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I'm a long time lurker here, and I know many people here have given excellent advice. I have a little bit of a problem and really need to vent. Here's my story: A few weeks ago, I was at a social function at a friend's house, and struck up a conversation with a guy. Anyway, we seemed to click right away, and started to hang out about a week later.
I like to get to know people as friends first, because I think that's the best foundation for a relationship, so we hung out just as friends. I sensed he might be attracted to me, and I was definitely starting to like him more in a romantic sense. Things finally came to a head Saturday night, when I asked him what he thought of me, and where this might go. He told me he loves my personality, and thinks we get along extremely well, but...he tells me he's not attracted to me physically because he's gay, and in the closet.
Now, I'm heartbroken. I was always raised that if you like someone, you should like them for who they are on the inside, and not be so shallow as to reject them just because they may not be perfect in your eyes. I'm not the best looking girl in the world, but why don't men see women for who we are on the inside? I don't know what I'm going to do now. I'd feel awkward hanging out with him again, and I can tell he'd feel the same way.
Does anyone have any advice? I'm heartbroken over this.
This is the same old story I hear from guys: you've got a great personality, but you're just not my type.
But...he's gay. No matter how much you want him to be physically attracted to you, he won't be. He sounds like he might make a good friend though, I wouldn't boot him. He did nothing wrong.
As far as other men who aren't gay...you can't help who you're attracted to. I've tried to make it work with girls in the past who were really fun, cool girls to hang out with, but if the attraction isn't there, it ain't happening. Girls do it too.
Last edited by RUINER_SR4; 03-29-2010 at 09:47 AM..
This is the same old story I hear from guys: you've got a great personality, but you're just not my type.
Uhm, no, it's not the SAME old story about men saying you have a great personality but... It's about a gay man not being attracted to women, not just you, on a romantic or sexual level. That is something you cannot change or do anything about and it's not something that should be looked upon negatively as rejection. It's just a simple fact you should not take personally. What is it that you feel you can garner in an intimate relationship with a gay man, who has no interest in women at all, except for friendship? This simply is not a case of a man being shallow as he said you would make great friends and I would keep it that way.
I'm not the best looking girl in the world, but why don't men see women for who we are on the inside?
This guy did see who you are on the inside but didn't find a 'Y' chromosome. If it makes you feel any better, this guy doesn't like 50% of the population. Consider it a true case of "it's not you, it's me".
Well..if you feel that just hanging out with him "as friends" would be to awkward for you, then my advice for you would be to leave it be.
At least he was honest with you about it.
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