U.S. CitiesCity-Data Forum Index
Happy Thanksgiving Day!
Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Relationships
 [Register]
Please register to participate in our discussions with 1.5 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Jump to a detailed profile or search
site with Google Custom Search

Search Forums  (Advanced)
Business Search - 14 Million verified businesses
Search for:  near: 
Reply Start New Thread
 
Old 03-14-2010, 11:05 AM
 
Location: Tempe, AZ
740 posts, read 689,988 times
Reputation: 441

Advertisements

Quote:
Originally Posted by cdubs3201 View Post
This is a girl I've been taking since this thread:
Does this mean you're out?

Yeah, so it's been 3 dates and this girl has left me NO window for me to make a move with the first kiss. I usually lay it on at least by date #2, we just had date #3 at my place on my couch watching a movie.

She walked 12 blocks to my apt (which I was impressed, I figured she'd take the bus or at least a cab), just to sit on the couch with me, watch a movie, have a glass of wine, and then LEAVE right as the movie ended. Given she arrived at my apt not until 9:40pm and it was late, but I walked her to the door and was going to make a move then but she did the QUICK HUG thing again. Seriously, wtf is up with this girl? Each time I think she's blowing me off or isn't interested, she calls and wants to hang out or talk. I usually like to see some sign of interest before I put myself completely on the line to go in for a kiss but the whole time she just looked so uncomfortable. So if she's so damn uncomfortable around me why the fck would she agree to walk 12 damn blocks to my apt and watch a movie with me?? Why keep talking to me at all??

I don't know the real reason, but it can't be good. I'm either getting played, she thinks of me as a friend, or she's using me. Either way, I'm not calling her again, and if she calls me I'll just tell her that I can tell she's not into me and that we shouldn't see each other anymore. Seriously, is dating supposed to suck this bad? Am I being retarded for feeling this way? I mean I really like the girl, but it's not worth having no idea where you stand and no opportunity to find out. I mean, come on, what am I supposed to do? Just let her keep leading me on? Am I supposed to outright ask her "hey, why are you being so damn shady?"

God I hate dating. I need to stop.
Before I weigh in I need some information. During the movie did you hold her hand, put your arm around her during the movie, sit close, do anything you would not do with a friend, etc.? If I know this I might be able to give a more valid opinion

Also, you should have walked her home a) because it is polite and b) walking at night is a great chance to put your arm around someone, especially if it is cold and leads into a kiss quite nicely
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message

 
Old 03-14-2010, 11:28 AM
 
2,608 posts, read 2,874,467 times
Reputation: 2024
Ok, to clear up the walking her home issue: I did offer, and I offered to help her find a cab, she said no I'll be fine. The tricky part to this is, she is a PHYSICAL THERAPIST and I had DOUBLE KNEE SURGERY about 2 months ago and I'm still recovering. She knows this, she knows it's very physically challenging for me to walk long distances. I don't think this is an issue with her at all. I walked her home both of the other two dates.

Secondly, there really wasn't any physical touching on the couch, except she came and sat right next to me so we were I guess pretty close, but there was no hand touching, no arm around the shoulder, no kisses on the cheek. I tried to get a little conversation out of her during the movie but she seemed so distant for someone sitting right next to you, she seemed guarded. This seemed odd as she was the one who sat right next to me, yet she gave me no signal for anything more than that. Our other two dates she was pretty conversational, but not last night. I'm very experienced in these dating situations and I do lay the kiss on and I know how to read the situations, but this girl is confusing the hell out of me. She gives NO buying signals yet keeps wanting to spend time with me, it makes no sense.

Lastly, maybe I am screwed up and didn't realize it. My parents divorced about 5 years ago, and I had some pretty ugly relationships around that time that ended rough. I never felt like I had an issue but if feeling this way over dating isn't normal then maybe I shouldn't be seeing this girl anymore, or anyone for that matter. It really isn't that fun for me. I guess I've just been burned enough times in the past to where I'd like to know where I stand early on so if it's not "happening" I can just walk away first without getting hurt too much from it. But when I date a girl like this that I really like but is a tougher book to read than Moby Dick, I guess it's just frustrating as all hell.

