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Old 03-24-2010, 03:06 AM
 
Location: Somewhere out there...
3,663 posts, read 8,633,940 times
Reputation: 3750

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Lately I feel so lonely that I have started chatting online with a guy who is married and also lonely. I am married with kids and I must be having the mid life crisis we hear so much of. My husband is not a conversationalist and ignores me most of the time. We do not function like husband and wife and no matter how much I try to talk to him he just ignores the situation. How do you fill the void when your spouse wont communicate.
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Old 03-24-2010, 05:11 AM
 
Location: Tennessee
16,224 posts, read 25,577,631 times
Reputation: 24104
I`m sure you know that talking to a married man online is not the answer?!
If you want to save your marriage, then you need to go to him again, and tell him that its time for a heart to heart talk. Make him listen to you!
If he still does not listen, then tell him you want a divorce. Maybe he will listen then.
You have kids? Spend more time with them, instead of this married guy online! Good luck!!!
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Old 03-24-2010, 05:18 AM
 
Location: Ohio
2,175 posts, read 9,140,803 times
Reputation: 3961
Chatting with a married guy who is also lonely just might lead to problems you don't want any part of.
You don't know him. You don't know his intentions or his history. Anyone can say anything on the internet to set up someone for purposes that might not be in your best interests.
Never give your full name, address, or any personal info that can lead any person to tracing you.
Do you have any friends that you know you can trust and talk to on the phone? Or hobbies or interests that you and your friends share?
Some people are just quiet by nature and undemonstrative and as long as they are with the one they want to be with they are happy.
I don't know if your hubby is one of those or not. Maybe he is going through some kind of midlife crises also thinking he isn't what he used to be which can cause a fellow to become a little introverted and non communitive.
But be very carefull about who you communicate with and what you say to a person you know nothing about and have never met.
Fill the void with your kids, family, and friends. Not with someone who can type anything on a keyboard not knowing if any of what is typed is true.
Trust those you know unless they give you good reason not to.
Never trust anyone you don't know. Talk is cheap. Sometimes silence is more golden than pretty artificial words on a social webpage.
I presume you and your husband got married, had kids, because something about each of you caused each other to fall in love with one another.
Maybe it's time for both of you to think back to the reasons that happened and try to revive them.
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Old 03-24-2010, 06:55 AM
 
Location: Sunset Mountain
1,384 posts, read 3,168,431 times
Reputation: 1404
My spouse and I always communicate, but if it ever happened, I'd strip nakked and streak around him. I would throw marshmallows at him until he got mad.

I'd send him wild e-mails.

I'd be creative and go out of my way to turn his head my way....and start the party.

We don't have kids so it would be easier to get away with stuff.
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Old 03-24-2010, 12:37 PM
 
Location: Wu Dang Mountain
12,940 posts, read 21,570,320 times
Reputation: 8681
Quote:
Originally Posted by yankeegirl313 View Post
I`m sure you know that talking to a married man online is not the answer?!
But it is certainly AN answer...why make assumptions that something horrid will happen?
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Old 03-24-2010, 12:44 PM
 
25,080 posts, read 16,276,024 times
Reputation: 41803
I know exactly what it is like to be lonely in a room full of people. It is especially frustrating to be lonely and married. I don't have any fast answer, but I empathize with u. And, online relationships can be very powerful and convenient to help u escape what u r going through, but they too present problems... and opportunities to do the wrong thing. Keep your eye on ur bottom line and the big picture. A woman with a family need not assume unnecessary troubles. Hang in there and be careful
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Old 03-24-2010, 12:57 PM
 
Location: Tennessee
16,224 posts, read 25,577,631 times
Reputation: 24104
Quote:
Originally Posted by SifuPhil View Post
But it is certainly AN answer...why make assumptions that something horrid will happen?
Why would you think anything diffrent? She feels lonely and ignored in her marriage. Obviously, this married guy whom she is chatting with claims he is also lonely. She feels like she may be going through a mid life crisis, and is crying out for attention, but can`t seem to get it from her husband, not even conversation.

I don`t believe that chatting with another married man online is going to "fill her void" the right way.
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Old 03-24-2010, 01:11 PM
 
27,230 posts, read 27,295,133 times
Reputation: 45752
Lol...in my busy life, I dont have TIME for lonely. Heck I dont even get my own 'me' alone time it seems, anymore.
Chatting with people online isnt really going to fix the problem, and chatting with married people is going to create a bigger one.
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Old 03-24-2010, 01:14 PM
 
Location: Homeless
1,203 posts, read 1,976,004 times
Reputation: 516
Never felt lonely.
But never felt as if I belonged anywhere either.
No complaints though because thats just life.
Eventually it will end.
I would recommend marriage counseling if your husband does not listen.
If that does not work then maybe a split is in order.
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Old 03-24-2010, 02:57 PM
 
Location: Wu Dang Mountain
12,940 posts, read 21,570,320 times
Reputation: 8681
Quote:
Originally Posted by yankeegirl313 View Post
Why would you think anything diffrent? She feels lonely and ignored in her marriage. Obviously, this married guy whom she is chatting with claims he is also lonely. She feels like she may be going through a mid life crisis, and is crying out for attention, but can`t seem to get it from her husband, not even conversation.

I don`t believe that chatting with another married man online is going to "fill her void" the right way.
"The right way" being a moral judgment, no?

I'm just saying that perhaps in her case contact with someone who is experiencing something similar may be a good thing. Yes, something "bad" may happen, but nothing guarantees that there will be hell to pay eventually. In fact, this might be the stimulus package she needs to make a positive change in her relationship.
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