of 10 times they wont. All they will do is tell them that you asked them to and how pathetic you are.

5. DO SOMETHING. After a breakup most people will spend some time wallowing in pity. This is dumb. They broke up with you for a reason. Either you are too good for them or not good enough. Take a few days to think about what went wrong and if its something you can fix. FIX IT. The last thing you want to do is take time to get over someone. Get out there and start making some new friends. Realize I said friends, I didnt say go get yourself a new boyfriend or girlfriend. Get out and socialize, IN REAL LIFE, NOT ONLINE. Forget the online dating sites. These are generally for people who are desperate to find that one who is made just for them. I am not sorry to tell you this because you need to know. No one person is destined to be with you. There is nobody out there who will complete you.

6. HANG OUT. Call up your friends and hang out with them. Have a guys/girls night out. No boyfriends or girlfriends. No opposite sexes allowed. Go to the bar with the guys or go see a movie with the girls. Light up the town. I dont really care but take your mind off the situation. Force yourself to have a blast. If you find yourself thinking in pity mode. Slap yourself out of it. No person is worth stressing over like that.

I am sure there is more advice out there. please feel free to add anything you would like for advise.
Keep your toys, money, friends, family and pets. Forget about the women!!!!!!
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