I don't know what I'm going to do from here. I know I can't ask her, that's a huge no-no, maybe I'll just let her call me and if I don't hear from her I can just rest easy.

Last edited by cdubs3201; 03-14-2010 at 11:37 AM..
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 03-14-2010, 11:35 AM
Ep-
 
2,015 posts, read 2,289,235 times
Reputation: 2274
she sits right next to you you put your arm around her
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 03-14-2010, 11:40 AM
 
Location: Tempe, AZ
740 posts, read 689,988 times
Reputation: 441
Quote:
Originally Posted by cdubs3201 View Post
Ok, to clear up the walking her home issue: I did offer, and I offered to help her find a cab, she said no I'll be fine. The tricky part to this is, she is a PHYSICAL THERAPIST and I had DOUBLE KNEE SURGERY about 2 months ago and I'm still recovering. She knows this, she knows it's very physically challenging for me to walk long distances. I don't think this is an issue with her at all. I walked her home both of the other two dates.
Secondly, there really wasn't any physical touching on the couch, except she came and sat right next to me so we were I guess pretty close, but there was no hand touching, no arm around the shoulder, no kisses on the cheek. I tried to get a little conversation out of her during the movie but she seemed so distant for someone sitting right next to you, she seemed guarded. This seemed odd as she was the one who sat right next to me, yet she gave me no signal for anything more than that. Our other two dates she was pretty conversational, but not last night. I'm very experienced in these dating situations and I do lay the kiss on and I know how to read the situations, but this girl is confusing the hell out of me. She gives NO buying signals yet keeps wanting to spend time with me, it makes no sense.

Lastly, maybe I am screwed up and didn't realize it. My parents divorced about 5 years ago, and I had some pretty ugly relationships around that time that ended rough. I never felt like I had an issue but if feeling this way over dating isn't normal then maybe I shouldn't be seeing this girl anymore, or anyone for that matter. It really isn't that fun for me. I guess I've just been burned enough times in the past to where I'd like to know where I stand early on so if it's not "happening" I can just walk away first without getting hurt too much from it. But when I date a girl like this that I really like but is a tougher book to read than Moby Dick, I guess it's just frustrating as all hell.

I don't know what I'm going to do from here. I know I can't ask her, that's a huge no-no, maybe I'll just let her call me and if I don't hear from her I can just rest easy.
Get well soon with the knee and now your not walking her makes perfect sense.

The bolded bit makes me think she is shy and was feeling even shyer because she was at your place, a more intimate setting than your prior dates. In my opinion, that is likely why she was being less conversational. She sat next to you and probably thought you would take the next step (e.g. arm around her shoulders). I would guess she did the quick hug and run because she thinks you are not interested in her because nothing that took it to the next level happened. I will bet she is wondering what is wrong with her and feeling that she is in the "friend zone".

I can't comment on the underlined bit. Only you can decide if you are in the right frame of mind to be in a relationship or dating. If you want to see her again, call her. If you are not sure or not ready to be in a relationship then don't
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 03-14-2010, 11:45 AM
 
2,608 posts, read 2,874,467 times
Reputation: 2024
Quote:
Originally Posted by typhoidmary View Post
Get well soon with the knee and now your not walking her makes perfect sense.

The bolded bit makes me think she is shy and was feeling even shyer because she was at your place, a more intimate setting than your prior dates. In my opinion, that is likely why she was being less conversational. She sat next to you and probably thought you would take the next step (e.g. arm around her shoulders). I would guess she did the quick hug and run because she thinks you are not interested in her because nothing that took it to the next level happened. I will bet she is wondering what is wrong with her and feeling that she is in the "friend zone".

