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Ok, to make things brief, my ex and I kind of left each other. I didn't want to leave him, but I just can't take this anymore. He's obsessed with my past. When we started dating I was a virgin, meaning I'd never had intercourse. I had never had a boyfriend. I had never been in love. I had, however, had a friend with benefits with whom I made out a lot, got to second base and I gave him half a BJ once. I say half, 'cause he didn't finish. Other thann that, on two ocassions, I made out with random guys at bars. I also had crushes and wrote posts on their blogs (no Facebook or Twitter back then, yet), and since they never deleted their blogs, my posts are still there. I had my own blog and I'd posted some pictures in which I showed some cleavage, but I deleted my blog (my ex, however, saved those pictures). All of this upsets him. All of that happened when I was SINGLE. Totally and completely single, most of it happened when I didn't even know he existed!
The ironic thing is my ex friend with benefits is the guy who introduced us. This only made things worse when he found out. I never told him about my past, but once he asked me if I had history with that particular friend and I told him. He doesn't trust me since then. He says I should've warned him so he could know what type of girl I am. 'Cause now he thinks I'm "that" type of girl since I "gave it up" to other guys so easily.
He keeps pushing the subject, and it gets worse and worse. But all of that happened at least 4 years ago. It sems like to him, having given another guy a BJ was more meaningful to me than losing my virginity to the guy I love. Hell, he thinks a simple crush was more important to me than HAVING FALLEN IN LOVE FOR THE FIRST TIME wiith him!!!! It seems he cares a lot about not having been my first everything, but he's been my first in a lot of significant areas! Hell, I wasn't even his first anything, but I'm not whining about it! He says it's different. He says I don't have a right to feel bad about not being his first anything 'cause 1) I don't know his exes personally and 2) He never made out with a random girl, nor did he receive a BJ from a friend with benefits, nor did he post in the blogs of girls he crushed on. But we're DIFFERENT people, with DIFFERENT experiences! But no matter how much I tell him that, he just concludes the same thing: I'm a wh*** and I'm an awful person and girlfriend.
Despite all this, I love him with all my heart and I'm in great pain, especially 'cause even though we broke up he keeps texting me hurtful things, he doesn't believe I'm suffering he thinks he's the victim because all this time, I only wanted to make a fool out of him. He also says he feels I humilliated him, because a lot of his friends know I was with this other mutual friend and he thinks everyone thinks he is a loser because he's dating what the other guy dismissed, somethhing like that.
Sorry for the rant, anyway... I'm hurt, I love him desperately and I don't know how to get over him. It's as he wanted it, he wanted to be first in everything, well, now he's my first ex... the first to completely shatter my heart, I hope that makes him happy :/
He also keeps making me feel guilty by telling me that we'd be a perfect couple, hadn't it been because I screwed up and did all those things before I met him. I try turning it around, telling him we'd be a perfect couple if it weren't because of his insecurities but that just makes him more upset. We get along so well other than this, we share practically everything in common, etc. Before he knew about my past, he was so sweet and loving, like a freakin' Prince Charming...
Ok, to make things brief, my ex and I kind of left each other. I didn't want to leave him, but I just can't take this anymore. He's obsessed with my past. When we started dating I was a virgin, meaning I'd never had intercourse. I had never had a boyfriend. I had never been in love. I had, however, had a friend with benefits with whom I made out a lot, got to second base and I gave him half a BJ once. I say half, 'cause he didn't finish. Other thann that, on two ocassions, I made out with random guys at bars. I also had crushes and wrote posts on their blogs (no Facebook or Twitter back then, yet), and since they never deleted their blogs, my posts are still there. I had my own blog and I'd posted some pictures in which I showed some cleavage, but I deleted my blog (my ex, however, saved those pictures). All of this upsets him. All of that happened when I was SINGLE. Totally and completely single, most of it happened when I didn't even know he existed!
The ironic thing is my ex friend with benefits is the guy who introduced us. This only made things worse when he found out. I never told him about my past, but once he asked me if I had history with that particular friend and I told him. He doesn't trust me since then. He says I should've warned him so he could know what type of girl I am. 'Cause now he thinks I'm "that" type of girl since I "gave it up" to other guys so easily.
