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I am a unabashed supporter of gay and lesbian rights, including the right to marry. I have always had gay and lesbian friends, and I am the proud uncle of a lesbian couple, but I've never had the nerve to ask one simple brickheaded question.
If gay and lesbians are attracted to the same sex, then why do many gay and lesbian couples adopt the opposite appearance of the sex they are attracted to?
This struck me as I looked over the great photos prom pictures of lesbian high school couples. So, I would be grateful for an answer because its killing me.
I'm not gay, but a (gay) friend of mine and I were talking about this the other day. His theory is that back in the day, when it wasn't so socially acceptable to be outwardly gay, that women being butch or men being effeminate in dress and mannerisms was a visual marker; a way for gays and lesbians to show who they were to each other and to straight society.
I imagine it's just what they are more comfortable with. I'm only guessing here - but I think a woman who adopts a masculine appearance doesn't really feel like she's a man, just that's she not prissy and girly.
I don't know if that's what you're asking, but that's what I'm understanding from your inquery.
I am a unabashed supporter of gay and lesbian rights, including the right to marry. I have always had gay and lesbian friends, and I am the proud uncle of a lesbian couple, but I've never had the nerve to ask one simple brickheaded question.
If gay and lesbians are attracted to the same sex, then why do many gay and lesbian couples adopt the opposite appearance of the sex they are attracted to?
This struck me as I looked over the great photos prom pictures of lesbian high school couples. So, I would be grateful for an answer because its killing me.
I don't know, but you might consider this: rephrase your question so that everything is opposite and see if it makes sense.
If [straight people] are attracted to the [opposite] sex, then why do many [straight people] adopt the [same] appearance of the sex they are attracted to?
My guess is that:
1. We're attracted to other people, not ourselves, so
2. How we express ourselves is different from what we seek in others.
Why is it your business? Not every straight woman is an effeminate little flower.
How can you support gays with that attitude?
There's no need to be defensive. The original poster is asking a question because he's curious not because he's homophobic. I think he realizes that not ALL same-sex couples have the butch/femme dynamic but wants to know why so many do. To me, that's a perfectly valid question.
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