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Celebrate because the grief, un-ending strife, and irreconcilable differences could be let go. Mourn b/c this could have happened sooner, and I/we could have gone on and further in our lives. Mourn b/c no child should grow up in two homes - but celebrate b/c a child should grow up in happy, loving homes, and with two homes, they now have the chance of being in the best of two worlds. Mourn because I held out for so much less. Celebrate because I can be happy with so much more. Mourn that I tolerated conflict for so long, and I sacrificed for what became worthless, without compromise from my partner, or acknowledgement of sacrifice. Celebrate with excitement for the little joys in life, and have no discomfort in finding my passions.
I am in a new relationship after being emotionally separated for 3 years, physically separated for 8+ years, and moved out of the same address for 11 months, and my child's co-parent works the relationship with our child as a fulcrum of her unhappiness and disease. My continued contacts with my 3 year old son are interrupted with 7 dropped connections in a 15 minute phone call, a child waking to the phone call or answering the phone notably tired, and a child stating, 'I'm not in the mood to talk with you," (3 year old children don't have the emotional repertoire, intellectual capacity, or the verbal skills to combine these varied experiences to create such a statement).
But when my son and I are together, it's unfettered happiness, discovery of wonder and laughter, and a connection between he and I that could not have been mined without the departure of his mother/my former spouse from the home. It's that kind of mourning and celebrating.
By the time the divorce was final I had already mourned the death of my marriage so it was a happy occasion. We didnt have kids so I didnt have that to deal with. Now, I still have a little anger when I think of him, but that too shall pass.
Hope all goes well for you.
I was indifferent. We had been legally separated for a year before our divorce went final, and I had no desire to remain married to her. No bitterness on my end, but no happy-dance either. The divorce papers were just that, papers.
I have thought of having a celebration when it is finalized. Have my friends and family over for a cookout. To celebrate a new chapter in my life.
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