He keeps pushing the subject, and it gets worse and worse. But all of that happened at least 4 years ago. It sems like to him, having given another guy a BJ was more meaningful to me than losing my virginity to the guy I love. Hell, he thinks a simple crush was more important to me than HAVING FALLEN IN LOVE FOR THE FIRST TIME wiith him!!!! It seems he cares a lot about not having been my first everything, but he's been my first in a lot of significant areas! Hell, I wasn't even his first anything, but I'm not whining about it! He says it's different. He says I don't have a right to feel bad about not being his first anything 'cause 1) I don't know his exes personally and 2) He never made out with a random girl, nor did he receive a BJ from a friend with benefits, nor did he post in the blogs of girls he crushed on. But we're DIFFERENT people, with DIFFERENT experiences! But no matter how much I tell him that, he just concludes the same thing: I'm a wh*** and I'm an awful person and girlfriend.
Despite all this, I love him with all my heart and I'm in great pain, especially 'cause even though we broke up he keeps texting me hurtful things, he doesn't believe I'm suffering he thinks he's the victim because all this time, I only wanted to make a fool out of him. He also says he feels I humilliated him, because a lot of his friends know I was with this other mutual friend and he thinks everyone thinks he is a loser because he's dating what the other guy dismissed, somethhing like that.
Sorry for the rant, anyway... I'm hurt, I love him desperately and I don't know how to get over him. It's as he wanted it, he wanted to be first in everything, well, now he's my first ex... the first to completely shatter my heart, I hope that makes him happy :/
He also keeps making me feel guilty by telling me that we'd be a perfect couple, hadn't it been because I screwed up and did all those things before I met him. I try turning it around, telling him we'd be a perfect couple if it weren't because of his insecurities but that just makes him more upset. We get along so well other than this, we share practically everything in common, etc. Before he knew about my past, he was so sweet and loving, like a freakin' Prince Charming...
The first one, eh? The first one is always hard. You should prepare yourself for more in the future. It seems to take a while before you find the right one. Good luck and I hope you find one more suitable for you! Rugged
I'm really sorry you're hurting. Break ups are never easy.
However, it sounds to me like he's an immature little jerk, and you do NOT deserve that kind of treatment from anyone. Block his calls/e-mails and texts and spend some time having fun with friends and don't worry about a relationship for a while.
Seriously, this guy is NOT NOT NOT someone you would want to spend the rest of your life crying over. If any guy said those kinds of things to me he'd be out of my life so fast. Maybe it's because I've dated so many jerks that I finally (at age 40-something) just won't put up with that crap any more.
Ok, to make things brief, my ex and I kind of left each other. I didn't want to leave him, but I just can't take this anymore. He's obsessed with my past. When we started dating I was a virgin, meaning I'd never had intercourse. I had never had a boyfriend. I had never been in love. I had, however, had a friend with benefits with whom I made out a lot, got to second base and I gave him half a BJ once. I say half, 'cause he didn't finish. Other thann that, on two ocassions, I made out with random guys at bars. I also had crushes and wrote posts on their blogs (no Facebook or Twitter back then, yet), and since they never deleted their blogs, my posts are still there. I had my own blog and I'd posted some pictures in which I showed some cleavage, but I deleted my blog (my ex, however, saved those pictures). All of this upsets him. All of that happened when I was SINGLE. Totally and completely single, most of it happened when I didn't even know he existed!
The ironic thing is my ex friend with benefits is the guy who introduced us. This only made things worse when he found out. I never told him about my past, but once he asked me if I had history with that particular friend and I told him. He doesn't trust me since then. He says I should've warned him so he could know what type of girl I am. 'Cause now he thinks I'm "that" type of girl since I "gave it up" to other guys so easily.
He keeps pushing the subject, and it gets worse and worse. But all of that happened at least 4 years ago. It sems like to him, having given another guy a BJ was more meaningful to me than losing my virginity to the guy I love. Hell, he thinks a simple crush was more important to me than HAVING FALLEN IN LOVE FOR THE FIRST TIME wiith him!!!! It seems he cares a lot about not having been my first everything, but he's been my first in a lot of significant areas! Hell, I wasn't even his first anything, but I'm not whining about it! He says it's different. He says I don't have a right to feel bad about not being his first anything 'cause 1) I don't know his exes personally and 2) He never made out with a random girl, nor did he receive a BJ from a friend with benefits, nor did he post in the blogs of girls he crushed on. But we're DIFFERENT people, with DIFFERENT experiences! But no matter how much I tell him that, he just concludes the same thing: I'm a wh*** and I'm an awful person and girlfriend.
