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It's just part of who they are, not all of who they are.
This is true. However, I think we tend to define a person by how little or how much bad there is. There is good and bad in most people.
If a person is usually good, honorable, honest, etc. and moody from time to time, no biggie. If they are more ugly than they are good, how would you describe them? If they alternate from being nice half the time to being mean and nasty the other half, how would you describe them?
It isn't always an issue of how much is good, how much is bad. Suppose you married a guy who was kind, reliable, a good father, etc. And then one day, he decides to cheat on you. Which is the real person? The one who helped you through your cancer treatment and read bedtime stories to your kids? Or the guy who decided to throw away his marriage to you so he could have a fling with some girl he met in a bar?
No. I judge people based on their holistic interactions. If the majority of my interactions with the person are negative ie: arguing, silent treatment, rude jokes aimed at my expense, etc. then that represents them as a person.
It isn't always an issue of how much is good, how much is bad. Suppose you married a guy who was kind, reliable, a good father, etc. And then one day, he decides to cheat on you. Which is the real person? The one who helped you through your cancer treatment and read bedtime stories to your kids? Or the guy who decided to throw away his marriage to you so he could have a fling with some girl he met in a bar?
I think you and I will differ on the topic of cheating. But in the scenario you are describing, I'd agree with you. It goes back to how a person handles adversity being what truly defines them, at least in my book. The degree of "bad" also plays a role, not just how often.
This is true. However, I think we tend to define a person by how little or how much bad there is. There is good and bad in most people.
If a person is usually good, honorable, honest, etc. and moody from time to time, no biggie. If they are more ugly than they are good, how would you describe them? If they alternate from being nice half the time to being mean and nasty the other half, how would you describe them?
That's a good point.
I should say that while it is part of who a person is, much of it depends on how large that part is.
I'd say who you really are is your average on the scale between your best and your worst...I mean for example I met this girls a week ago who I think is just terrific and cute etc, ofc I'm counting on that she'll have her worse sides just like I have mine... will it bother me if she has some minor worse stuff like say... burping when she's drunk? being very emotional while on her period? no probably not, however if she would for example be a total psycho after a little bit of drinking, smash car windows and make out with any guy in her path, then yes it would bother me alot...
I guess what I'm trying to say is that you have to weigh in the ammount and severity of the bad side to the total picture...
The thread about how dating is like job hunting got me to thinking about how people are on their best behavior when you first start dating. They emphasize their good qualities and try to hide their bad ones. Sooner or later, those bad qualities come out and you see a side of the person you didn't know was there. During stressful times is one example of when you might see these qualities. I've always thought that if you truly loved someone, you'd accept them even when they're at their worst. For example, you might have a partner who gets really grouchy when they tired or sick. But there are extreme cases as well. A person might turn to drinking and become abusive. Obviously, you wouldn't just tolerate that kind of behavior. My question is do you think a person at their worst is who they really are?
People usually put their best foot forward in the beginning of a relationship. You can only put on a mask so long. Eventually the good, bad and the ugly comes out. You just have to decide if you like the whole package after seeing it? A recent explosion of a relationship involving me brought out a side of me that I don't like. Make no mistake that it is still there. Would a guy with the name Rugged be a candy a**? H*** no!!!LOL.......... Don't tread on me!!!
It also depend...is there someone who is 'instigating' that bad behavior?
For example, men say I surprise them when I put them in their places. Why? Because usually Im this nice, caring person who seems to never have an argument when on dates with men.
However, if they take it as me being a doormat, all hell breaks loose. Im sweet on the outside, but if someone decides to act stupid e.g. play text tennis, make plans and then cancel, use me for ****, and basically treat me complacent...then I turn into straight up ghetto chick in no time flat! There have been times I've said things as nicely as possible (while annoyed) and they see it as me having an attitude? No...Im just letting you know you're not going to walk all over me, that Im going to put my foot down when I sense you are taking advantage of me or taking me for granted. Thats not a personality trait, thats an affirmative, assertive action. If they cant deal with me asserting myself, they can take my left foot...
And then they wonder, where did that come from? It came from YOU fool! Don't stir ****, there wont be ****...simple as that.
It also depend...is there someone who is 'instigating' that bad behavior?
For example, men say I surprise them when I put them in their places. Why? Because usually Im this nice, caring person who seems to never have an argument when on dates with men.
However, if they take it as me being a doormat, all hell breaks loose. Im sweet on the outside, but if someone decides to act stupid e.g. play text tennis, make plans and then cancel, use me for ****, and basically treat me complacent...then I turn into straight up ghetto chick in no time flat !
And then they wonder, where did that come from? It came from YOU fool! Don't stir ****, there wont be ****...simple as that.
Well, it's how quick and over what someone just SNAPS! that can send a person packing with the heebeejeebees.
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H*** no!!!LOL..........
Don't tread on me!!! 
There have been times I've said things as nicely as possible (while annoyed) and they see it as me having an attitude? No...Im just letting you know you're not going to walk all over me, that Im going to put my foot down when I sense you are taking advantage of me or taking me for granted. Thats not a personality trait, thats an affirmative, assertive action. If they cant deal with me asserting myself, they can take my left foot...