I can't comment on the underlined bit. Only you can decide if you are in the right frame of mind to be in a relationship or dating. If you want to see her again, call her. If you are not sure or not ready to be in a relationship then don't
I usually do make that "first step" but the way she was sitting was like a little leaning the other way kind of sitting if that makes any sense. Trust me, if I had ANY clue or opportunity to put the arm around her I would, but this girl is no joke, she gave me nothing, no window. When girls want you to make a move they somehow tell you with their eyes or their body language, I got nothing. Maybe she's already put ME in the friend zone??
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 03-14-2010, 12:22 PM
 
Location: Tempe, AZ
740 posts, read 689,988 times
Reputation: 441
Quote:
Originally Posted by cdubs3201 View Post
I usually do make that "first step" but the way she was sitting was like a little leaning the other way kind of sitting if that makes any sense. Trust me, if I had ANY clue or opportunity to put the arm around her I would, but this girl is no joke, she gave me nothing, no window. When girls want you to make a move they somehow tell you with their eyes or their body language, I got nothing. Maybe she's already put ME in the friend zone??
Makes perfect sense and is hard to interpret. It could be nerves and could be lack of interest. I think, given where your head is at the minute, don't contact her unless you REALLY like her. If she contacts you, then you can decide if you want to see her again at that time.

Good luck!
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 03-14-2010, 01:11 PM
 
2,608 posts, read 2,874,467 times
Reputation: 2024
Talked to a female friend on the phone just now, I know what I'm going to do.

Double date/dinner date with friends. This will do a couple things: 1. let her know that I'm into her enough where I'd introduce her to my friends and 2. My female friends will be able to tell from her body language and from the date whether or not she's into me.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 03-14-2010, 01:14 PM
 
Location: Tucson
42,844 posts, read 54,396,375 times
Reputation: 22789
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ep- View Post
so you were on the couch watching a movie. did you have your arm around her or anything? i had a movie date at my place last night and just started kissing the girl at the end, while she was saying something mid sentence :P
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ep- View Post
she sits right next to you you put your arm around her
^ What he says! Geez, it ain't rocket science!
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 03-14-2010, 01:23 PM
Ep-
 
2,015 posts, read 2,289,235 times
Reputation: 2274
Quote:
Originally Posted by cdubs3201 View Post
Talked to a female friend on the phone just now, I know what I'm going to do.

Double date/dinner date with friends. This will do a couple things: 1. let her know that I'm into her enough where I'd introduce her to my friends and 2. My female friends will be able to tell from her body language and from the date whether or not she's into me.
i dunno. seems like a bit much to bring someone along to read her body language. esp since not everyone has the same body language.

seems much easier (and makes more sense!) to just take her somewhere, put your arm around her and kiss her goodnight

not everything is gonna have a definite sign. sometimes you just gotta go for what you want and see what happens
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 03-14-2010, 01:28 PM
 
Location: My Private Island
4,928 posts, read 4,576,372 times
Reputation: 12145
Quote:
Originally Posted by cdubs3201 View Post
Talked to a female friend on the phone just now, I know what I'm going to do.

Double date/dinner date with friends. This will do a couple things: 1. let her know that I'm into her enough where I'd introduce her to my friends and 2. My female friends will be able to tell from her body language and from the date whether or not she's into me.

I know you really like her but there's no better way to find out where you stand than ask her......"So, what do you think about us?" It's not invasive and depending on her answer, you will have a better understanding of where you are...friend or potential boyfriend.

It's certainly much easier than playing this game of charades' you are currently doing.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.

Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.


Reply
Please update this thread with any new information or opinions. This open thread is still read by thousands of people, so we encourage all additional points of view.

Quick Reply
Message:

Over $84,000 in prizes was already given out to active posters on our forum and additional giveaways are planned!

Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Relationships
Similar Threads

All times are GMT -6. The time now is 09:10 PM.

2005-2014, Advameg, Inc.

City-Data.com - Archive 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25 - Top