Despite all this, I love him with all my heart and I'm in great pain, especially 'cause even though we broke up he keeps texting me hurtful things, he doesn't believe I'm suffering he thinks he's the victim because all this time, I only wanted to make a fool out of him. He also says he feels I humilliated him, because a lot of his friends know I was with this other mutual friend and he thinks everyone thinks he is a loser because he's dating what the other guy dismissed, somethhing like that.
Sorry for the rant, anyway... I'm hurt, I love him desperately and I don't know how to get over him. It's as he wanted it, he wanted to be first in everything, well, now he's my first ex... the first to completely shatter my heart, I hope that makes him happy :/
He also keeps making me feel guilty by telling me that we'd be a perfect couple, hadn't it been because I screwed up and did all those things before I met him. I try turning it around, telling him we'd be a perfect couple if it weren't because of his insecurities but that just makes him more upset. We get along so well other than this, we share practically everything in common, etc. Before he knew about my past, he was so sweet and loving, like a freakin' Prince Charming...
You sound very young, so just know this is not the end of the world, okay?
I know you are hurt - but here's the thing...you are giving this guy WAY too much power over you. Grow a spine, right now, and stand up straight! Quit buying into HIS insecurities and his problems - HE has a lot of growing up to do and is very immature. Trust me, he's no "prince charming" if he's purposely making you miserable and degrading who you are. Again, HE is the one with the issues and you are under no obligation to make yourself a doormat just to appease him.
Hold you head up high, be proud of who you are, and walk away from this guy for good.
You have every right to feel hurt - you gave him what you thought was a special gift, and now he's throwing it back in your face b/c of, quite frankly, insignificant things that could've happened to anyone, before you two met.
He's immature, at the very least, and emotional abusive, at best. I know you had your heart all wrapped around him and the idea of him and your future with him, but you know what? That's all a fantasy. The reality is that he is able to treat someone that loves him like cr*p, and treat her like sh*t, for things that should be none of his business for, and that he himself is guilty of.
You don't need to be with someone who doesn't treat you with the love, kindness, dignity, and respect that you deserve. It's sad, but obviously he's not that guy. Try to distance him the best that you can (block messages etc), and soon you will meet someone who really cares about you for who you are, not who they think you are.
He also keeps making me feel guilty by telling me that we'd be a perfect couple, hadn't it been because I screwed up and did all those things before I met him. I try turning it around, telling him we'd be a perfect couple if it weren't because of his insecurities but that just makes him more upset. We get along so well other than this, we share practically everything in common, etc. Before he knew about my past, he was so sweet and loving, like a freakin' Prince Charming...
This guy sounds controlling and manipulative and though I'm sorry you're going through the pain of a breakup, I suspect you'll be much better off without him.
If a guy loves you then he won't want to make you feel bad or guilty. If he truly loves you, he won't dwell on your past before you met him. He will instead make plans for your future happiness together. His out-of-line obsession with your old single days is clear evidence that he is an obsessive and controlling guy. Do not date such men -- they are bad, bad news. They are very two faced, just as you have found out. These men are very often abusive, verbally and physicially. Their insecurity is toxic.
So cry over the lost relationship but count yourself lucky that you will not end up that an obsessive, controlling guy.
I'm hurt, I love him desperately and I don't know how to get over him. It's as he wanted it, he wanted to be first in everything, well, now he's my first ex... the first to completely shatter my heart, I hope that makes him happy :/
He also keeps making me feel guilty by telling me that we'd be a perfect couple, hadn't it been because I screwed up and did all those things before I met him. I try turning it around, telling him we'd be a perfect couple if it weren't because of his insecurities but that just makes him more upset. We get along so well other than this, we share practically everything in common, etc. Before he knew about my past, he was so sweet and loving, like a freakin' Prince Charming...
What.
A.
Tool.
Seriously. Who the heck is he to judge your past?
Was he at least a virgin who had never made out with other girls or fooled around with anyone before?
If not, you can add "raging hypocrite" to the list of his character flaws.
So, if you want to get over him, think of how utterly unfair, manipulative, nasty, and emotionally abusive he has been to you, and how wrong that is. You do not deserve it in the least.
Just one bit of advice: People can't make you feel bad without your permission. I suggest not giving him your permission.
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Prince Charming? No. Just a toad.
