Why is it so hard for a woman to say NO to a guy that they are not interested in (dating, boyfriend) - Relationships -Dating, marriage, boyfriends, girlfriends, men, women, friends, attraction ... - City-Data Forum

prinessdanika99 · 03-22-2010, 11:10 PM

Seriously, I have seen so many of my guy friends who can not take a hint when the woman they are pursuing does not respond to any of their phone calls or texts.

It is just wrong, poor fellas, thinking they still can get the girl. Why can't they just say it to them flat out. They do realize they are making them more miserable and even though they might tire and just stop it is just the wrong way to handle that specific situation. If you are not interested in a guy just tell them bluntly, they will be much better off and best you wont be receiving messages or phone calls. Guys can handle rejection and if anything they will probably be over it in a couple hours or so.

misswee · 03-22-2010, 11:32 PM

and it goes the other way too.

Beliciano · 03-22-2010, 11:44 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by misswee

and it goes the other way too.

But men are the ones who do more of the approaching.

NotARedneck · 03-23-2010, 12:32 AM

If you are trying to be serious, you have failed.

miu · 03-23-2010, 04:28 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by prinessdanika99

Seriously, I have seen so many of my guy friends who can not take a hint when the woman they are pursuing does not respond to any of their phone calls or texts.

It is just wrong, poor fellas, thinking they still can get the girl. Why can't they just say it to them flat out. They do realize they are making them more miserable and even though they might tire and just stop it is just the wrong way to handle that specific situation. If you are not interested in a guy just tell them bluntly, they will be much better off and best you wont be receiving messages or phone calls. Guys can handle rejection and if anything they will probably be over it in a couple hours or so.

I think that these women don't want to be mean and hurt a guy's feelings. They think that by just not answering or returning these guys' phone calls, that should be a big enough hint that their romantic overtures are being rejected. It just seems very harsh to them to come out and say "Hey, I just don't like you enough to want to date you." Or they don't want to get into some involved and uncomfortable conversation with a guy about why he's not someone they want to date. After all, who wants to come out and say that someone is not good looking enough to want to kiss or that they dislike their personality? Who wants to have to say that they find another person annoying? No one wants to say anything like that to another person. Instead, they just try to avoid any contact with these unwanted suitors, and those people should just get the hint that their company is unwanted and move on.

Women are conditioned from childhood to be nice. And what most women want is to have a lot of platonic friends and be popular, and they don't necessarily want to have a lot of lovers. On the other hand, most men seem to not be interested in having a lot of platonic female friends. Instead, most men would rather experience a lot of female sexual partners and that's their main purpose in making friendly contact with the women they encounter. And the only women they are friendly to are attractive (to them) and single.

And another aspect to this dynamic is that our society tells our women how important it is to be physically attractive. And so when strange men approach them for dates, even if they aren't actually attracted to these men, they welcome these initial advances as it validates their attractiveness to the opposite sex.

BTW if you are truly friends with these guy friends that you refer to, you should tell firmly them to stop calling these women that aren't returning their calls.

sweetheart1311 · 03-23-2010, 08:52 AM

I agree with the previous poster. I never tell a guy I'm not interested. I just can't bring myself to say "You're not my type" or something like that. What I usually say is that IF I AM interested in a guy, he'll know. If it's a stranger I just say I have a boyfriend

.

sierraAZ · 03-23-2010, 08:59 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by sweetheart1311

I just can't bring myself to say "You're not my type" or something like that.

Well, you can always say you think you're just very different people and things won't work out. It's only hard when you've had some positive interaction with somebody online before you've seen a picture and the picture repulses you.

Ameribull · 03-23-2010, 08:59 AM

Yeah I have friends like that too. Its so pathetic. Nothing more sad than chasing a woman.

sweetheart1311 · 03-23-2010, 09:05 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by sierraAZ

Well, you can always say you think you're just very different people and things won't work out. It's only hard when you've had some positive interaction with somebody online before you've seen a picture and the picture repulses you.

I don't do online dating

. Usually it's about the looks (at least in case of strangers asking me out).

Ep- · 03-23-2010, 09:07 AM

i had this conversation with a female friend once.

i told her i always let girls know very directly that i am not interested. she was shocked that i would call a girl and say this instead of just ignoring her. i dont get why its so hard for most people. i think just ignoring people is kind of ****ty.