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I am not cheap. And I love how you come to conclusion without even knowing me.
In Britain most women I know don't care about this stuff. We evidently have different etiquettes here. Its an American thing I guess to constantly be concerned about the man paying and all that. I mean, we don't even go on official dates here like you guys do. We just call each other and ask if we wanna hang out for a drink. But hey, if it isnt the American way then it's wrong.
My first girlfriend was from Europe, came to America at a young age, and she was very cool with the dinners and movies. Our first date was Dutch, and mostly after that, whoever did the asking mostly was the one who paid. But what I liked most was, we chose places where we actually liked the food, not the most expensive places around. She mostly paid for me eating cheap Mexican food!!
A relationship in which only the woman asks the guy out for a month is quite strange...
Dorrans, that's not the first time you've been very vocal on the subject. You just ARE cheap. If it works for you, more power to you. It doesn't work for most.
I totally agree! It would be very odd indeed!
Quote:
Originally Posted by NYchi
Like it or not, some people are more traditional when it comes to this situation. Most men will insist on paying.
And God bless 'em for it too! I would think that if a man had any self respect, he would be picking up the tab.
Quote:
Originally Posted by JustJulia
I guess my question was overlooked, so I will ask it again. If men are expected to always do the asking and paying to show their respect for you, how do you show your respect for them? I'm genuinely curious.
By allowing them to experience the pleasure of my company! That's it...that's all that is required by me as a women. I have a good time, the guy has a good time and the date is a hit.
Quote:
Originally Posted by cdubs3201
This is MY thread, my rules
I appreciate your point of view, I'm intrigued by it, as I don't think a woman should pay for all or a single full check. But I was curious to how others handle the situation, meaning how many times do I insist to not let her pay for any of the meal to make sure I'm being courteous, respectul, and non-cheap before I give in to her insisting to split the check so I don't break my own bank.
I've had a lot of advice from people saying women have the right to take it slow, and go out with a guy just to get out of the house, and to just see what happens. If it's my "responsibility" to pay for the meals so be it, but 7 times out of 10 I'd say I don't get the respect shown back when they decide to end our dating. Meaning: 1. They didn't have the courtesy to even tell me on the phone or to my face, they will just ignore you and never call back, and 2. They probably knew at one point that I had no shot of being their boyfriend in the future and let me take them out and pay for their meal anyway.
For the record: I've only taken out 2 women to dinner in the last year, so those concerned with me over-spending on too many women early on, don't worry
Then she was a tosser and you didn't recognize it.
Quote:
Originally Posted by gwynedd1
Hi sparksharp,
And if you liked the guy, you would meet him for coffee; hence, the dinner date is a stupid move on the man's part for several reasons.
I agree! Dinner is too much of a time committment on a first date. Coffee is better...15 minutes and you can be out of there if need be. On the other hand it allows for lingering if all is going well. But the guy still picks up the check! lolololololol!
When I am in a relationship. Give me a break people, yeah this is 2010, but gender roles do still exist.
In other words, the man must respect you right off the bat, by wining and dining you. If he is worthy of your respect, you will enter into a relationship with him and cook and clean for him. Do I have that right?
That's right. And how come she's the only one initiating things?
She initiated the first few weeks cos she was much more into me than I was to her. I liked her, but not like that. I decided to give it a go and I ended up really liking her a lot more and enjoying her company privately. If I decided to ask her out I'd pay no question. I also offered to pay here, but she was adamant that she paid. Nothing I can do about that. Bear in mind, this was few months ago. Now we are a couple and I do a lot of cooking for her [a traditionally woman duty, see].
By allowing them to experience the pleasure of my company! That's it...that's all that is required by me as a women. I have a good time, the guy has a good time and the date is a hit.
Deary me. So he pays just to have you as a company? That is all you offer? The "pleasure" of your company? You couldn't sound more self-conceited if you tried.
How old are you if I may ask? Just wondering like.
In other words, the man must respect you right off the bat, by wining and dining you. If he is worthy of your respect, you will enter into a relationship with him and cook and clean for him. Do I have that right?
Look...the guy must be halfway interested if he's doing the asking.
Face it, it is a fact of evolution that a man must "win over" a woman.
She initiated the first few weeks cos she was much more into me than I was to her. I liked her, but not like that.
Just as I suspected... Which would be another reason for her to toss you, but as I said, it's her business.
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