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I could tell you a story about what a man I know did when he caught his wife cheating with another man. I keep telling him, he needs to write a book about it.. To shorten the story though, he threw his wife out, he had some of his friends, befriend this guy.. (We will call my friend John for the sake of this story and the other guy Joe)
John is a handsome, charming funny man and has never had any problem attracting women, almost a professional ladies man, he had it down pat and could charm any woman he wanted into bed. So, he had his friends that befriended the other guy reporting back to him WHO Joe was interested in and was fixing to date... He would get to her first, take her out and then go to bed with her. He always made sure Joe found out that he had taken her out and "got" her first by having his friends tell Joe "Oh, didn't you say you have a date with Mary Friday night? I saw John out with her last night..." He did this for YEARS. John made sure he was a thorn in Joe's side for many, many years. It took him 5 hours on the phone to tell me all the things he did to that man his wife was cheating with.
To me, that would be better revenge than beating him up and it could go on for as many years as you wanted... However, that is not letting go of the past so that you can have a future. You really need to let go of the past and look at what is ahead for you. Besides that, SHE invited him in and I agree, she is the one you should have the problem with, he could have been only 1 in a hundred guys she cheated on you with...
Move on and I leave you with this... Don't make the next woman in your life pay for what SHE did!
I could tell you a story about what a man I know did when he caught his wife cheating with another man. I keep telling him, he needs to write a book about it.. To shorten the story though, he threw his wife out, he had some of his friends, befriend this guy.. (We will call my friend John for the sake of this story and the other guy Joe)
John is a handsome, charming funny man and has never had any problem attracting women, almost a professional ladies man, he had it down pat and could charm any woman he wanted into bed. So, he had his friends that befriended the other guy reporting back to him WHO Joe was interested in and was fixing to date... He would get to her first, take her out and then go to bed with her. He always made sure Joe found out that he had taken her out and "got" her first by having his friends tell Joe "Oh, didn't you say you have a date with Mary Friday night? I saw John out with her last night..." He did this for YEARS. John made sure he was a thorn in Joe's side for many, many years. It took him 5 hours on the phone to tell me all the things he did to that man his wife was cheating with.
To me, that would be better revenge than beating him up and it could go on for as many years as you wanted... However, that is not letting go of the past so that you can have a future. You really need to let go of the past and look at what is ahead for you. Besides that, SHE invited him in and I agree, she is the one you should have the problem with, he could have been only 1 in a hundred guys she cheated on you with...
Move on and I leave you with this... Don't make the next woman in your life pay for what SHE did!
I could tell you a story about what a man I know did when he caught his wife cheating with another man. I keep telling him, he needs to write a book about it.. To shorten the story though, he threw his wife out, he had some of his friends, befriend this guy.. (We will call my friend John for the sake of this story and the other guy Joe)
John is a handsome, charming funny man and has never had any problem attracting women, almost a professional ladies man, he had it down pat and could charm any woman he wanted into bed. So, he had his friends that befriended the other guy reporting back to him WHO Joe was interested in and was fixing to date... He would get to her first, take her out and then go to bed with her. He always made sure Joe found out that he had taken her out and "got" her first by having his friends tell Joe "Oh, didn't you say you have a date with Mary Friday night? I saw John out with her last night..." He did this for YEARS. John made sure he was a thorn in Joe's side for many, many years. It took him 5 hours on the phone to tell me all the things he did to that man his wife was cheating with.
To me, that would be better revenge than beating him up and it could go on for as many years as you wanted... However, that is not letting go of the past so that you can have a future. You really need to let go of the past and look at what is ahead for you. Besides that, SHE invited him in and I agree, she is the one you should have the problem with, he could have been only 1 in a hundred guys she cheated on you with...
Move on and I leave you with this... Don't make the next woman in your life pay for what SHE did!
You know I've done my fair share of getting back at people in creative ways and I do think that people need to be set straight and boundaries enforced. However I also realize that life is short and do you really want to waste time on people you have no future interest in? I don't.
I think especially in the OP's case he did the right thing rather than dragging out the drama. I think now at my age I'd do the same thing. Throw all their **** out the door, burn the bed and change the locks. Then the next day get up and move on. I can't see wasting 6 months, a year, two years, ad nauseum on all the aggro.
Well angry red, like I said I'm no lawyer, hence my advisement to people that have others in their house to know the law in their state. Capeche?
