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If this is going to eat away at you - and it seems that it will - I think you should get the paternity test. Just tell your wife straight up that you are going to do it, and why. Who knows, you may even get a confession which will save you a lot of trouble.
This might be the wrong forum. If so, I apologize.
Backstory... I recently found out my wife and her cousin (yes, her cousin) were texting back and forth about how they wanted to hold each other, kiss each other, craved each other, etc. She was pregnant at the time.
My guestimation is that the child was conceived around Christmas 2008. This was a time when we were getting along pretty well, however. Still, she went over to his house by herself. Naturally I didn't think anything of it, them being cousins and all.
The baby was born (slightly pre-mature) in August. I found out about the texts in October. The cousin lives in Florida, we live in Virginia. Niether has been exactly forthcoming about anything about the "relationship" and they don't have their details together. My wife says it was just talk, because she was feeling lonely and she and I weren't getting along. And that the talk was all it ever was, and that it had only gone on for about 6-7 months at that time (October).
Anyway, the baby has blue-ish greyish eyes. This eye color is dominant on my wifes mothers side of the family. In fact, when you look at Christmas pictures when all the extended family is there, most of the people have that eye color.
I have green eyes, my wife has greenish-hazel eyes. The cousin has the same eye color as the baby. None of the three other children have the same eye color.
I have a sick feeling that the child might not be mine, and that something might have happened when she was with him at Christmas. Am I being paranoid?
With SOME cases Blood Types (Not All) can help figure out if the baby is yours
You can go to this web page http://www.dnatesting.com/resources/blood-type-paternity-test.php
and type in the mothers + sons blood types in the test section, and check out the results
All check out the charts below. You know what your mother and child's blood type is.
So when you cross check the chart, your type should read type X or X.
If its NOT, and something really seems amiss
Speak To Your Doctor! This Information is from the Internet so don't swear by it.
But in most cases blood types won't tell you anything. Your still more likely have to go the DNA way
Still I think the whole your Wifes/Cousins relationship is really the bigger issue here don't you
My understanding of it was that a child doesn't take on its actual eye color until it is at least 2-3 months old. But that once it is 6-7 months (which he is) that the eye color should be defined.
I just find it strange that the three previous children do not have that eye color, my wife doesn't have that eye color, and I don't have that eye color.
I come from a family of five children. I have green eyes, and the other siblings have brown, hazel and two different shades of blue. My mother has green and my father has brown. Green is just a variation of blue, as is hazel. There is no question of paternity with us, and I know other families with similar variances.
As Onglet said, pursuing the paternity test may elicit a confession. But even if you get a confession and she did have a realtionship with her cousin, the child could still be yours - so as paternity is an issue you need to get the test done asap. At the moment I would guess this the "not knowing" is affecting your relationship and bonding with the child.
To the OP: what are you going to do if you find out the child is not yours? Are you actually going to leave her? Sometimes I think these things are better left alone if there is not going to be a change in the relationship. If you feel like you have to know in order to make or break this relationship, then get the paternity test done!
I wish you the best of luck.
Oh and y'all aren't from Guinea, Virginia are ya? Ok, sorry! That was my one Virginia incest joke!
To the OP: what are you going to do if you find out the child is not yours? Are you actually going to leave her? Sometimes I think these things are better left alone if there is not going to be a change in the relationship. If you feel like you have to know in order to make or break this relationship, then get the paternity test done!
I wish you the best of luck.
Oh and y'all aren't from Guinea, Virginia are ya? Ok, sorry! That was my one Virginia incest joke!
I knew someone who had a friend of the family he just absolutely HATED growing up. Really hated him. At his age of 32, the person I knew, killed himself. The sister believes someone, probably the dying mother on her death bed, finally told him this man, he had hated throuhout his life had, all along, been his father. His mom's husband who he believed was his father knew he wasn't his (he even looked identical to all the man's other boys) and raised him with great love as his own without ever showing any indifference to him - his dad, however, died when he was real young.
So, either do it now before the child is older or put up and shut up forever, those are the only two fair options. If the mother indeed told him on her death bed to clear her conscious after all those years it was extremely selfish and obviously very harmful.
Your not paranoid, I think the text is odd plus the timing, there's nothing wrong with wanting to know the truth. IMO the paternity should be established now for the sake of the child.
There is only one eye color two blue eyed parents can produce ,a blue eyed child, other than that rule, you can't use eye color to determine paternity, unless it's something exotic or unusual and even then you can never tell whats in someones geneology and when it will pop up.
Quote:
Originally Posted by AmIParanoid?
I was more looking for those more insightful than me as to the probability of a child having the aforementioned eye-color when neither parent has it.
You think I want to be in this situation or asking these questions? I'm troubled and confused, and I'm seeking answers by any means possible.
Posting annonymously on an internet forum is the least intrusive, most private means of seeking information.
Your not paranoid, I think the text is odd plus the timing, there's nothing wrong with wanting to know the truth. IMO the paternity should be established now for the sake of the child.
There is only one eye color two blue eyed parents can produce ,a blue eyed child, other than that rule, you can't use eye color to determine paternity, unless it's something exotic or unusual and even then you can never tell whats in someones geneology and when it will pop up.
This statement is just plain wrong. The genetics and other factors that determine eye color are more complicated than you learned in your high school biology class.
I'd post some links but I think it's best if you do your own homework.
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Just saying.