Well, it's funny how people's understanding of law is selective. Like most lay people, you got the first part -- living together. But the second part -- that you have to actually tell people you are husband and wife -- suddenly requires a law degree to understand or remember. For what it's worth, since you are not a lawyer, maybe your advice shouldn't include a statement on what you think the law is. Or if you really, really want to make a statement like that, perhaps you should look up the statute beforehand. And by the way -- it's "capisce".
Well, it's funny how people's understanding of law is selective. Like most lay people, you got the first part -- living together. But the second part -- that you have to actually tell people you are husband and wife -- suddenly requires a law degree to understand or remember. For what it's worth, since you are not a lawyer, maybe your advice shouldn't include a statement on what you think the law is. Or if you really, really want to make a statement like that, perhaps you should look up the statute beforehand. And by the way -- it's "capisce".
I took his statement as a general warning for people to look up the laws in their state, not necessarily specific to this persons place of residence. Just a general warning. However here is some info on common law marriage in the United States:
Currently, only 9 states (Alabama, Colorado, Kansas, Rhode Island, South Carolina, Iowa, Montana, Oklahoma, and Texas) and the District of Columbia recognize common-law marriages contracted within their borders. In addition, five states have "grandfathered" common law marriage (Georgia, Idaho, Ohio, Oklahoma and Pennsylvania) allowing those established before a certain date to be recognized. New Hampshire recognizes common law marriage only for purposes of probate, and Utah recognizes common law marriages only if they have been validated by a court or administrative order.Common Law Marriage
The most commonly held misconception is that if two people live together for seven (or some other magic number) years, they are automatically common law spouses. In fact, common law marriage has been abolished in most states, and in the states where they are still recognized there is no simple test such as number of years for determining if a couple qualifies as common law.
Typically, common law marriages are recognized by theses states when a man and woman not only cohabitate for a period of time, but also "live" as married couple, i.e. the woman takes the man's name, the couple files joint tax returns, etc.
Yet even in cases where a common law marriage is determined, those couples will forfeit certain rights ordinarily allowed to legally married couples. Legal - Common Law Marriage - Associated Content - associatedcontent.com
Well, it's funny how people's understanding of law is selective. Like most lay people, you got the first part -- living together. But the second part -- that you have to actually tell people you are husband and wife -- suddenly requires a law degree to understand or remember. For what it's worth, since you are not a lawyer, maybe your advice shouldn't include a statement on what you think the law is. Or if you really, really want to make a statement like that, perhaps you should look up the statute beforehand. And by the way -- it's "capisce".
Well I know what the law is in Colorado which is why I quoted it and no I have no interest in debating statutes.
But as I said that is why people should investigate the law when they invite people to live in their home, what their rights are and the other persons rights are and hopefully that will avoid misunderstandings in the future or other difficulties.
I took his statement as a general warning for people to look up the laws in their state, not necessarily specific to this persons place of residence. Just a general warning. However here is some info on common law marriage in the United States:
To make a long story short, I came home early from a business trip and I caught my then girlfriend in bed with another man. Needless to say, I was furious. Apparently the cheating had been going on for a few months. It had been a 3-year relationship and I never saw this coming. I was in complete shock.
I ordered the man out of the house and told my girlfriend that she had 30 minutes to gather all of her belongings and never return (I fully own the house, she had just been periodically staying there time to time). It was very painful doing so, but I knew it was what I had to do. Once you can't trust someone, you have nothing.
Anyway, here's my question. I'm relatively strong 6' 180 and can bench around 305. I'm not the best fighter in the country, but I'm pretty good, I've won a few local and statewide Tae-Kwon-Do tournaments. Would I have legally been able to beat the crap out of the home-wrecker guy? I really wanted to teach him a lesson right there, was angry enough where I was about to, but then decided that he was not worth getting into trouble over. I figured it would probably be illegal. Keep in mind that I am not a violent person and have not been in a fist fight since I was 12 years old.
I started wondering: What my rights would have been in this situation? Would he have been considered a trespasser / intruder given that he was invited into the house, but obviously not welcome by the house owner? Would physically fighting with him have been against the law?
I have not seen either one of them since that day, and plan on never seeing either person again. But sometimes I think back and regret not at least punching the guy.....
Should I have done more? What would you have done if you were me? What would be the right thing to do in this situation?
Why would you want to beat HIM? He wasn't the one in a relationship with you. HE owed you nothing. He was just some guy getting piece of ass. Why is HE to blame?
I've never understood calling someone a homewrecker when THEY didn't make any promises to anyone nor did they break promises (at least not WRT YOUR relationship). Why be angry at the other guy as if he was to blame when it was your girlfriend who betrayed your trust?
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